What Makes Introverts So Attractive?

Although they may seem quiet and not exactly the life of the party, introverts are often found to extremely enticing to others.

Elon Musk, Abraham Lincoln, Steve Wozniak, Albert Einstein, and Bill Gates may not be what is considered traditionally handsome, but there’s no doubt that there’s something very attractive about them.

It’s no secret that many people of both genders are attracted to shy partners. Part of this may be that they are a challenge. One truth about many of us is that we always want what we can’t have, often pursuing it enthusiastically.

It also takes effort to establish and maintain a relationship with shy partners. We often don’t value things that are too easy to achieve. Not knowing a lot of what’s going on with these folks also leads to curiosity and mystery, two strong factors that are a big part of attraction.

But while those who are shy and those who are introverted sometimes share characteristics such as those above, they are also different. Some of the characteristics that are specific to introversion also contribute to why they are so attractive to those who aren’t introverted. Here are a few features common to an introvert’s personality may lead you to feel attracted to them.

They Are Mysterious

Introverts can seem mysterious which makes them interesting. People want to know what they are thinking, how they are reacting, how they are evaluating different things and people, and how they are feeling but frequently introverts don’t share these things or only do so in small doses. Others want to understand them and never quite feel that they do. This can make introverts seen incredibly fascinating as well as a bit intimidating at the same time.

They Are Easy to Be Around

Introverts tend to be more laid back, relaxed and easy going than extroverts. In a world that always seems noisy, crowded, and just plain stressful, their cool nature is extremely appealing. There are a lot of people who just don’t appear to be able to stop talking, in person or on their cell phones and others who are highly competitive, Type A, and constantly want to be the center of attention which is the opposite of the way an introvert acts. These characteristics make being around an introvert quite calming.

They Are Dreamers

Introverts have a very rich inner life, sometimes getting lost in what they are considering or dreaming about. The result is often ideas that are wonderfully creative, novel and intriguing. Being with an introvert if you are an extrovert can be hard at first because they likely will need periods of quiet to just contemplate whatever is going on.

At times you may find yourself amazed at the variety of things they come out with and you will feel like you are contributing to these novel approaches because they’ll include you in the process. After spending time with an introvert you may find yourself thinking in new ways because of your interactions with them

They Are Good Listeners

Having someone who genuinely listens to you, not just pretends to, is a wonderful feeling. Introverts are specially adapted to do this, since they process information by thinking about it and really considering it before deciding what to say or do. So even in regular, everyday conversations, introverts always listen carefully before speaking. They also tend to be very empathic so when you do have a problem the response they give is not only well reasoned, it is compassionate.

Introverts generally listen more than they speak and they listen in order to understand, not just to reply. These qualities foster stronger connections between people and lead to healthier, happier relationships.

They Are Careful About What They Say

In a world where people frequently seem to just say whatever they want without thinking and having no sense of responsibility for the effects their words may have on others, this can be one of the most incredible characteristics that you will find in an introvert.

Introverts don’t rush to speak and they don’t speak out of turn. They actually won’t speak at all unless they have something they feel is worth saying. When they do speak, they often don’t go into a lot of detail, which leaves you wanting to know more.

They also give a lot of thought to what they are going to say, and avoid saying negative or critical things about others. Introverts are the last people you will see gossiping.

They Are Self Sufficient

Introverts are not dependent people. They don’t believe in relying on others to take care of their needs. They are reluctant to ask for help unless they’ve tried to solve the problems every way they can think of first.

This self reliance empowers them and gives them the confidence that they can manage whatever life throws at them. This makes people feel very secure and safe around them as they know an introvert will know what to do if an emergency situation arises.

They Know Themselves

Their almost constant introspection helps them get to really know themselves. They know what they like and what they don’t like. They know what they value, their preferences, and what they want in life. This makes them reliable, mature and trustworthy.

They Observe and Notice

Introverts are constantly observing and thinking about the world around them and they often notice things that others miss. An introvert sees possibilities for thinking about things in a different way or coming up with new creative expressions everywhere they look.

Nothing is lost on the introvert. This is why they always seem to know what you want even when you haven’t told them and they anticipate your needs and come up with creative ways to surprise you with things you may have only mentioned once.

They Aren’t Clingy

While introverts often have good social skills social interactions drain them so they will need time by themselves to recharge. This need for time apart can help maintain the desire that people feel for them. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder and time apart can contribute to more meaningful interactions and increased intimacy.

They Are Intrinsically Motivated

Introverts are motivated by internal conviction rather than shallow external motivations that can change from one day to the next. They don’t act strictly for externally delivered reinforcement, but are reinforced by their own internal sense of accomplishment.

And because they also know themselves, they will pursue their dreams and true passions even when it is difficult to do so. They are unlikely to give up unless they have no other choice. As they think out of the box they often come up with unique ways to be able continue working towards their true life desires even when there are obstacles in their path. Being around someone who is self-driven, is motivated by higher values, is passionate about life and living, and who persistently pursues their dreams is alluring and inspiring.

Take Away

While it largely still believed that extroverts are valued over introverts, when it comes to who we perceive as the more attractive of the two personality types, often introverts in this arena. What’s interesting is that the aspects that many believe to sometimes be problematic, are the very ones that also make them attractive to others. And these factors are independent of physical beauty. So while beauty may only be skin deep, the personality characteristics possessed by introverts permeate all the way through. Plus these characteristics don’t fade with age.

Natalie C. Frank has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. She specializes in Pediatric Psychology and Behavioral Medicine. Her collection of poetry, Disguised I Breathe, In Love I Hold, can be found here on Amazon.

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