Three Rules for Flying

An open letter to my travel companions

Dear fellow passengers,

What is it, exactly, that brings out the worst in people when they are flying? Is it the thinness of the air at thirty-thousand feet? Is it a general anxiety about flying? Maybe it is the creeping sense of claustrophobia after having been stuffed into a narrow tube alongside three-hundred other sardines? Or is flying seen as such a necessary evil that we go along with it in the same way as a petulant child unenthusiastically picks at their broccoli in order to get to the dessert?

This brings about a corollary: do we hate flying but do it anyway? The reason I ask is because I have noticed that most people do not seem to be having a good time on flights and one of the key drivers is the behavior of fellow passengers. There are plenty of things that render flying — and traveling in general — stressful, but we may be able to lighten the blow by altering our behavior to fellow passengers.

Step one to making your and your fellow passengers’ flying experience less miserable: relax while boarding. Rest assured, the airplane will not leave without you.

First off, why is everyone always in a rush to board? Once you have made it to the gate — an accomplishment in and of itself while navigating oblivious crowds that are paying attention to everything except for where they are going — it is very difficult to actually miss the flight. In fact, you would have to actively ignore the constant prompts over the loudspeaker from the gate agent to achieve this.

Rest assured, the airplane will not leave without you.

On top of that, you getting in your seat earlier will have absolutely no impact on your flight’s arrival time, there are stronger forces at play. Once called upon to do so, all you have to do is scan your ticket and you can then proceed to board through the jetway. And yet, people elbow each other to get to the counter first, ignore less mobile passengers by staring down at their shoes while queuing, and, in some instances, proceed to jog through the jetway. This is where I have seen heated playground-like discussions about who got where first, passengers being turned away for boarding in the wrong zone sequence and coffees being spilled while resting on the back of trollies.

The sense of urgency and subsequent chaos is usually induced by, as is often the case with such behavior, a scarce resource: space in the overhead compartments. I get it, you do not want to shove your trolley under the seat in front of you and you definitely do not want to wait at baggage claim. But is all of that really worth breaking a cold sweat over? In most instances, the flight personnel is highly skilled in managing the jigsaw puzzle of the overhead compartments and baggage claim wait times are ten to fifteen minutes on average in the majority of airports. Step one to making your and your fellow passengers’ flying experience less miserable: relax while boarding.

Next, we need to talk about the in-flight experience. Since when is it okay to check your manners at the door of the plane? How would it look if I were sitting in a restaurant and when I got up to use the lavatories, I leveraged the seat of my neighbor at another table — a complete stranger — to pull myself up? Besides being completely unnecessary for most able-bodied adults, would that not be a total invasion of their personal space? What if when sitting back down, I then pulled their chair hard from behind in order to properly situate myself?

It simply is not done. It is poor form. On planes, however, it has become normal. I can think of multiple instances where I have been jolted awake by someone getting out or into the seat behind me. To be fair, most people are probably not aware they do this and that is where the flight attendants have a role to play. By simply announcing “please avoid using the seats of your fellow passengers to move around the cabin” on the PA, they could create a sense of awareness and accountability within the cabin.

Step two to making flying more pleasant for all passengers: do not use your fellow passengers’ seatbacks as a crutch.

When deplaning, as while embarking, just take it easy. Upon landing, wait until the captain has turned off the fasten seat belt sign before bolting to get your things. Doing so earlier will just score you an embarrassing reprimand from the flight crew and you will have to get up twice instead of once.

Once it is safe to move around the cabin, have some spatial awareness and be mindful of your fellow passengers’ heads while emptying the overhead compartments. A trolley-wheel-induced bloody nose or concussion is in nobody’s interest when it comes to getting off a plane as quickly as possible. Finally, wait your turn to move. Do not try to sneak your way up the queue to gain a tenth of a second on other passengers. Again, how would it look if you sneakily cut in line at the corner sandwich shop during your lunch break? Why is it then acceptable to do the same on an airplane? Usually, this results in the opposite of your goal to disembark quickly by bringing about arguments and bottlenecking the aisle. Sometimes, those trying to get off the fastest even have to go back because they forget their bags (been there, done that). In rare instances, where your connection is very tight, you can let the flight crew know ahead of time and they will usually obligingly support your expedited exit from the aircraft.

One of the few benefits of flying in the middle of the pandemic was that a lot of airlines reverted back to row-by-row deplaning. Even when the flights were full and I was at the back, it was the most efficient I have ever gotten off the plane and into the airport.

The final step to ensuring an improved flying experience for all passengers is: do not trample each other while getting off the plane to gain thirty seconds.

How would it look if I were sitting in a restaurant and when I got up to use the lavatories, I leveraged the seat of my neighbor at another table — a complete stranger — to pull myself up? It is poor form. On planes, however, it has become normal.

Flying will not always be the most glamorous experience. The food will probably never be great, delays will happen, luggage will get lost and flights will be missed. However, if we all adopt the three steps above and hold each other to account, we can make it much more palatable for all those involved.

Sincerely,

A frequent flyer looking to make flying (somewhat) pleasant again

My travel storytelling centers on long form first-hand accounts with a focus on vivid depictions of the local culture through the people I meet along the way. I also work as a travel advisor tailoring travel adventures all over the world, more info here: https://www.foratravel.com/advisor/nicola-volpi

Stay tuned! In the meantime you can find some of my other pieces below: