Sex/Relationships

My Husband’s Vasectomy Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Our Sex Life

It was time for him to take one for the team.

It’s hard for me to believe that there are husbands or male partners out there who have decided that they don’t want any more children (or any at all) yet they refuse to get a vasectomy while continuing to engage in sexual intercourse with their female partners.

I have known a few women who became unexpectedly pregnant later in life after their other children were already grown because their husbands refused to get a vasectomy. Happy accidents, as many people refer to them.

When I hear these stories, my first thought is usually, hello? birth control? Then, I think, what an inconsiderate person to make his wife/partner bear all of the birth control responsibility when he could just get a vasectomy.

Starting the whole parenting thing all over again after you’ve already raised your other children sounds beyond exhausting to me — especially if you weren’t ‘technically’ planning on it.

After my husband and I had our daughter together (we also had his son from another relationship) we both decided that neither of us wanted any more children. What to do next seemed like an easy step to me. My husband would get a vasectomy. That was it.

I knew that I was done with all of the years spent on birth control pills which caused killer headaches and triggered my weight to fluctuate dramatically. I wasn’t interested in getting an IUD or a shot, either. Diaphragms weren’t appealing to me — plus they’re only moderately effective with a one-year failure rate of around 12 percent. As far as condoms go, we would use them but my husband hated them with a passion. I have to admit, condoms can suck.

Ultimately, it seemed as though it was my husband’s turn to take one for the team, so to speak.

The whole birthing process was extremely traumatic for my body and I had a fairly lengthy recovery. I felt as though it was time for me to take a permanent break from worrying about anything to do with preventing future pregnancies.

Constantly being responsible about birth control while also attempting to have a satisfying sex life isn’t easy for a woman. In fact, it can be a real sexual buzzkill.

Enter the vasectomy. A vasectomy is a surgical procedure for male sterilization or permanent contraception. It blocks sperm from getting to a man’s semen when he ejaculates. With no sperm leaving his body, a man can’t get someone pregnant. He can still have an orgasm and ejaculate. The procedure takes about 30 min and the male patient can go home afterward and be fully recovered within a week. For more on the details of the procedure, you can click here.

I’ll be honest. My husband was indeed traumatized by the vasectomy procedure. But, in the end, he was fine. After a couple of days with frozen peas on his crotch and all was well. It was still a bit tender when we had sex and when he ejaculated for a couple of weeks.

It was terrifying at first to have unprotected sex together after toiling away at preventing pregnancy for so long. However, after a time, having such a free, uninhibited sexual experience without the fear of pregnancy was sublime.

My husband’s vasectomy absolutely changed our sex life. I had signifigantly less stress and anxiety which helped me get to enjoy sex on a whole new level.

Additionally, my husband didn’t have to deal with condoms anymore, so it was a win/win situation in my opinion. I think my husband would agree. He still winces remembering the vasectomy procedure but, in the end, I think he’s extremely satisfied with how the vasectomy ultimately changed our sex life for the better.

To me, the idea of a man protesting a 30 min procedure that may cause some uncomfortable soreness for a few days is ludicrous compared the physical trials women deal with throughout their lifetimes

For a woman to prevent getting pregnant with the birth control pill, she has to deal with the possible side effects of spotting, headaches, breast tenderness, nausea, decreased libido, significant weight gain, or even more dangerous side effects such as heart attack, high blood pressure, blood clots, and stroke.

Then there are IUDs which are inserted through a woman’s cervix and into her uterus which may produce severe pain, bleeding, irregular periods, and the risk of serious complications.

I could go on, but I’m hoping my point is clear. For a man to refuse to get a vasectomy just because he fears it might be painful can seem quite silly to a woman.

I think some people might say that because of all the painful experiences women naturally go through such as menstrual cycles, pregnancies, and birthing it could be easy to assume that they have a higher threshold for pain than men do which — even if that were true — is still not a reason for a man to refuse a simple procedure that will undoubtedly take the stress off both partners in the bedroom.

I have heard rumblings of a male birth control pill being tested but I’m not sure if that has come closer to fruition as of late. Until then, the vasectomy route is both safe and effective for a man.

My husband’s vasectomy freed our languishing sex life from its cage. I highly recommend it if you’re a couple and you are mutually not interested in having any or more children.

If your male partner is resisting undergoing this procedure, you might want to have a talk with him about how much stress a vasectomy would take away from you sexually — how much of a burden would be lifted from your shoulders.

There has only ever been one case of death after vasectomy reported in the medical literature — just saying.

More…