The Daily Write

We’re All A Little Lost

We Just May Not Realise It…

June writing challenge Day 7 prompt: A story about a lost boy or girl

As a therapist, I’ve worked with lots of different people over the years, and something that often comes up is how beliefs or safety behaviours established in childhood continue to influence them as an adult, often several years later.

This isn’t necessarily due to adverse childhood experiences, or trauma, but these behaviours can lead to increased anxiety, lack of confidence or belief in themselves. They simply don’t feel good enough.

When we are children we are like sponges, we absorb so much information. We observe, copy & imitate the behaviours of others, we begin to establish cultural beliefs & values instilled through our caregivers.

For a child who may be fearful at home, they may learn to adapt their behaviour to avoid attention being given to them. Other children may be hushed or ignored, or their own voice isn’t allowed to be heard.

When children are not loved unconditionally or do not feel safe enough to be themselves, their own self-identity can become lost. They adapt who they are to survive, to get through with the least amount of backlash possible.

Then, as adults, these automatic responses & behaviours remain, sitting just below their awareness. They surface every now & again in response to things — maybe they need to placate an angry person, or maybe it shows up through the lack of confidence that they feel in any given situation.

Often they’re not sure why they feel or behave the way that they do — they don’t get why they don’t feel good enough or why they feel constantly worried.

Through therapy, we get to explore these experiences, make these connections and in time heal that wounded inner child. It’s an amazing thing.

When I went to therapy I didn’t have a clue why I felt or reacted certain ways in some situations or relationships. It was a complete revelation for me.

I was able to find my lost inner child, to nourish her feelings of not being enough & understand why my light remained dimmed even as an adult, and why the approval of others mattered so much to me.

Whilst I’ve not nailed it completely, I get it & that’s enabled me to grow into who I am today — stronger than I was before & more confident in who I am as a person 💚

Lynsey x

KEY MESSAGE: We can all get a bit lost in our lives with having to fit into the ideals of others, but take time to listen to what your own voice is saying & remember that you are more than good enough just as you are.

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