LACY HUMOR

Top Writers Write with Their Undies on Their Heads

Here’s why you should do it too

Disclaimer: The best way to read this article is with underwear on your head. I recommend comfy ones, but you can go for something more elegant if you feel like it.

Don’t get your panties in a twist, I know this writing tip is unexpected. But it’s true! Whether it’s metaphorical or not, top writers write with their undies on their heads.

Here’s why you should do it too.

Fighting the impostor syndrome with undies

We, the writers, often feel ridiculous. We think our ideas aren’t worth anything. “Nobody will ever want to read that!” resonates too regularly in our minds.

The result?

Drafts linger in a forgotten folder and remain unpublished forever. And for what? For fear of being ridiculed? Seriously?

Here’s the tip

Wear underwear on your head while writing.

You’ll look so ridiculous that anything you write will appear fantastic in comparison, even poetry.

Show confidence with undies on your head

“Have the confidence of a top writer, and you become one.”

Hogan — the GOAT — Toraaaaaaaaaaaaah

Standing tall, making eye contact, and allowing silences are classical ways to appear more confident.

These tips are for beginners.

From my experience, nothing exudes confidence more than wearing underwear on your head at a party or during class.

You don’t need to do it regularly.

Once is enough.

Thirty years later, I’m still known as the guy who wore underwear on his head during Mrs. Seegal’s advanced mathematics class.

At the school reunion, everybody comes to me and asks about my underwear.

• Do I still have them? Yes
• Do I still wear them? Yes, when I write

Here’s the tip

Put underwear on your head during a party once, and remember this feat forever.

Anything you’ll do thereafter will look ridiculously easy in comparison. For example, hitting the publish button.

If needed, put said underwear on your head as a reminder before hitting publish.

Personal story

Successful writings intertwine the trivial and the grandiose, the personal and the communal, and alternatively zoom in and out of the picture.

Please tell me, what could be more personal, and yet more communal, than undies?

• I wear undies right now, on my head — and not on my head
• You wear undies right now, at least not on your head. But, again, I recommend also wearing some on your head for an enhanced reading experience

See, underwear is a very personal item we have in common.

Here’s the tip

To write great stories as top writers do, you need to put yourself out there — and the undies up there.

Tell the readers something personal. They want to know more about you and be your friends.

And who wouldn’t want to be friends with the person wearing underwear on their head? Who?

Final words

As my second wife used to say, “your best ideas come straight from your boxers.”

With this assumption in mind, putting boxers, or any underwear of your choice, on your head brings the source of your best ideas closer to the brain, causing a resonance state that can only lead to virally successful articles.

Closing disclaimer: I wrote this article with underwear on my head.

This would be my entry for the UNDIES category of the Smillew Writers Challenge if I could enter. Unfortunately, I can’t enter my own challenge. That would be kind of unethical! But YOU can!

Check it out. There’s nothing to win!