How to Fall in Love with the Human Race Again

Are you feeling a little jaded about the world?

I think we can all agree that this world has many aspects we are not a fan of — corruption, famine, poverty, war, a never-ending pandemic, you name it. It’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole of feeling disenfranchised and skeptical of the goodness of the human race.

I have a 3-year-old daughter. And in these past three years, I’ve had many moments of despair when I think about the world she will grow up in. Yet, living in this zone starts to become detrimental when you’re in it for too long.

We are Human

I will always remember this quote from Brené Brown (she’s the gal who talks a lot about vulnerability):

“Everyone has a story or a struggle that will break your heart. And, if we’re really paying attention, most people have a story that will bring us to our knees.” — Brené Brown

When I first read that quote, it hit me deep, soulfully deep. At that moment I recognized the infinite truth of it and from that day, I looked at the world differently. Let me share how.

Looks are Deceiving

I used to be vain in my 20’s. I would walk down the street and judge others on petty things — her hair looks awful today, he looks haggard, she doesn’t seem friendly at all.

It was all superficial and appearance-related. I wasn’t actively trying to judge people, but these are the thoughts that would float through my head amongst my own insecurities.

The reality is, I knew absolutely nothing about these people.

• Perhaps the woman with awful hair woke up today and found out someone close to her died
• The haggard-looking man? Well, maybe he just got laid off from his job
• The unfriendly woman? She could have grown up in an abusive home and has a hard time trusting others

If you stop at the surface level, you will sadly miss out on what makes us human. It’s not our hair, clothing or accessories. It’s our precious souls and the stories we carry close to our hearts. The hardships and triumphs and struggles that make up the fabric of who we are at our core.

The next time you walk down the street, get curious. When you pass by another, imagine what might possibly be that person’s story.

Even better, strike up a conversation with a fellow human that you may not normally talk to.

I once sat beside a homeless man outside a McDonald’s in Santa Monica, Los Angeles. He was likely in his 30’s. I spent 15 minutes talking to him and about his story.

He just recently got out of jail for assault. The person he assaulted was someone who was hurting his sister. The more I listened to his story, the more I could see how his path had unfolded. His violence wasn’t okay, but I could also understand what may have driven him to it.

Listening to his story touched my life, the same way that I know that a total stranger who saw him as a fellow human, touched his life too. Your ability to see others goes a long way.

Differences are Okay

We will always find something to disagree about. If you pick any one of your family members, I know there will be something that you won’t see eye-to-eye on.

It’s easy to confine yourself to the zone of ‘being right’. We love being right. Unfortunately being right is a competition — there will be a winner and there will be a loser.

“Our addiction to always being right is a great block to the truth. It keeps us from the kind of openness that comes from confidence in our natural wisdom.” — Stephen Levine

There are seasons in my life when I spend a good amount of time being angry at people who believe differently from me. Why can’t you see that the rainforests need saving? Why do you believe that it’s okay to hurt others? Why do you condemn an entire group of people based on their skin colour?

It’s easy to get really torn up about certain societal issues and fundamental beliefs. And there are times when this anger is warranted to create real change in this world.

Yet, if you live there for too long, you start to demonize certain groups of people for believing differently than you — isn’t this similar to what we are mad at them for doing in the first place?

Love is a beautifully complex and fundamentally indescribable feeling and state. To fall in love with the human race is to fall in love with differences. It’s to allow for each and every one of us to have our own experience.

It doesn’t mean we agree with it or condone it, but to love that we can each have our own path, even if that means stumbling or getting lost along the way.

We All Need Love

I truly believe that every single human on this planet needs love. It’s a need — not a want, nice-to-have or optional craving.

“In our pursuit of the need to be loved, however, most of us fail to recognize that we have a parallel need: the need to love and care for others. This desire, it turns out, is just as strong as the need to be loved and nurtured.” — Raj Raghunathan Ph.D., PsychologyToday.com

Perhaps the humans in the world that commit great atrocities grew up believing that love was not for them. They have tragically strayed from the path that was meant for all of us — to love and be loved. I don’t know why or how, but I do know that they still deserve our love.

We can still love people and disagree with them. We can still love people and cry over their ‘sins’. We can still love people even though we believe there would be a better path for them.

To shut out anyone in this world is to commit the same atrocity that we would condemn them for.

I’m not saying that what they do is okay, it’s not. I’m also not saying you need to hug them or spend time with them or praise them. Not at all. But, they are still a human who may have come from a dark path. They are lost, and they still deserve our love.

Can you find a little love in your heart for our fellow humans who may be lost, misguided or broken? After all, they do have a life story that would bring you to your knees.

Final Thoughts

I hope I can inspire you to look at your fellow humans with a little more love. In summary:

• Look past appearances and get curious about the deeper stories of your fellow humans.
• Remember that differences are okay. It doesn’t mean you agree or condone them, but they are a natural part of our human experience.
• Love is a need. Have you been withholding your love towards your fellow humans? What would it look like to open up again to love?

What I’m suggesting is not easy. It’s not easy to fall in love with the human race right now. There are a lot of tragedies happening all around us. The world does need to change. We do need to do better as a human race.

What will get us there though? Pointing fingers, separation and condemnation? Or a little more understanding, belief and love?

I don’t know exactly. But what I do know is that spending time in love feels a whole lot better than spending time in hate.

“Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is an unalterable law.” — Buddha

With love, Megan