Sexuality | Relationship | Dating
Threesome: Why I Fantasize About Having One
Is it healthy to daydream about doing something you aren’t proud of?
We hear about men’s sexual fantasies, but we don’t think women sit around fantasizing about naughty things.
Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but women have pleasant romantic fantasies too even more frequently than men. Sometimes, a woman might not even know she had a certain fantasy until she sees someone else doing it.
However, fantasies are a killer buzz in some relationships. Sharing your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies with any partner — new or old is terrifying.
The last time I mentioned to my ex about having a groupie with gay men he didn’t speak to me for days. Some people assume that fantasizing about something means you will inevitably do it. This is why most people are not vocal about their sexual fantasies.
Daydreaming about sex is completely normal, and acting on a shared fantasy may even help spice up a relationship. It’s also important to know that imagining yourself enjoying oral sex with this friendly barista doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trying to cheat or have an emotional relationship with the person.
You can be having the best sex of your life but still crave a bang with the hottest guy in your office. Sexual fantasies are harmless and perfectly healthy. It helps us reveal what we desire between the sheets, and gives us an image to communicate our desires to our partner.
My sexual fantasies are mostly taboos
One of my favorite fantasies is sex with a stranger in public places. There’s nothing more exciting than a casual, non-committal date with a handsome stranger.
There’s no relationship pressure, no drama. Only a sexual warmth that radiates between your bodies.
Sometimes I fantasize about voyeurism. I want to watch as my partner have sex with other women from a different angle. I learn what turns my partner on, and how they want to be satisfied. A lot of hot sex with your partner can follow after a voyeuristic experience.
Aside from sex in public places, I fantasize about threesomes too. Whether is a threesome with heterosexual men or women or a threesome with homosexuals.
Nowadays it is quite common for straight people women to occasionally sleep with other women. Some women just want to know how it feels.
For me, there is more to my fantasies about a threesome. I get aroused when I think of double penetration- in the mouth and pussy.
When I’m too tired to participate directly in sex, I turn on my private sex tape in my head and watch two guys having sex with a girl or two girls eating and licking the third girl while piping down a bottle of scotch on my lounge.
The fun part is women know how best to stimulate the clitoris and that is how I orgasm. So dreaming of lesbian sex is more about that liberation than sexual orientation.
Although, I have my reservation about same-sex relationships. I don’t criticize gays or queers however, having fantasy sex about same-sex couples helps me come to terms with their dating dynamic and be at peace with the real world.
Why threesomes are so great is that I don’t have to feel jealous that my partner is out having sex with other people. I can be a part of the fun or watch them tear up each other and enjoy the experience.
Fantasies are not the same as desires
The key main feature of fantasy is to enhance and maintain arousal which may lead to orgasm. As I mentioned earlier, just because something turns you on doesn’t necessarily mean you want to do it in real life.
Some sexual fantasies are desires, while others are not. A sexual desire is something that you actually want to do. They are future plans or goals for your sex life — something that you crave or wish to try.
Fantasies, on the other hand, are just fantasies. Its purpose is to help you process things, and is not a reflection of any latent erotic desire.
Sometimes fantasy involves something that would be physically impossible to do. Other times the fantasy involves an illegal act, something that goes against one’s moral values, or something that could potentially harm other people.
Fantasy, desire, and behavior are distinct but overlapping concepts. When discussing your sexual fantasies with your partner, be sure to clarify whether your ideas are fantasies or desires.
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