This is How To Be A Lady According to WikiHow

Summary

The web content humorously critiques and satirizes the advice given by wikiHow on how to be a lady, juxtaposing it with absurd and unrelated scenarios, and concludes with more traditional etiquette tips from an 1860s guidebook.

Abstract

The article titled "This is How To Be A Lady According to WikiHow" on the undefined website presents a satirical take on the advice provided by wikiHow for women aiming to be ladies. It highlights several points from the wikiHow article, such as personal grooming habits, dressing like a waiter, and table manners, but illustrates them with bizarre and comical images that seem to contradict the intended message. The author also references a historical manual, "The Ladies’ Book Of Etiquette And Manual Of Politeness," to contrast modern advice with 19th-century etiquette, offering a broader perspective on the evolution of societal expectations for women. The piece is concluded with a light-hearted tone, encouraging readers to enjoy the humor and inviting them to explore other related articles.

Opinions

The author playfully mocks the use of seemingly irrelevant images in the wikiHow article, suggesting a disconnect between the advice and the visual examples provided.
There is an implication that some of the advice given, such as wearing a mask over an eel's eyes or not texting with thumbs, is impractical or nonsensical.
The inclusion of historical etiquette tips from Florence Hartley's 1860 guidebook serves to highlight how societal norms and expectations for women have changed over time.
The article pokes fun at the idea of using French phrases or words unless one is certain their companion understands them, as well as the use of colloquial filler words.
The author emphasizes the importance of not making a display of affection in public and avoiding topics of employment when conversing with professional gentlemen, reflecting on the strict social codes of the past.
The piece concludes with a tongue-in-cheek reminder to avoid making noise while eating, even when alone, as it is a habit that is difficult to break once formed.

Personal Grooming

1: Pluck your eyebrows, brush your teeth with Voltaren, wear deodorant, and wipe yourself down. Do not shave your legs or armpits.

2: Always dress like a waiter

3: Secure your mask over the eyes of the big-mouthed red eel to stop it from squirming as you hold it by the green fishing lure before killing.

4: Don’t act impatient while waiting to film your porno scene with your slightly larger twin sister.

Table Manners

5: Always wear purple tube tops with black blazers when dining in the sky.

6: Don’t eat poop.

7: Whisper jokes loudly when someone’s body language tells you they’re uncomfortable.

8: Don’t text with your thumbs.

More Lady Etiquette

It is a mark of ill-breeding to use French phrases or words unless you are sure your companion is a French scholar, and, even then, it is best to avoid them.

Never use the phrases, “What-d-ye call it,” “Thingummy,” “What’s his name,” or any such substitutes for a proper name or place.

In conversing with professional gentlemen, never question them upon matters connected with their employment.

I cannot too severely censure the habit of using sentences which admit of a double meaning. It is not only ill-bred, but indelicate, and no person of true refinement will ever do it.

Make it a fixed rule to have the head, feet, and chest well protected when going to a party, even at the risk of a crushed flower or a stray curl. Many a fair head has been laid in a coffin, a victim to consumption, from rashly venturing out of a heated ballroom, flushed and excited, with only a light protection against the keen night air.

If you travel under the escort of a gentleman, give him as little trouble as possible; at the same time, do not interfere with the arrangements he may make for your comfort.

Do not make any display of affection for even your dearest friend; kissing in public, or embracing, are in bad taste. Walking with arms encircling waists, or such demonstrative tokens of love, are marks of low breeding.

The usual hours for paying morning calls are between eleven and two, twelve and three, and all calls of ceremony should be made between these hours.

Avoid making any noise in eating, even if each meal is eaten in a solitary state. It is a disgusting habit, and one not easily cured if once contracted, to make any noise with the lips when eating.

Thanks for reading!😊

Here are a couple more from me:

Humor

This is How To Be A Lady According to WikiHow

You keep using these pictures, Wikihow — I don’t think they mean what you think they mean

Personal Grooming

Table Manners

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