Tinder vs. ASL Please: The Want of the New vs. The Charm of the Old

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fear of her picture going online gives her nightmares every day. Thus dear you, when you share your attributes out there <i>best to keep the personal and more intimate details to yourself until a few dates have gone by and a trusted base has been established.</i></li><li><b>Don’t fall for peer pressure: </b>A male friend of mine has been looking for “the one”, however has not been very lucky yet. He is a wonderful human being, with a heart of gold yet his romance novel is stuck on the Index page. It’s not that he doesn’t have someone on his radar, he likes someone and possibly she likes him too; They spend numerous nights in his condo watching movies from dusk to dawn. However, nothing has happened yet, not even a remote mention of going on a date. All our friends tend to pull his leg and tell him, that had they been in his place things would have gone all the way. He says only one thing, “I don't want to ruin my friendship with her by chancing a romance, without knowing her true feelings.” and I respect him for that! <i>Take things in your own stride, do not ever be pressured into a date/ relationship because your friends ask you to.</i></li><li><b>Identify red flags early on:</b> I have a friend who met this wonderful man on Tinder and believed he was the one. All was peachy in the dream world, and then suddenly after 3 dates he told her that he likes to keep things in the grey area, and this would not work out. Well, what do you mean sir? It was upon reflection that we realized that he was possibly commitment-phobic, and the prospect of a casual Tinder dates becoming a relationship scared him off. Maybe he was just out there looking to hook up, which is acceptable, his life — his rules. <i>However, there were red flags on the first date itself when he said the same possibly in not so many words.</i> If only we had recognized it then, hence be cautious — the first few dates are all it takes.</li><li><b>Once found, take initiative:</b> Not all stories are for the worst, I do have a friend who met her boyfriend (now husband) via Bumble 2 years ago. She was getting divorced and was in a rut. After much encouragement from her siblings, she registered on Bumble and met a nice guy. They click instantaneously over their love for North Indian food, they went on a couple of dates and before you knew it she called me to say they’re getting married! It’s been 2 years now and she is happy, expecting her first child with that wonderful man. <i>However what made a difference here was, she took initiative. Believe it or not, once she knew he was the one — she took her parent's blessings and did the unconventional, she proposed to him! T</i>oday if you ask him, he would openly declare that he was so scared of her past that he would have possibly waited another year or t

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wo. All is well, that ends well!</li></ul><p id="fd70">I know life is not easy with Pandemic hovering over our lives all day, however, do not lose hope yet. If this digital era is giving you a hard time, let love happen organically. Believe me, he/she/they are waiting for you just around the corner. It might take a while, but have faith that not all homo sapiens are looking for one-night conquests!</p><p id="a896">Xo, Aakriti.</p><blockquote id="e33c"><p>Thank you for reading my story. If you enjoyed reading my story, you can <a href="https://medium.com/@aakritihiteshi/membership">join Medium using this link</a> at a minimal cost of $5 per month, and gain unlimited access to numerous other writers!<b> If you use my sign-up link, I’ll earn a minuscule commission at no extra cost to you, which would support me immensely in my writing journey.</b></p></blockquote><p id="ec93">Below is a selection of my writings, that you might enjoy as well. Happy reading!</p><div id="52f1" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/brazilian-wax-do-it-for-you-not-for-him-ea849c7d6bc6"> <div> <div> <h2>Brazilian Wax: Do It For You, Not For Him!</h2> <div><h3>It’s self-love, it’s therapeutic, it’s happiness, and it’s love at first touch!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*QCjruOeGM3SneMQu)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="5448" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/love-is-a-relentless-partner-who-refuses-to-give-up-14ecaa6acf81"> <div> <div> <h2>Love Is, A Relentless Partner Who Refuses To Give-up</h2> <div><h3>For better, for worse, through health, through sickness.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*FXYyxyTCbfo6t4WN)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="6ae2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/men-and-their-porcelain-throne-6b9b792eb1cc"> <div> <div> <h2>Men and Their Porcelain Throne</h2> <div><h3>Women’s point of view.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*I3_MNqpvh4nkcUJk)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

In the digital era of swipe-right, swipe-left, have we lost the charm of falling in love the old-fashioned way?

