LGBTQAI+
Trans Rant: Transphobe Troll Throwback
RantFest 2022
CW: Transphobic megadouchery!
Just Calm the F Down, Hun!
I don’t understand why people get so angry and offended when others choose to live their lives without shame or apology and have the courage to share their journey. For me, I started sharing my journey as it began because there was a clear lack of resources and people with whom I could connect with to help me traverse my own experience when I needed it most. I shared because maybe, it would help someone else out there. Someone, like me.
The below article was published on February 19th, 2021. It had barely been a month since my ‘egg cracked’ and I began questioning my gender. I was in a very vulnerable space of self-reflection but I knew I couldn’t be alone. I knew I wasn’t alone. And I knew there would be someone else out there, just like me, wanting to feel exactly that — that they weren’t alone.
And introducing: Medium Transphobe #1
I’d like to share with you a comment I received on this very post. I had the foresight to screenshot it at the time knowing it would be something to reflect on down the track. Well, I am now WAY down the track and I wonder what was going on in this person’s life and soul that they would attack someone, a stranger on the internet, so thoroughly and disgustingly. Anyway, here’s what they had to say.
It was only the second article I had written for Gender From the Trenches and this response threw me so hard against an already solid wall of doubt, uncertainty, fear, etc., that my whole body was reverberating for months. Still, I had my wits about me just enough to write what I think is an honest and respectful response — offering much more respect than they attempted to provide me.
Yes, ignore the errors — I was still rather shaken!
The short life of a transphobe
A quick exploration showed this person to be a transphobic troll dropping cruel and harmful comments as if they were she-who-shall-not-be-named herself, yet never writing their own content (if only she-who-shall-not-be-named would stop). They had no bio. No image. And certainly were not putting their money in play with a membership.
I reported them. I checked a few days later and they were still active. They were following 50 people, followed by 11, and still dropping by with their transphobic rhetoric before scurrying away back to their seemingly perfect little existence where they never have to think about their own morality because they just do what they are told. Unfair assessment? I doubt it. I have no idea if they are still active but I trust Medium has banned them by now.
I was rocked
But, back in February 2021, my own sense of self was so delicate that I couldn’t handle the conflict this ‘conversation’ may bring. I knew it, even then. So while I wrote that response to push through the barrage of my thoughts and anger, the very prospect of any response had me so anxious that I stepped back and did the right thing for me — I blocked them. Now, I realize that I should have just laughed off their stupidity and blocked them instantly, but I didn’t yet understand the potential cruelty of cisgender privilege.
And even after I blocked them, they stayed under my skin. They got to me. I didn’t post again in GFTT until June.
So, I was going to do a regular check-in, and then, things happened. Words were spoken, doubts were amplified and I did what I always do; I disappeared into myself through fear of external judgment and expectations.
I was trained well by a narcissist to hide my ‘self’.
It is now September 2022 as I write this, and I can read that comment with a completely different understanding and perspective. Firstly, I didn’t notice before, the very first line!
And why do you and I need to become men, to not give a fuck?
Right there, I should have realized, this person:
- Didn’t understand ANYTHING about my article or my position
- Is very confused about what misogyny means
- Is very, VERY likely a TERF
- May be struggling with their own gender and hiding within their fear by projecting
How would I respond now?
You don’t need to do anything, hun. That’s the point. Do you. And I already don’t give a fuck. Thanks for reading — because I get paid for that. Cheers!
Yeah, I’ve embraced my smart ass a lot more now! Because I’ve embraced ME a lot more now. That first moment of gender questioning was simply the catalyst to true self-exploration, self-acceptance, and (dare I say it?) self-love.
So, right, rant!
The bulk of this article has been sitting in my draft folder for many months. When Queerly Trans called for submissions to RantFest 2022, I was stuck. Yeah, I get the hilarity of that, because I own the damn publication and I wrote the freakin’ prompt!
Submissions Now Open for RantFest 2022 — Let it Out and Share It!
#17 The Quintessentials
medium.com
I have so much to rant about, but I get over things so much quicker now that I’m on T (Testosterone — hormone replacement therapy). “And why do you and I need to become men, to not give a fuck?” they asked (because I don’t know their pronouns and I’m respecting them — see how that works?) and for me, I say…
Hells no. I don’t need to ‘become a man’, nor do I need to ‘become a woman’, to do anything at all. What I do need, is to become me. So, no, T didn’t make me ‘not give a fuck’. Allowing myself to emerge gave me the confidence to give less fucks about shit that doesn’t matter. It just so happens that to allow ME to emerge, T was vital in disintegrating some very sturdy and long-held barriers.
Ultimately, this rant is about people focussing more on the submission, compliance, and control of others rather than their own growth.
Why do they do that?
FEAR!
It’s always fear. What do they fear? They fear being the one who is treated the way they treat others. Simple. They do not want to explore themselves, or find their authentic self, because what if… they are like us? Then what?
Look, clearly, I don’t rant well. And maybe that’s because I just don’t give as many fucks these days.
And I didn’t even have to ‘become a man’ to do it!