What I Learned About Life from a Romance Novel

I learned that

“fun is primarily about practicing and learning, not about exercising mastery.” — Raph Koster, Theory of Fun for Game Design

I learned this and many other pearls of wisdom from books, which I currently consider to be my favorite teachers.

My favorite activity to turn into games is writing (and any other work related to creating my books). So the other “players” playing the writing game, in other words, authors of the books I love, are those I follow and learn from by “looking over their shoulders,” or more precisely by reading and re-reading their creations.

My favorite fiction writer is Nora Roberts. I read and re-read many of her books. Below are some quotes from the final chapter of one of her books. They are utterly enlightening, I can see my reflection in them (including that of my fears), and they touch me deeply, every time I read them.

These quotes are from Nora Roberts’ book Vision in White, Book 1 of the “Bride Quartet” series.

The pearls of wisdom in these quotes reflect how life itself deepens the Self-Gamification gameplay loops. I will add a bead of recognition of my own after each of them.

Some things in life are out of your control. You can make it a party or a tragedy.

Or a game.

You could refuse to take the next step. You could refuse to take what you wanted most because you’re afraid some day you might lose it.

You could, but you don’t have to. You have the moment of now to choose what you want most and simply go for it. Because

“in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make.” — Lewis Carroll

I want us to promise to try not to let each other go. Trying is all we can do.

That is what we do in games. We simply try them out. In games, we try again and again until we level up. And then we try and try again on that new level. If you haven’t made that call you wanted to make, to ask for or offer help, there is no better moment to try that “game” or that move in your “game” than now.

Moments matter. I know that better than anyone, but I never let it apply to me. Not to me. People matter, how they feel, how they connect, who they are alone and together. All that matters, no matter how quickly the moment passes. Maybe because it passes.

Isn’t it amazing how we try to hide from the truths that resonate with us? The fear of failure or success often comes in disguise as the thought, “That doesn’t apply to me.” I thought that making videos wasn’t for me, but the Gameful Isolation project and Self-Gamification at its core taught me otherwise.

Yes, each moment is a treasure. As soon as we collected, in other words, observed and experienced it, it is time to be open for the next one. Because it’s already there.

Moments came and went, she thought. It was love that bound them together into a life.

I love this quote, and it couldn’t ring more true than in the current challenging times for all of us. Love embraces honesty, kindness, and being of service to those around us and ourselves.

The text above is an excerpt from my book Gameful Isolation: Making the Best of a Crisis, the Self-Gamification Way (Gameful Life Book 3). I hope you enjoyed it, and it inspired you to be open to finding inspiration in any book you read.

Vision in White, Book 1 of the “Bride Quartet” series Written by Nora Roberts Published among others by Piatkus, an imprint of Little, Brown Book Group (this edition is in the picture above)

A little glossary:

“A Gameplay Loop is a game design term that is used to describe the repetitive activities that a player will take while playing a game. It, essentially, defines what the player DOES while playing.” — Engaged Family Gaming

Self-Gamification: Self-Gamification is the art of turning our own lives into games. It is the application of game design elements to our own lives. Self-Gamification is a self-help approach showing us how to be playful and gameful, and bringing anthropology, kaizen, and gamification-based methods together. In Self-Gamification, we are both the designers and the players of our Self-Motivational Games. Self-Gamification equals approaching life gamefully.

Self-Motivational Game: A real-life project or activity that you adjust in such a way that it feels like a fun game, with which you are eager and happy to engage, both in terms of its design and the playing of it.

— Victoria Ichizli-Bartels (= Itsy Bitsy Bartels = Vica)

P.S. Thank you for reading this article! If you want to learn more about turning life into fun games (in addition to my work here), subscribe to my (occasional = mostly monthly) newsletter, Optimist Writer. For blog posts on turning life into fun games, tick the Optimist Writer’s Blog.

Here is another article about a book that inspired me:

Many more will follow.

About the author:

Victoria is a writer, instructor, and consultant with a background in semiconductor physics, electronic engineering (with a Ph.D.), information technology, and business development. While being a non-gamer, Victoria came up with the term Self-Gamification, a gameful and playful self-help approach bringing anthropology, kaizen, and gamification-based methods together to increase the quality of life. She approaches all areas of her life this way. Due to the fun she has, while turning everything in her life into games, she intends never to stop designing and playing them.