Summary

Reentering the dating scene after a decade of absence is a complex journey filled with trepidation, nostalgia, and the hope for a profound connection, as described by someone who has experienced the emotional rollercoaster of past relationships, healing, and the tentative steps back into the world of romance.

Abstract

The article delves into the emotional landscape of an individual returning to dating after a long hiatus, highlighting the initial resistance due to exhaustion and disappointment from previous relationships. It touches on the process of healing through introspection and the inevitable regrets that surface. The narrative progresses to the point where the individual musters the courage to seek companionship again, driven by a longing for passion, commitment, and intimacy. The process of setting up dating profiles, the first matches, and the challenges of modern dating apps are depicted with raw honesty. The article culminates in the experience of a first date, which, while enjoyable, underscores the readiness for a deeper connection and the desire for the elusive 'spark' that signifies true love.

Opinions

The author conveys a sense of bitterness and disillusionment when reflecting on past relationship efforts that seemed to yield nothing.
There is a deep regret and self-reflection on what could have been in the previous relationship with wiser actions.
The fear of repeating past mistakes and potentially facing another emotional dead-end is palpable, causing hesitation in re-entering the dating scene.
The article suggests that time can create an illusion of healing, masking the true extent of one's emotional wounds.
The process of updating dating profiles and engaging with modern dating etiquette is met with a mix of nostalgia and cringe, highlighting the generational gap in communication styles.
The initial excitement of a match is quickly overshadowed by the reality of the dating world, where both parties may be too afraid to initiate conversation, leading to inaction.
The author expresses a desire for meaningful connection rather than casual encounters, emphasizing the search for a partner that can evoke a profound emotional and physical response.
The first date experience is bittersweet, reinforcing the author's vulnerability and the high expectations placed on new romantic endeavors.

What Happens When You Reenter The Dating Scene After Ten Years

Here you are, vulnerable and hoping for the best.

The first thing you do is that you don’t do anything. You don’t reenter the dating scene because you’re tired, exhausted, without hope, full of sadness and disappointment.

Whenever you think of relationships, you’re bitter.

You think of all these efforts you did, to maintain and develop your previous relationship. All that for nothing!

After a while, after enough journaling, meditating, and introspection, you also think of all these efforts you did NOT do to maintain and develop your previous relationship.

And you regret it.

Dearly.

You keep on thinking of what could have been if only you had been wiser.

You don’t want to start it all over again. How long will it take to come back to this intimate place where you can fart under the blanket? You don’t have the strength to walk the path all over again. What if you find another dead-end after ten more years? That would kill you.

So you stay on the side.

Your wounds don’t heal; they only get covered with plasters made of time. But you don’t see the bare flesh anymore, and you think you’re strong again, ready to give love a try.

Anyway, you need to. You miss so much the passion, the commitment, and the intimacy of being with someone special. You miss touching another body, the endless talks, and the promises of eternal love.

You want to travel out of time. You want to feel alive. You want to be passionate, with the ludicrous feeling that it will last forever.

The fire inside your heart needs to burn.

So you reinstall Tinder, OkCupid, and all the applications you used ten years ago.

You cringe when you read your profile description from back then. You toy around with the idea of keeping it the same to make you look younger. Thankfully, you realize you would only look immature. You want to update your profile pictures but don’t have any that would fit. You never were a big fan of selfies. Your best friend, who was with you to sign both the wedding and divorce papers, helps you.

Your profile is back online, you swipe, and then it happens, the first match.

You’re not ready. You ghost them and uninstall the app.

More meditating, journaling, and talks with your friends. More plasters made of time. And you’re back.

Install, profile, swipe, match, and then nothing. No message. But if you matched, it must mean something, no? Why don’t they send a message? Why don’t you? Because you’re waiting for them to do so? You don’t want to look needy. Neither do they. And nothing happens.

Then comes the silly messages, the “Heyyy, what’s up?” the “DTF?” and other sad excuses for an icebreaker; you never reply. It’s not ghosting. It’s hard enough as it is without this kind of non-conversation.

Why would you put up with their insecurities when you still have to deal with yours?

Finally, you go on a first date.

It’s fun. One of the best nights out you had in the last years. Coming back home, you wrap yourself in your blanket and cry. You’re not ready to meet another lost soul. You’re not ready to discover the flaws of another human being. And, more importantly, you didn’t fall in love.

And that’s what you’re looking for; the spark. You want your insides to melt. You want to be on a cloud for the rest of the week. You want your lips swollen with a thousand kisses. You want your head exploding with questions and desire. You want your whole body to be a beating heart, pulsatile, waiting for a caress to appease it.

Because, if it’s just to have fun, what’s the point?

Here you are, back on the dating scene.

You’re a princess on her horse looking for her sleeping prince, a prince wishing to meet his dragon fighting princess, or any other combination you might fancy, eternally romantic, vulnerable, and hoping for the best.

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