Unravel that Rude Inner Voice and Step Towards a Judgment-Free Life
When I stopped judging others is when I stopped judging myself
My life nowadays is generally judgment-free. I try to do my best to not judge others and in return, I find my inner voice has become kinder and calmer over the years.
It wasn’t always this way.
When I was young and naive, I was unfortunately quite egotistical, self-centred and judgmental. In today’s world, one might even say narcissistic.
At the time, I had no idea that I was walking around like a covert mean girl. I wasn’t technically saying rude things out loud – I had that much self-control – but ugly judgments certainly dominated my thoughts.
Guess what? When I judged that woman for carrying too much weight, I also judged myself for the pounds I couldn’t lose. When I judged that man for showing off too much, I also judged myself for trying too hard.
My world was dominated by “not good enough” – for myself and for others.
The bottom line: My judgments were a cover-up for my insecurities.
Unraveling the Insecurity
When I look back, I’m honestly not sure if it was a chicken or egg situation. Did I stop judging myself first which led to less judgment of others? Or was it the other way around?
Either way it doesn’t matter.
The important part is this:
If your inner voice is rude, it’s time to explore why.
The rudeness is impossible to be one-sided. If your inner thoughts are mean towards others, they will be mean towards yourself. Most often it’s because of something we’re insecure about within ourselves.
Where do you feel insecure?
I know it’s hard to touch that subject. But I promise that the more you question and explore your insecurities, the sooner you can let go of them forever.
Start Here
Once you know where you feel insecure, it’s time to do something about it. And it all starts with your inner voice.
It was actually my coach training that started me on the journey of reprogramming my inner voice.
I can boil it down to these 3 steps:
- Start becoming aware of your inner voice. Is it kind? Mean? Calm? Frenzied? Judgmental?
- Practice ignoring or setting aside your inner voice for minutes at a time. This is a crucial skill as a coach, but really it’s the most important part of being a good listener. It allows you to be more present in the moment.
- Set an intention for that inner voice. For example, my intention is to have kind and calm thoughts. Write your intention down – and if you’re really serious about it, post it somewhere visible like your fridge or mirror.
This Process Takes Time
As with most things in life, changing old habits takes time. But, if you are serious about your intention and you do your best to be aware of your progress, I promise you will get there.
When I stopped judging others is when I stopped judging myself.
It’s beautiful to live a life that’s judgment-free. You make more room for joy, curiosity, love, hope and wisdom.
I hope you can enjoy a more judgment-free tomorrow.
With love, Megan
A well-deserved shout-out to my friend Delia Pena-Gay. From the moment we started chatting, I knew you have a beautiful and friendly soul. I recommend everyone to check out her work — she’s an amazing person. She also happens to be a part of our Modern Women publication team ❤️
Are you a woman craving support from other women? I just launched a Free Women’s Circle every other Wednesday virtually on Zoom. Come join us:
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