Today’s Transphobic Question: Are Trans Women Really Women?

Separate but equal never works

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Well, it happened. Again.

A comedian is quitting comedy. Again.

And yep, it’s for transphobic reasons. Sigh…again.

If legendary ventriloquist and America’s Got Talent winner Terry Fator revealing that he’s also a raging transphobe isn’t enough to deflate your giggle gasm, wait until you hear about the latest comedian to say the quiet part out loud: Samantha Pressdee.

Her exit statement might send you with a pitchfork to whoever published this transphobic diatribe. I can save you some time if you’ll put down the pitchfork.

The publisher is Chortle, which bills itself as the premiere source of comedy news, reviews, and listings throughout the UK. They published the article not because they agree with it, but because — well, they said why they published it at the bottom of the article.

We print this personal opinion piece, not because we agree with it — frankly ‘I’m quitting comedy because of trans rights,’ seems a bizarre non-sequitur in any case — but because we don’t want to feed the nonsense narrative that such views are being ‘silenced’ by rejecting it.

The self-identified comedian took offense at the accusation that she is quitting comedy because of trans rights.

But while her description of “women with penises” might at first make you think she is an ally for women — including those with a penis or penis-shaped genitals (we love our intersex and gender non-conforming community) — her final hashtag for solidarity with JK Rowling makes her transphobia as loud as that red nose.

You are not an ally for women if you are willing to harm the ones you declare don’t count.

You are not an ally for anyone if you are willing to deny them basic human rights simply because they have had an identifiably transgender experience.

Did you read the article?

In the heat of the moment, a Twitter user read and quickly TRANSlated the comedian’s article.

“I support ppl being who they are. But not trans women who I think should be regarded as men”

Why can’t transphobes just be upfront? Why do they have to dress it up?

Women can & do have penises. Men can & do have vaginas. B/c trans ppl exist & are real as cis ppl are. — Twitter user

Guess what? The comedian returned so that we wouldn’t doubt what she meant.

“Trans women are trans women.” — Samantha Pressdee

“Trans women are trans women” might actually be the place where a lot of people stop and say that’s a fine middle ground.

And I don’t just mean the bigots.

I mean people who call themselves allies. People who are allies.

But here’s the thing. Separate but equal never worked. It’s never going to work.

In the words that got Stephen King blocked by JK Rowling: Trans women are women.

What’s the big deal about calling them trans women?

If you want the science on why it’s essential for us to believe kids when they tell us they are trans or gender non-conforming, here is essential coverage of recent research into kids as young as 3–12 years old.

• Believing Trans Kids Isn’t The Same As Grooming Them
• The Consequences Of Raising Your Kid as the Wrong Gender

The science is clear: believe trans kids.

Except here’s the thing. The science matters to us — you and me — the people who care about guiding our kids toward their authentic selves. But when arguing with a person who holds not just transphobic positions but transphobic convictions, facts will never matter as much as their own bigoted feelings.

So instead, I want to TRANSlate the most common argument you’ll encounter.

You’d be surprised what a person is really saying once the quiet part is now loud.

A letter from the Dear Cisters archive

Note: the below letter/response was originally published as an entry in the Dear Cisters column on Medium

Note 2: I might have tweeted it as a response to that comedian

CW: religious abuse, transphobia

DEAR CISTERS,

WHO I AM AND WHY I’M RIGHT

I really don’t care about any of this. It has nothing to do with me. It doesn’t affect me. It doesn’t affect anyone I know. Nevertheless, I want to give my opinion on whether transwomen are women.

I don’t say this because my opinion is right or wrong. I’m sharing what I know to be True. What I was told is True. What you are not allowed to disagree with if you want any hope of being treated with dignity.

What I want to say about this topic is a transperson cannot be or become a biologically gendered person. A transwoman will never be a Woman. A transman will never be a Man.

While I know the side that argues transwomen are women SHOULD understand that logic, the fact that they are still crying (and dying) about all of this shows they don’t understand what I’m saying.

So I am going to explain this to you over. And over. And over. Even if you show me that you understand the topic better than I do.

Why would I be so deliberately obtuse? Let me pause the Shawshank Redemption to explain why.

