This Car Accident Just Did Something Good for My Marriage.

Summary

The author and her husband experienced a marital squabble that turned into a temporary silence, which was broken after the author was involved in a car accident, leading to a truce and a renewed appreciation for their relationship.

Abstract

The author describes a period of tension in her marriage, characterized by frequent squabbles, which escalated into a silent treatment phase. Despite counseling, the couple remained at odds until an unexpected car accident occurred, injuring the author and her colleague. The incident prompted the author to reach out to her husband, and his concerned response led to a reconciliation. The experience made the author realize the importance of cherishing the present and each other, despite the inevitability of future disagreements.

Opinions

The author suggests that silent treatment in a marriage can be as damaging as loud arguments.
Counseling provided some insights but did not immediately resolve the marital issues.
The car accident served as a wake-up call, highlighting what is truly important in life.
The author believes that such experiences, while not preventing future conflicts, can improve how couples handle disputes.
The author values the shared moments with her husband after the accident, indicating a deeper connection and appreciation for their relationship.

Life happens, shit happens, and then good happens.

My husband and I squabble pretty often and sometimes, these squabbles are silent. Ironic, considering that the dictionary's meaning for squabble is a noisy quarrel…

Anyway, it gets silent cos of my husband’s temperament. Our marriage is almost 2 years old and we have squabbles from daily to weekly. We barely get out of one and then another one hits.

We were in our most recent squabble, on a Wednesday night which blew out of proportion on Thursday, and by Friday we were officially not speaking with each other.

One of our marriage counselors had called me on my way to work and spent some time with me on our issue for almost an hour. I didn’t make any promises that would end up in stuff like making half-hearted calls to hubby. I just had new realizations and convictions.

I had gotten to the office late that Friday morning. I told my colleague we should do a buffet lunch or dinner afterward. She was game. Work dragged on till past 4 pm, so we knew it would be dinner. She asked if I wanted my husband to accompany us. I just rolled my eyes. She got the message.

We left for the car park at about 5 pm. The restaurant was 15 minutes away. I got into the passenger seat and we both belted up. We were driving on a 60km/hr road with many intersections. There was traffic and we also noticed a guy’s car that had caused 4 cops to pull up and park behind him.

So the road was quite busy, the weather was great, and it was a Friday. Some drivers were pulling stunts and blamed it on TGIF. We had driven for about 5 minutes on the main axis. A Lexus jeep came out from one intersection, attempting to cross the road to the other side, and was suddenly in front of us.

With a loud impact, we hit it on the side. Our airbags went off and there was suddenly lots of pungent smoke in the car. For a while, I momentarily lost touch, but soon after, I realized what had happened.

My teammate who’d been driving suddenly said: “I am bleeding.” She was, but it was confusing to see where the blood was coming from. Our brains were still adjusting to what had just happened. My glasses had flown off, but I found them under my seat. My phone and my wallet, which were on my lap previously, were now on the floor.

Accident witnesses called 911 and in no time, a cop had come to the scene. He took charge of the situation, talking to us, documenting, speaking on his talkie, and directing traffic. The fire service also showed up, and I called my boss. We knew he wasn’t far away since he left the office shortly after we did. Besides, we were told the ambulance was 2 hours away.

After settling the initial chaos, my boss drove us to the nearest emergency. My team member was pretty shaken up and had visible injuries. While the nurse triaged and settled us, I then texted hubby. It made sense at that point.

I did not hear from him so I sent him an SMS in addition. I still didn’t get a response, so I ignored my phone and tried focusing on other pressing issues. I was getting pissed at him, thinking he was carrying on his silent battles when lives were at stake. Shortly after, I realized I didn’t have the energy for war.

At some point when there was peace, I looked at my phone and saw that he had responded. He had called twice and texted repeatedly. He wanted to know where I was. I told him not to bother and that I would be home shortly. It didn’t look like I would end up with an overnight stay at the hospital.

After spending about 2 hours in the emergency, I left. My team member now had her daughter with her. I took a taxi home and just planned to shower and head to bed. I didn’t think I had the energy for any more that night.

Hubby wasn’t home when I arrived, but got home shortly after. He asked gently how I was and what had happened. I got animated with storytelling as always. Then I showered and asked him to make omelets for me.

On the kitchen table, we talked over ice cream and omelets. We then took a walk to the grocery store. We strolled, laughed, and argued with the store teller and came back home. It all felt good.

I got into a car accident, and that paved the way for a truce. Neither of us talked about what caused the last squabble. We just enjoyed the present. In my mind, I kept thinking of how few things are clearly important. That realization wouldn’t stop the next squabble, though. It might help in handling it and the one after that.