Inspiration

What Bothers Me as a Writer

An Introduction

My name’s Lawson Wallace. I’m a sixty-one-year-old son of an AirForce enlisted man. Our family traveled all over the States while I was growing up. My favorite place was Yokota AirForce Base in Fussa Japan where I graduated from high school.

I'm a Late Bloomer

I didn’t start writing until I was in my early fifties. I have learned a lot in the two years I have been writing on illumination and Illumination Mirror. I have benefited from the help and guidance I have received from my fellow writers. I have also benefited from the help of the editors of those awesome publications.

I wrack my brain coming up with Ideas

Writing for Medium publications is fun, but there are still things that bother me. My major pain point is: Finding content to write about. This has been especially difficult this year.

Living in the sticks is boring

I no longer have a car and I have no access to mass transit, so it makes it difficult to get out and find things to write about. I compensate for this by accessing my memories.

The downside of using memories is that not all memories are good memories. The upside is that venting those memories is cathartic.

The benefits of sharing memories are, it elicits more responses from readers. It is gratifying to get many kind and not-so-kind responses.

At one time I was afraid to get too deep

At one time I was afraid of angry responses, but I crossed that bridge. Now I find the angry responses hilarious.

The funny thing is, I wouldn’t have been able to write what I write now a few years ago. My confidence has grown so much.

I have more peace of mind now. I no longer carry poison inside of me. I spend a few hours, sometimes a whole day, pouring my hurt and anger into my laptop.

By doing this, I’m a lot easier to live with. I don’t take things that have nothing to do with her out on my wife. I know she appreciates that.

Life is good

Life as a writer is good, but there are still things that I struggle with. For one thing, I can’t write in peace. I live in a one-bedroom apartment and I have a wife. There’s not a day that has gone by where I have had an uninterrupted writing session.

I can’t make my wife understand the importance of concentration and focus for a writer. She doesn’t get it. Writing this article, for example, has been a major challenge.

Never underestimate a wife’s cravings

She wanted to order pizza and wings. I never knew how important and earth-shaking this occasion was. In her mind, it’s more important than writing.

The challenges have changed, but the goal is the same

If someone one would have asked me ten years ago, what my challenges as a writer were. My answers would have been different. I would have written about my lack of self-confidence and my fear of ridicule and criticism.

I would have complained about my poor grammar skills and my silly spelling mistakes.

After dealing with Learning Disabilities and mental health issues my whole life. I have struggled with a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem.

I Love these publications

Writing for Illumination and Illumination’s Mirror has opened a new world for me. I will be a successful writer. A few short years ago, I thought I was a hobbyist. Now I know that I’m a writer, and I thank Medium and Illumination for bringing out that self-confidence.

I know many writers aspire to fame and fortune. Of course, I would not run from that, but I am happy that people read my writing and feel something.

I want to be a good writer

Isaac Asimov, the late scientist, and writer said. “I try only to write clearly.” That’s what I want. I want to write clearly and be understood and give value to the reader.

Writing for Illumination and Illumination’s Mirror has given me that opportunity.

Getting out and finding Inspiration

As the weather improves and more businesses and venues reopen. When the country recovers from the pandemic, I intend to get out more and find inspiration for short stories and articles.

I find inspiration in overheard conversations and by people watching. These activities are hard to do when I’m stuck in my apartment.

I still find things to write about

Even with these issues, I still find things to write about regularly. When I’m stumped and feeling blocked, I go for a long walk or go outside and stand still for a minute and rest my mind.

Often when I do this. I will have to stop and take my phone from my pocket and then open a notebook application and type an idea for an article.

Resistance is real

In the book “The War of Art.” Steven Pressfield talks about Resistance. I fight Resistance every time I set in front of my laptop to write.

I grit my teeth and do the work I’m constantly interrupted. I am not allowed to focus at all, but I get the job done.

In some ways, the constant interruptions help me. I have noticed that with practice. It’s easier to get back in the writing groove after I’m interrupted.

There was a time not too long ago, after an interruption, I would stare at the screen for several minutes lost, not knowing where I was going when I looked at the unfinished sentence or paragraph.

I need a life

My complaint about writing, and it’s a lame complaint at that. Life gets in the way of writing, but that doesn’t make sense. It’s hard to be a good writer unless you live a life to have something to write.

I struggle with finding time to sit down and write without distractions. I also suffer from bouts of Imposter Syndrome, “You call yourself a writer?” A voice I hear in my head all the time.

I hang in there and keep writing and improving. I know in my heart that I will get to where I want to be.

I want to produce work I am proud of

I want to be a writer whose work gets a reaction, good or bad, so long as the writing moves people. I want to produce work I can be proud of, and I have done that.

Thank you to my fellow writers and the editors

If I never make a dime from my writing, I will still be content knowing that I became the best writer I could be. I owe Medium, Illumination, and Illumination’s Mirror. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to realize my dream of being a writer.

My Writer’s profile:

Five stories that Received the most views:

In this article, I talk about being bored with being on disability and how I planned on producing more content on Medium

This article is about an incident I witnessed on a park bench by the homeless shelter I was staying at.

Family issues were on my mind when I wrote this. I forgave, and I wish others would do the same.

My family lived in Japan for a number of years. Japanese Bath Houses are awesome.

My wife and I heard the shots. We had just come home from a walk. If we would have arrived a few minutes later, we would have been caught in the crossfire.