Tinder is the new bingo night
Top 10 Tinder Icebreakers for Grandmas
Approved by grandmas all over the world

My Grandma’s friend, Merril, lost her husband tragically four years ago (she stopped cooking for him). After enjoying her life and becoming a Princess Cruises platinum member, Merril decided to reenter the dating scene last year.
As my grandma is my most fervent supporter, she immediately told Merril: “my Smillew is a Top Tinder Writer! You should ask him for help with your profile.”
That’s how I ended up optimizing Tinder icebreakers for a specific market segment: The Grandmas.
While the economy of Tinder usually favors women, for grandmas, it’s reversed. There are many more single grandmas than grandpas.
That’s why grandmas need to be witty to attract the perfect bachelor. They cannot rely on looks alone.
Here are the top 10 Tinder icebreakers for grandmas.
Nobody likes grumpy old men; you need a reason to complain. That’s me.
I was already married till death do us part, and look where it got me. I’m more reasonable now.
I’m looking for someone to be my model. I need to practice for the club’s life drawing championship if I want to kick old Mildred’s ass.
The following ones are a bit longer, but that’s OK. People in this demographic still know how to read.
You will pretend to enjoy watching pictures of my grandchildren, and I will pretend to lose at Scrabble. I can also let you win at Jeopardy if you like my grandkids’ TikToks and subscribe to their YouTube channels.
If you agree to believe my sweet lies, you’ll be the most handsome and intelligent grandpa on the planet. I can also increase the size of your fish after a fishing trip, the length of your drive after a golf trip, and generally any size that matters to you.
At my age, I can’t deal with a man every day, but I teamed up with Mildred from 3a and May from 4b, and we are willing to offer you the polyamorous relationship you always wanted. Tuesdays and Fridays are with me. Mondays are free.
And if you’re ready to get saucy, use these:
As the three-time winner of the sunflower community Scrabble championship, I know that blowjob is worth 23 points. Wanna play?
My husband always said I put too much teeth in my blowjobs, but now I have a denture if you see what I mean.
I am a dynamic nature-loving hiker, but I need a new walking stick. Maybe I can find it in your boxers?
The constant tremor in my right hand makes men swoon … if you know what I mean.
I’m a big fan of astrology and astroglide is my middle name. Want me to tell you your zodick sign?
Don’t be shy! Share your best icebreaker in the comments. In the meantime, I wish you a lot of success in your Tinder adventures!
Raine Lore asked if “they have Tinder for Wrinklies?” in the comments of this story, and the rest is this story. You can thank her by reading one of her saucy memoirs:

