What Does a Canadian/American Look Like?

And One Other Question that Shouldn’t Be Asked on a Date.

Here are two dating questions that I don’t like. And there might be two reasons why they ask. The first one is: where are you from? It’s evident that they haven’t read my profile or that they are scammers. But for this article, I want to focus on those that haven’t. However, I did write another article How to Spot a Romance Scammer. And find real love online. | by Christina Szeman | Readers Hope | Sep, 2021 | Medium.

I was born and raised and still live in my hometown here in Canada. So that’s my answer to those men who are curious. But then the date responds with this, “You don’t look like you’re from (Whatever city)?”

So what does a Canadian, or even an American look like? I wish that I could ask that question to them.

But, I reluctantly say that both of my parents were born in Hungarian. Then the response that I got from some guys was something to the effect of, I thought so. Then they ask me “Do you speak Hungarian?”

I answer, “A little bit.”

I don’t particularly appreciate being singled out because I don’t look a certain way. First, I consider myself a Canadian first because I was born here. Second, I cannot identify or relate to all of my relatives in Hungary because I can’t read or write in their language. Third, to my knowledge, there isn’t a class to learn to speak Hungarian in Canada. And my parents never taught me how to read and write in their first language. So being Hungarian is the last thing that I consider myself as.

Here’s My History As to Why I Feel This Way.

I know that most people in my shoes would be proud of their ethnic background, but I am not. Here’s why.

When I was born, my parents and my brother spoke a combination of English and Hungarian at home. I thought that it was normal. I even spoke Hunglish in the same sentence I was a toddler. For example, I would say something like, “Go (In English) Out (In Hungarian).”

I didn’t think that it was a problem until I started school. Then, of course, I had to go from doctor to whatever child psychologist there was because the teachers thought there was something wrong with me (It turns out that as an adult, I was diagnosed with ADHD).

In regards to the language issue, my Grade Two teacher gave my parents an ultimatum. That I should speak one language at school and the other at home. So I ended up speaking English at school and Hunglish at home, but more geared towards English in both.

The other thing was the feeling that I was the only kid in my school (My brother felt this too) whose parents were not native English speakers. Otherwise, I was never proud to be a Hungarian-Canadian.

Hungarian is not the most popular language that anyone wants to learn. The most popular ones are English, French, Italian, Spanish, Russian, Japanese, and any of the Chinese languages.

So What Does a Canadian/American Look Like?

They say that the U.S. is the melting pot while Canada is a multicultural society. So there is no specific face shape that is Canadian or American.

If a guy doesn’t believe it when I answer where I am from, I wish I would have asked them what a Canadian looks like to you. Because to me, there is no specific look. No facial structure or anything like that. Everyone looks different no matter where you were born.

I find the question of “where are you from?” and the response “You don’t look like you’re from (Whatever city)” quite alienating to tell you the truth. But that is not the only question that does that to me. Here’s another one that makes me want to cry.

Why have you never been married? You’re So Beautiful.

The truth is that beauty has nothing to do with being married or single. There are other factors at play. Plus, I am not the only person in their 40s who has never been married. The few guys who asked this were most likely married young for 10 or 20 years until they divorced or became widowers. They expect most singles in their 40s or 50s to have the same life events happen to them. But that is not the case.

This question makes me want to cry and tell them, thank you very much for reminding me of how lonely I am.

I don’t understand why people don’t know how to be in someone else’s shoes. Not everyone goes through the same life stages at the same time.

Plus, no matter where you go in the world, not everyone has the same facial bone structure that is distinct. Everyone is different, no matter where one was born.