What Does It Really Feel Like To Be Cheated On?

Betrayal is not for the faint-hearted.

Ever since my experience being the ‘other woman’ many moons ago, I have often wondered about the damage my actions caused to the wife of the man I was sleeping with.

As an empathetic person, I care about other people’s feelings. I will try and place myself in other people’s shoes. I also have a conscience that nags me with guilt for my most regrettable decisions in life.

I am human — and I have made mistakes that delivered ugly consequences.

Now that I’m married and have my own family, I often wonder what it would feel like to be betrayed by my partner through an affair. What would I do? Would I leave my husband? Would I stay?

What would it be like to imagine my husband touching someone else, kissing someone else — having sex with someone else? What would it be like to know that my husband had told someone else he loved them or to hear that he had told someone else he was not happy with me — whether that was the actual truth or not?

I’m not sure how anyone could cope with that kind of betrayal.

However, people do cope with this kind of thing — and the wife of the man I had the affair with undoubtedly went through absolute hell thinking about all of the scenarios her husband had acted in with multiple women as a serial cheater. She went through it many, many times before me and most likely after me, too.

I recently wrote an article about what my husband said he would do if I ever cheated on him. In that piece, I tried to reconcile what my reaction would be to him having an affair, as well.

I know in my heart that if I ever found out my husband had even kissed someone else — much less had sex with them — that I would have great difficulty NOT imagining that every time I looked at him.

I think I might be able to forgive — but how on earth could I forget? How do those who have been betrayed in this manner put these images out of their minds?

How does one ‘move on’ from knowing that their partner has run their fingers across someone else’s cheek whispering sweet nothings or that they have laid in bed laughing with someone else after making love with them?

Betrayal is not for the faint-hearted. You can understand how those who have been scorned in this manner become jaded and bitter over time, struggling just to trust another person again.

Perhaps, in the end, it’s just something people come to accept about life — that sometimes ignorantly cruel actions are inflicted upon us — quite often by the people whom we trust most in the world.

That’s the thing about love. We want to trust the people we adore. We have decided that they are worthy of our trust because we love them. However, human beings are not safety deposit boxes for the heart. Putting your heart into the hands of someone else doesn’t necessarily mean that it will stay there, safe and intact for however long you leave it there.

People often make mistakes — big ones. They don’t always understand the level of pain they may have caused someone else through their actions, either.

Degrees of betrayal can vary from person to person. What I may think is a massive betrayal might seem minimal to someone else.

For instance, certain people may not think that an accidental kiss with someone else means much but the person they're in a relationship with may feel as though their world has just been capsized by this indiscretion.

In the end, I can safely say that I don’t ever want to feel the sting of betrayal from my partner, whether it’s a kiss or a full-blown affair — nor do I want to inflict that kind of pain upon him or anyone else.

Knowing that I was an integral piece of an affair that shattered someone else’s life for a time is enough of a deterrent to both keep me vigilant of my own behavior and humble enough to honor the lessons of my past.

If you’re interested in becoming a Medium member for $5 a month, join through my referral link here & I’ll take a cut of the profits! Thank you!

More…