I remember stealing glances with my crush in high school giving me butterflies; I remember having romantic conquests on yahoo messenger which started with the humble message, “ASL please”. The good old days, definitely not as alluring as the early 90s when all one had was conversations and love letters — yet so simple, so charming.

I have been married for a while now, however, I have friends and siblings attempting to find romance (possibly even life-long partners) in this technology-driven world by deploying tools like Tinder, Grinder, Bumble, etc. From what I hear, it is not easy! It saddens me but from what I have heard from my best friend, swipe-right and swipe-left have become just a means to have a steamy one-night stand, with heedless sex and zero romance. Are these what human connections have truly come down to?

People fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe it’s all part of a plan? — Ed Sheeran

I quote the amazing Ed Sheeran here because his songs still give hope. It’s unconventional, yet true. Are you struggling to find love too, or possibly love again? But are clouded by the experiences and repute of these apps. To you, I say, my dear do not give up. There is still love in this world, there are still people from the other sex who are seeking someone — just like you. It’s all about hitting the right cord, once. Thanks to the experiences I have lived through with friends, here are the top things that you could do to find old-school love, amid a world obsessed with sexting and one-night stands.

Finding love, a journey rather than a digital conquest.

Be true to yourself, but cautiously: Putting oneself out there is never easy. Whether you choose the conventional word-of-mouth route or the digitally-driven pathway, put yourself out there; All of you, but with a touch of caution. Choose the information you wish to divulge carefully, remember the first impressions often are the last; Yet let's not forget the number of catfishes out there as well. I had a friend who made the grave mistake of sharing a nude with her date after Date 2, lo and behold they broke up soon after but the fear of her picture going online gives her nightmares every day. Thus dear you, when you share your attributes out there best to keep the personal and more intimate details to yourself until a few dates have gone by and a trusted base has been established.

Don’t fall for peer pressure: A male friend of mine has been looking for “the one”, however has not been very lucky yet. He is a wonderful human being, with a heart of gold yet his romance novel is stuck on the Index page. It’s not that he doesn’t have someone on his radar, he likes someone and possibly she likes him too; They spend numerous nights in his condo watching movies from dusk to dawn. However, nothing has happened yet, not even a remote mention of going on a date. All our friends tend to pull his leg and tell him, that had they been in his place things would have gone all the way. He says only one thing, “I don't want to ruin my friendship with her by chancing a romance, without knowing her true feelings.” and I respect him for that! Take things in your own stride, do not ever be pressured into a date/ relationship because your friends ask you to.

Identify red flags early on: I have a friend who met this wonderful man on Tinder and believed he was the one. All was peachy in the dream world, and then suddenly after 3 dates he told her that he likes to keep things in the grey area, and this would not work out. Well, what do you mean sir? It was upon reflection that we realized that he was possibly commitment-phobic, and the prospect of a casual Tinder dates becoming a relationship scared him off. Maybe he was just out there looking to hook up, which is acceptable, his life — his rules. However, there were red flags on the first date itself when he said the same possibly in not so many words. If only we had recognized it then, hence be cautious — the first few dates are all it takes.

Once found, take initiative: Not all stories are for the worst, I do have a friend who met her boyfriend (now husband) via Bumble 2 years ago. She was getting divorced and was in a rut. After much encouragement from her siblings, she registered on Bumble and met a nice guy. They click instantaneously over their love for North Indian food, they went on a couple of dates and before you knew it she called me to say they’re getting married! It’s been 2 years now and she is happy, expecting her first child with that wonderful man. However what made a difference here was, she took initiative. Believe it or not, once she knew he was the one — she took her parent's blessings and did the unconventional, she proposed to him! Today if you ask him, he would openly declare that he was so scared of her past that he would have possibly waited another year or two. All is well, that ends well!

I know life is not easy with Pandemic hovering over our lives all day, however, do not lose hope yet. If this digital era is giving you a hard time, let love happen organically. Believe me, he/she/they are waiting for you just around the corner. It might take a while, but have faith that not all homo sapiens are looking for one-night conquests!

Xo, Aakriti.

Thank you for reading my story. If you enjoyed reading my story, you can join Medium using this link at a minimal cost of $5 per month, and gain unlimited access to numerous other writers! If you use my sign-up link, I’ll earn a minuscule commission at no extra cost to you, which would support me immensely in my writing journey.

Below is a selection of my writings, that you might enjoy as well. Happy reading!