Because I have the Word of God on my side. That lets me know that no matter how much evidence, logic, or just genuine human experience of suffering and abuse I see my actions inflict on you and people like you, I will NEVER change my mind.

It is GOD who says you are diminishing and erasing the experiences that would validate cisgender AND trans people!!!

What would validate both of us is what would make ME feel validated. And that would be if you would please agree to call yourself what I want to call you. I want to call you a transwoman. Or a transman. Gosh, this makes me feel as angry as God getting ready to drown 99.9% of humanity.

WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU’RE WRONG

Now here’s the thing. I know many, many, many Women (that’s cisgender, if you’re trans) who were born without the reproductive organs so that they can have a period. Do you know how painful that is for them?

They fantasize about having menstrual cycles. For them, it feels like an essential part of womanhood. And it is! I grieve with them that they can’t experience it.

The same thing is true for so many of my fellow Women. They can’t have menstrual cycles. Never could. They can’t breastfeed. Something was missing beyond their control since before they were born.

One of my best friends was born something called “intersex,” but her parents fixed that for her and made sure she was a girl. Well, as much as they could. Can you imagine if they had made the wrong decision and tried to turn her into a boy? She might have needed the same kind of gender-affirming care a trans person is trying to say they deserve, too.

I heard sometimes doctors don’t even know the woman has had transgender-related medical care until looking deeper into their history. Honestly, it’s confusing to the point of wondering why we even consider there to be a difference.

But you will never convince me to see the cis and trans person as the same.

My point is that trans women are trying to take away gender-affirming care from REAL Women. Trans women, often for shockingly similar or even the exact same causes as cis women, aren’t able to menstruate. They aren’t able to get pregnant.

You put them side-by-side with a cisgender woman, you’d never know the difference. You’d probably grieve for both of them, right?

But God lets us know to only grieve for the one that we all know is a real Woman.

If you’re going to argue for gender identity, you must allow for the space of that identity to be valid without equating it to something that confuses me and people like me.

I’m not arguing for the erasing or hatred towards transpeople. To my allies, always be clear about your intentions. If you want to have a HATEFUL IMPACT without being held accountable, you need to constantly remind everyone (including yourself!) that you have no hate in your heart. Only those with hate in their heart will be held accountable for the hateful impact of their actions.

Yes, trans people will be very convincing when pointing out the hateful impact of your positions and actions regarding people with transgender experiences. I can’t deny that. People with transgender experiences are experiencing real harm and abuse from my actions. Some are even dying!

But I didn’t INTEND for them to die. I INTEND to fulfill the Word of God. And thus that is all for which I will take responsibility.

If I am to live out the gospel of Yeshua, then I am to love all people. I am to see them with understanding and compassion.

But there will be times — many times — when the commands of Elohim require me to violate what I believe to manifest love to all people.

There will be times — many times — when the commands of my Savior reinforce that for me to claim that salvation, I must be willing to hurt whoever the Bible tells me deserves to be hurt.

Whenever I am in doubt, a return to almost any random scripture reminds me that my violence toward trans people is in service to a Higher Purpose.

Sincerely, Sad Is This Terf

Answer

Dear SADISTER,

I’m sorry to hear you feel that way about women with transgender experiences, but you’re entitled to your own way of seeing things.

I have no right to try to change how you see women. I accept your faulty perception in particular of women who have had what you identify as transgender experiences.

My hope is that by you putting your bigoted positions like this out into the world, the feedback you receive will help you acknowledge and take responsibility for the harmful and abusive impact posts like yours have toward women.

This includes women who have had transgender experiences as well as women who have not.

You do not need hate in your heart for your actions to have a hateful impact.

What you are doing hurts and abuses women.

That hurts. Please stop.

I am not begging you for these boundaries. Boundaries, after all, are not what we hope our abusers will one day give to us. They are what we give to ourselves.

None of us can ever hope to change people like you. But we can work to empower each other so that we don’t need to.

Sincerely, Stephenie

Note: When arguing with a person who holds not just transphobic positions but transphobic convictions, facts will never matter as much as their own bigoted feelings

UPDATE

After an uproar from LGBTQ+ comedians scheduled to perform at Samantha Pressdee’s next show, she announced that the promoter had pulled her from the showcase.

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