Treating my Partner like my Hubby

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Abstract

9de">When I decided not to give a fuck anymore, that translated into all relationships, friends, family, marriage, and yes, affair partners.</p><p id="3d8e">So I started treating the person I wanted to FUCK the same way I treated my husband.</p><h2 id="934f">Get in the ring</h2><p id="6340">Yes, I pick fights with my husband. And I did the same with the men I chatted to. When someone says something I don’t like or tries to say, I’m wrong (even if I am wrong). I can lose my shit. I’ve lost men because of that.</p><h2 id="5b3a">Are we there yet?</h2><p id="a6e2"><i>Do you know yet? Do you have the answer? How come you don’t know? I have a life too, you know. </i>So when I’m pushy with my husband, he doesn’t like it. He hates that I ask the same question over and over. I do it anyway. Remember that I decided not to give a fuck anymore. So when I’m impatient with the person on the other side of the chat, do they deserve it? Does anyone?</p><h2 id="f62b">Guess what number I’m thinking</h2><p id="a871">This one is fun. After being together for over twenty years, my husband still can’t read my mind. AMAZING. You’d think that he would have learned that in the early years. Better yet, a man across the electronic world can read my mind thru the words typed in a short message in Telegram.</p><h2 id="b34c">I’m FINE</h2><p id="5b11">So I use these words with my hubby, and he KNOWS to back the fuck off. I’m sure the man in the conversation with me does the same with his spouse. So why use OKAY and FINE in a conversation with them? I’m sure it screams RED ALERT!🚨 It’s a trap!</p><h2 id="fb5c">The truth shall set you free</h2><p id="6240">So you and your spouse know everything about each other (well, not everything), but that wasn’t always the case. You asked lots and talked long into the night when you first got together. You can ask questions of the potential AP, but will they answer? Maybe. It depends on who they are or how private they are. Some people will tell you their life stories. Others don’t even want to tell you their last name. Understandable.</p><h2 id="dcd1">Ultimatums</h2><p id="350c">Yup. C

Options

onversation killer. Every. Time. For both your marriage and affairs. When it’s a hard line, there is no way to get across that line. It’s all or nothing, so for your affair, that usually turns into nothing. Be prepared if they walk.</p><h2 id="c395">What matters the most</h2><p id="0466">If you need something, share it. If you want something, share it because neither your husband nor your affair partners are: mind readers, champion boxers, omniscient, judges, nor referees.</p><p id="20b5" type="7">We’re all human. So try to remember he’s not your husband; you’re not his wife. Get what you NEED and hopefully what you want, and have fun between the sheets.</p><p id="ddb9">I’m trying to let go of my expectations and have fun. It’s hard, but I can do it.</p><p id="f7f1">Everyone is happy when Clara is happy.</p><div id="e9c2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-i-demand-in-an-affair-partner-87dd8c70c1f6"> <div> <div> <h2>What I Demand In An Affair Partner</h2> <div><h3>It’s not as simple as you think</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*R9jEGKSVzd-X3hfGeio08g.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="a210"><b>What I need out of all this cheating. Am I right? Am I wrong?</b></p><div id="9d61" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/who-came-first-8aa12b5523ca"> <div> <div> <h2>Who Came First?</h2> <div><h3>Well, I did, of course. But here’s a reading order of my articles to date.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*qTIFCpEJitv-11vE)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="c8d5"><b>The reading order of all…</b></p></article></body>

Are they all apples fallen from the same tree?

So I realized that my affair partner is not my husband.

Many things can happen when you’re with someone for a long time. Some of the choices: Make your marriage stronger. End it and put you both out of your misery. Ignore each other, fight and tiptoe around each other. Have an open relationship.

There are so many possibilities. You build on a lifetime of talking and thinking.

Someone you just met online? You don’t know what makes them tick. What is the trigger that causes potential partners to walk away? What makes them fight. Or keep quiet not to cause an argument. This logic applies to everyone, not just your affair partner.

Life is hard, and people get hurt. People hurt others with their actions and words. Sometimes unintentional, but it’s still painful.

Early in my marriage, I didn’t know how to fight. I didn’t. Does twenty-something-year-olds newly married know how? We hurt each other. I started shutting down. I wouldn’t talk about anything that was difficult. If I didn’t get enough attention, I didn’t say anything. I just turned away if I didn’t want sex instead of explaining why.

As I grew wiser, finding my voice became easier. I could say what I wanted, what I needed. And I did. The result is disbelief and arguments from the person who is supposed to listen. SO I GAVE UP.

I did. I gave up.

I created a prison of my own making, made of sadness, tears, and regret. I sat in that cell for three years — all on my own.

So how does that affect this story?

When I decided not to give a fuck anymore, that translated into all relationships, friends, family, marriage, and yes, affair partners.

So I started treating the person I wanted to FUCK the same way I treated my husband.

Are we there yet?

Do you know yet? Do you have the answer? How come you don’t know? I have a life too, you know. So when I’m pushy with my husband, he doesn’t like it. He hates that I ask the same question over and over. I do it anyway. Remember that I decided not to give a fuck anymore. So when I’m impatient with the person on the other side of the chat, do they deserve it? Does anyone?

The truth shall set you free

So you and your spouse know everything about each other (well, not everything), but that wasn’t always the case. You asked lots and talked long into the night when you first got together. You can ask questions of the potential AP, but will they answer? Maybe. It depends on who they are or how private they are. Some people will tell you their life stories. Others don’t even want to tell you their last name. Understandable.