TRYING2️⃣UNDERSTAND
To Burn Out or to Fire Up?
It’s all in your head, and the answer… is yours to choose!
At my last job, a few colleagues noticed I was getting burned out and warned me. I was surprised as I actually felt good. But it made me start thinking about it.
People often feel burned out lately. Too much work, pressure, and harsh competing conditions. They experience nervous breakdowns and recourse to medicine and other remedies.
But still, something was off with their foresight. I saw none of the burn-out effects creeping onto me. I was curious what has made others think that way.
The position was quite a stretch, a few grades above my previous jobs. It was intense, from early morning hours till late afternoons. Day after day. But it felt good. I loved where I was and what I was doing.
It might all have changed within me, because of me. Because of a simple phrase.
When I started my first cISO position, I was cramped. My ‘Impostor syndrome’ started taking swings at me. I felt I was not up for the task. After all, I have just stepped into a huge crater, caused by a massive cyber security breach.
I signed a one-year contract to design and build the information security management system. After two months passed, I told my wife the job was so intense I was uncertain if I was up to it.
She said something that completely changed my perspective.
“I know you are doing the best you can. Continue doing so and enjoy the ride. Whenever you stop, unable to continue, you will know that you have done your best. You will see how far you have managed to come and should be proud of yourself. If the company is not satisfied, you were just not the right person to meet their expectations.”
Having heard that, I realized I did not really care how high their expectations were. But I was curious to see how far I could endure and what I was made of.
That gave me all the power and motivation to take it further. I am quite a stubborn man, after all.
But, as it is in my nature, I always want to get to the essence of WHY. So, I dove into that one as well.
Many wisdom quotes from great philosophers appeared at the exact moment and lit the way.
“It is not what happens to you that hurts you. It is what you think of it.”
While trying to understand the meaning of this saying, I realized that it was all in my head.
I am the one to decide whether I want to get burned out (or fired up). I am the creator of my future. The Universe is just testing and helping me brush my skills for the next level.
I need to recognize my skills, admit my mistakes, and improve on them. Does that make me feel burned out? No way! I am fired up!
A Slovenian writer explained in his book “How to burn out” that a burn-out is a product of long-lasting unallowed, unaccepted vulnerabilities. He could not have described it any better, and that rang my bell:
“We do not allow ourselves to be seen as vulnerable. And we suffer because of that.”
In a way, that sounds much like what my wife was trying to tell me. It’s up to us to decide!
Do you want to put out the best of you or let your ego ‘save you?’ I already explained in another article that ego ‘kills’ our opportunity to learn and grow.
It hates changes and wants you to stay where you are, comfy. Yup, you never know. It can always get worse! Or…
It used to bother me when someone did something unpleasant to me. Occasionally it still does.
But I learned the lesson from Confucius and decided to turn inward, inspect why that bothers me, and improve myself.
Technically speaking, burn-outs do produce some specific hormonal juices that, when overflowing, can be destructive. But if you decide to take it as a challenge instead, the juices appear to be different — and productive.
Steven Kotler stated that all conditions for burning out arise during our pursuit of high, hard goals.
So, when we are successful, we feel victorious and fired up, and when we are not, we burn out?
Who then defines those measures of our success?
We do, in our head! As long as we feel we are doing great, we feel fired up. Of course there are physical limitations, but those are set for much later. But when we ‘realize’ we are wasting our time, the fiery energy starts to burn out.
Marcus Aurelius stated that “impediment to action advances the action. What stands in the way, becomes the way.”
Similarly, his namesake Marcus Taylor confirmed that:
“Getting to the top of the mountain is not about acquiring more, but about becoming more.”
How about it then? Do you prefer to get burned out or fired up?
The ‘fuel’ is the same. The only difference is how you decide to light it up!
The first step is the most important. Once you recognize you make all the difference, the next is easier — your inner fight with your ego. To insist on training it to calm down and letting go. And to find positives in what looks negative at first sight.
Stay well and fire yourself up! ;)
