Humor

Two Men Fighting over a Throne. Female Action Needed Badly.

Humorous writing. Can I do it? Well, guys, don’t tease the female lions. We might just stop being placid.

Humorous writing has a home: ILLUMINATION. And this home has many inhabitants. Writers, readers, and one-time-visitors. More than 14,566 people follow, click on stories, and devour the yummy soul food inside.

But now there’s Trouble in Paradise.

Charles Roast started it. Chuckie. Always one for shaking things up. For creating a challenge. For tickling the sensitive ones where they don’t wanna be touched.

Short and sweet summary: Chuck declares himself King of the Pack and suggests we challenge 5 of our quiet readers/writers to write a humorous piece.

The aim? He is just mad about being left out of some lists Dr Mehmet Yildiz did in one of his stories. And of course, he wants to make himself look generous. So he says it’s about getting the quiet people involved in our fun as well.

“And with ILLUMINATION, we know they will get published, read, clapped and commented on. What better encouragement for someone to throw the covers off their heads, get out of bed, and write! You cannot be a writer if you do not write. And ILLUMINATION is the best spot because it is safe and friendly and supportive” — Chuck Roast

And who took up the challenge, you think?

Rasheed Hooda of course. Mr. Weirdo is back at the Center of Attention. He can’t resist the limelight. Wants to topple Kim Kardashian as an influencer if he ever gets his foot (size something big, I bet…) in the door.

Not wanting to be left out, Rasheed dethrones Chuck and challenges others to try and do better. Honorable mention: ME. Why me? I just wrote a story about not wanting to be boring. Wanting to be entertaining. And this is what I get.

A sneer.

A growl.

A challenge.

Well, guys, don’t tickle the female lion when she’s having her own fun. In her own way. Not wanting to play. Just chilling on a branch, doing her yoga. Trying not to fall off AND look lady-like at the same time. That’s not easy, you know. We need concentration for that. And you just spoiled the focus.

MEN!

They always tease you when you’re bloody serious about something. I feel the anger coming up. Reddening my cheeks the same color of the red caravan I mentioned in the being-boring-story.

ROAR…

We have teeth, you know. I’m not lovey-dovey all the time so you can make fun of me without getting bitten in your back bottoms.

Women and girls, whether you’re writing for ILLUMINATION or not yet, let’s take up this challenge and write some killer pieces that’ll make them grey. Not only their hair but their laughing faces as well.

Cheekie bastards!

They both deserve to be dethroned on the humorous front.

I will choose a very lady-like crown for my crowning ceremony. A tiara. This one with lots of diamonds will make my hair shine and will enhance the green color of my eyes.

I’ve always been into diamonds, you know. If I can’t wear diamonds one day, my day is ruined and I just can’t breathe. Not even a small yoga breath enters my lungs. So I need diamonds, diamonds, diamonds. It’s just a basic need for me. I can’t help it…

Face it, guys, you can never, ever, ever win from a group of females rising up to their full power. Get on your knees now that you still have ’em and watch this space.

Sisters, your fierce and funny pen is wanted here!

If you want to stick your head under the covers and wait this one out. All okay. But remember Pippi Longstocking:

“I’ve never tried it before. So, yes, I think I can do it!”

— Pippi, free after Astrid Lindgren

I’m tagging 5 women in the list of my followers I’ve never heard of before. I will read your work soon, I promise. Sorry if you’re already famous and I just didn’t notice. I presume I was just too busy being serious before the men tickled me… Claudia Stack Pamina Victoria Joanna Mueller Cheryl Amy Hollander Janet Low.

And I’m tagging 5 better-known ones to me that might rise up to the challenge and stand tall with me. We can’t let the guys have all the fun without us. Can we, girls? Sherry McGuinn Elisabeth Khan Charlotte Zobeir Ali Sharon Hurley Hall Amy Marley.

And you top writers #2–20? Grab a name or two from your followers and tag them on your next article and ask them to write something and tag you back. Then when they do, comment and encourage. I am sure we will find some glorious writers out there. — Chuck Roast

Please tag me, I don’t want to miss one snippet of the fun!

And if you want to connect, you can find me on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or my website. Or somewhere in nature sitting on a branch looking lady-like and not trying to fall off…

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