Couple Retreats and Couple Therapy Are Good Ideas. I Tried Both.

I’ll do them again.

Hubby and I have been living together in North America for the past 2 months since we got married 2 years ago. We have our fair share of squabbles. One day, a friend said to me: “You guys should sometimes go out to places you rarely go to. It’ll help.”

I didn’t embrace the idea cos of the financial implications. We are on a strict budget; mostly sticking to the essentials of life.

Shortly after that, we had lunch with a common friend. We knew he was a counselor but had never gone to him for that. The lunch turned into a therapy session. He listened to both of us, singled out what the real issues were, and made suggestions. We felt much at ease after the session, and I silently resolved I would do this again.

Throughout the session, he just listened to each of us separately as we spoke. His suggestions thereafter were practical and realistic. We set small goals at the end.

Sometimes hubby and I have issues we can easily talk over. Other times, communication is much more difficult, and that’s when we need a ‘moderator’ with a somewhat unbiased outlook.

Last weekend, my mentor asked me: “What are you doing this weekend? I think you should do something different. You and hubby should go somewhere unusual.”

This time, I took this seriously, so I decided I would organize an outing for both of us. I had a place in mind; a Chinese buffet restaurant.

There are certain things hubby prioritizes. One is good food. We had gone to some other places in the past. If he were to leave reviews, people would never return there.

On a Friday night, I called the restaurant to make a booking. We, however, could not make it cos a prior appointment ate into our reservation time. I tried again the following Wednesday so we could do lunch on Thursday. Something else came up again.

As I finished work that evening, I considered if we could have dinner instead. Dinner was more expensive than lunch, but at this rate of rescheduling, I did not want the opportunity to pass up altogether. So I called again and made a reservation. This time around, we made it.

Hubby didn’t disappoint. He ate to his utmost filling. For him, the best things on the menu were the shrimp and the chicken wings. He kept going back to the service tables.

The vibe was good and sometimes we would make quiet jokes about people’s plates that looked like the food was spilling over. Many times, we would laugh.

At some point, hubby said: “Maybe I’ll come here every week.” I then responded: “You might tire of the food. Perhaps every fortnight or every month,” “This is a good place to host our guests. There are so many options.” “Yep,” I quipped.

I think Asians are courteous people. In this restaurant, neither did they disappoint. For the first time in a long time, I tipped the servers.

Our reservation was by 6 pm. We left before 8 pm and before long; we were home. We were so full we were uncomfortable. “I think we need some ginger tea.” Hubby spoke my thoughts out loud. That was the solution whenever we needed to speed up digestion and handle bloatedness.

Two teacups later, we felt slightly better and had stories to tell. I looked at the calendar and marked when our next outing would be. This felt great. My friends were right, after all.

Marriages and relationships shouldn’t be left to chance. They need food, water, sunlight, and Fertilizer.

Thanks to Chelsea Marie.