What Happened When I Did Shadow Work on the Twin Flame Journey?
Our fears reflect all the shadow traits we refuse to resolve within ourselves.
Many things in my twin flame triggered me during my twin flame journey. For a long time, I couldn’t see how everything was aimed at removing the deepest and most sabotaging behavior patterns and shadows within me. The main feature of my trigger behavior started with noticing my fears before they got lost under the influence of fear.
During my twin flame journey, I was triggered by everything and couldn’t control my emotions for a long time. It took a long time for many fears that had been building up inside me for a long time and for which I had no idea why to be triggered. But another cycle that lasted longer and that I couldn’t break was being trapped in the same fear cycle. When the fear came, I felt the same difficult emotions again and again, even though I knew why this fear affected me the way it did. So fear was always able to defeat me.
Understanding one’s fears is crucial in the twin flame journey. Because none of these concerns are coincidental. Our fears reflect all the shadow traits we refuse to resolve within ourselves. Our fears are frequently an emotion that we cannot confront, and they are frequently a reflection of traumas that we believe we have left behind. We don’t even know the extent to which many of our traumas have affected us. Some traumas can spread like a virus inside us and force us to do whatever they want. Some traumas shape our personalities.
We often fail to realize that some of the thoughts or behaviors we do not like in ourselves are not a part of our character, but a behavior we have developed to protect ourselves due to our trauma.
In the twin flame journey, I accepted everything I was triggered by as an enemy. And I put everything I was afraid of in small boxes and put them out of reach. I regret doing this because if I had looked at every emotion and every thought that bothered me in each box, I could have de-escalated an important situation for myself..
Some emotions that we have no control over and that we allow to control us become our dominant emotions over time. When we fail to recognize these dominant emotions, our mood drops suddenly during the day, intrusive thoughts interfere while we are happy, and our mood may force us to behave differently than usual.
This has happened to me numerous times throughout my life. Fear and anxiety had taken over as the dominant emotions in my life, and I mistook my character for grumpy, pessimistic, and paranoid. However, my character had exaggerated versions of these emotions. I felt these were parallel characters of mine because I always put my energy into the same emotions.
Yes, I had grumpy behavior from time to time, but I was not a “grumpy” person. I labeled myself as “dissatisfied” and pessimistic because I was disrupting my quality of life and peace when I constantly found things to doubt. But I was focusing on the things that bothered me rather than the happy moments.
Towards the end of 2021, I realized how I was sabotaging myself. But I was so disturbed by what I discovered about myself that I could not accept it, so I continued to ignore everything that suppressed my own potential and disturbed me, and acted as if I “understood” my own shadow. But something kept bothering me because the wake-up call inside me had already started.
I had another great dark night of the soul when I surrendered to my shadow characteristics. All the dust and garbage I had suppressed for years was surfacing in the rooms within me. It was so overwhelming that even writing them down was no longer an option. I had to go through them.
.But there was still a part of me that said I didn’t have to go through all of this. Even when I was about to burst into tears and peel off my entire outer shell, a part of my ego was still alive. Do not be afraid if you have not been able to surrender to your heart for a long time. The ego part of us is our defense mechanism, and it will fight to keep us safe from the negative effects of emotions for as long as we live. Our ultimate goal as human beings with souls is to always have compassion for ourselves. But we can’t be compassionate to ourselves unless we investigate our 3D shell and illusory perceptions.
Get our Twin Flames — The Journey to the Higher Self e-book to guide you on your twin flame journey
Hi, I’m Bensu. I write about the mind, hard feelings, and self-love. Thank you for taking the time to read my article. If this article was useful to you, I would be happy and motivated if you applauded.