MONEY

Want To Buy Me a Cup of Coffee?

I Didn’t Think So

As every Medium writer knows, the point of being a creative writer is money.

Getting some, and then getting even more, and then getting buckets more, until you’re driving your new Tesla to the marina where your yacht lives so you can boat over to your second home on a remote island.

So how does a writer achieve this goal?

We could achieve it by writing work that is so outstanding that publishers will fight with each other to offer us lucrative book contracts.

Or? We can beg for cash.

Many Medium Writers seek to augment the pennies that are pouring in for their Medium Masterpieces by adding a link to the bottom of each post, asking readers to buy them a cup of coffee.

Does this even work? Has anybody in the history of Medium ever bought another writer a latte in this fashion?

I mean, why on earth would they? It involves being detoured to a website and using their credit card, which will then lead to their receiving endless spam, and probably having all their data sucked up.

Why would you risk that? Just to encourage a writer to think that their work is worth more than the two cents they’ve already earned from the fact that you just spent two minutes reading it?

I can’t help but wonder whether there was any chance that this tiny cash grab actually works.

So? I figured I’d conduct an experiment.

I created a Ko-Fi page for myself.

Look at that photo. Doesn’t it make you want to get out your wallet and subsidize my existence?

No? Well everyone knows you’re a tightwad.

But what about my other, kinder, more generous readers?

Readers who have been longing for a way to let me know how much they cherish my essays. Whose lives have been changed forever by posts like this humor piece about Silly Turtle names:

Can I count on them to throw money at me?

Let’s find out! I’m adding this line to the bio that appears after everything I write on Medium:

Buy Roz a cup of coffee here.

Will the inclusion of this plea for spare change prevent my Medium Masterpieces from being curated?

Of course!

But I’m willing to risk that for the sake of the experiment. (Plus? My stuff is almost never curated.)

I currently have 4,200 followers on Medium.

4,200 brilliant, insightful, generous readers.

You’d think that one of them would choose to throw three dollars at me.

You’d probably be wrong.

But we’ll see!

My prediction?

Nobody will buy me a cup of coffee, ever.

Why should they?

They’re all too busy cruising around on their yachts.

*

Update: Want to know how this experiment came out? Read the results here:

Writing Coach Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times, can help you improve and publish your work. Drop her a line at [email protected]. (That’s ros with an “S,” not a “Z.”)