The Worst Motels in America, Ranked

Don’t stay here, you’ve been warned

Motel reviews are some of the most hilarious yet tragic online writing. I was unaware of this until I checked into the Super 8 in Ruidoso, New Mexico.

If you have the bad luck to be stuck in a terrible hotel, the antidote is reading other people’s angry, desperate reviews, because you won’t feel alone anymore.

The suffering in a bad motel is akin only to the excruciating torture of a Zoom call with poor lighting, or a first date with someone who showed up in a stained shirt.

The Super 8 in Ruidoso, New Mexico

The Super 8 Wyndham Ruidoso has stiff competition. Ruidoso is something of a tourist trap. Located in the mountains of southeast New Mexico, less than a day’s drive from Albuquerque, it’s a prime vacation spot where broiling New Mexicans escape the summer heat.

In winter, there’s skiing nearby. I know that for a fact because I stayed at a funky but acceptable former ski lodge after escaping the hellhole Super 8 Wyndham, which was run by a family of jackals.

Nearly a third of reviewers gave this motel 1 star, “terrible” on Trip Advisor. Don’t be fooled by it’s overall “average” rating of 3 stars.

Here are some highlights from online reviews, beginning with Cecilia G.

“DISGUSTING. Don’t stay there, you have been warned…carpet not vacuumed, vomit on stairs, toliet handle broken, tub has hair and grunge, walls have black stains along with grunge, left over belongs from pervious guest (socks), too much to mention.”

Scathing reviews cannot do this cesspool justice.

When we stayed here — for 3 hours, while my spouse nearly had a nervous breakdown because we were so exhausted from trying to find lodging during a softball tournament at the height of summer tourist season — we got a second room, and it was not better.

I asked for a refund, which led to being screamed at.

Stephanie Q. didn’t pull any punches with her review:

“I will give this hotel 0 stars….The building smelt like weed. There was people fighting, yelling and cursing. The manager was very rude and hateful….The rooms were nasty with poop stains on wall and hair all in bathtub and around bathroom sink…I was so disgusted i walked in room and turned and walked right back out….Tried to get money back ($441.00) but manger told me I was a liar and told me there was no way I was getting my money back.”

Yep. The owners should be in jail. This is THE WORST motel I’ve ever had the displeasure to stay at, even for 3 hours.

Somewhere in the Middle of Texas

In the panhandle, on the plains, and deep in the heart of the Lone Star State sit a slew of creepy, run-down motels, often run by people who moved here from India being told they were buying a viable business.

Then they found themselves stuck in a foreign land with a 14-room, ramshackle money pit.

Just north of Dallas, there’s a driveway that leads past bullet-proof plexiglass into a courtyard where guys sell moonshine in the parking lot.

I did not purchase moonshine. After securing all the curtains and praying, I took a relaxing bath. The water was so soft it felt like I was soaking in algae.

I literally drove into a likely tornado once to avoid staying in a small-town Texas rat trap. But then I ended up in Lubbock, where I had the unfortunate experience of staying at the Koko Inn.

Only 59 people have reviewed this place, and 32 of them gave it one star.

According to Globetrotter 78734 , this is the worst hotel ever.

“STAY AWAY. This place is a dirty run down dump! I was informed by a local that someone was found dead here just a few weeks ago….It’s pretty creepy. The property is not taken care of. Nobody sweeps the common areas and the building is rotted. A/C barely cranks out any cool air. They also photocopy credit cards which makes me feel VERY uncomfortable.”

I feel Globetrotter should have led with his last line.

The Clown Motel

Legend has it that the crowning jewel of bad motels is located in the armpit of the American west — Tonopah, Nevada. Don’t confuse this town-cum-Martian colony with Tonopah, Arizona.

The latter, just outside Phoenix off I-10, also scrapes the bottom of the barrel but at least it doesn’t have a Clown Motel.

I pulled into Tonopah after 14 hours on the road, following an accident in my rental car, a detour past a gypsum mine, and the most harrowing merging experience of my life, from a dirt road onto the interstate.

I was in no mood for shenanigans.

The throng of Hell’s Angels hanging out on the front porch should have clued me in to keep driving — all the way to Vegas if necessary.

Instead, I paid my $29.99 and closed my door, only to barricade it with a chair moments later when I realized there was a porno film being shot in the next room.

The walls were covered with — you guessed it — portraits of clowns.

Somehow, this place gets 3.5 stars on Trip Advisor, but there are plenty of 1 star reviews.

Daniel G. summed up my experience exquisitely:

A LIVING NIGHTMARE. If you blink twice you miss the whole town! NO cable, NO pool the AC didnt work. The water coming out of the tap was the color of liquid dirt and smelled about as good. The blankets were moving on the bed and there was no one in them. And to make it worse, everywhere you looked all you saw were creepy pictures and clown based items. The hotel actually looked like a Freddy Kruger nightmare and was bad enough it literally scared my niece so badly she refused to sleep in the room so we spent the night in the car and protested the payment with my credit card company. Let the bikers have it, normal people need to stay away!

Daniel, I hear you, and I feel your pain. Your niece’s instincts are strong.

And, Finally — New Orleans

The Sliver on the River is a wonderful place to visit, full of fun and frolic and nude ladies down on Bourbon Street. But there’s more to N’awlins than fancy hotels in the French Quarter.

Sometimes, all you want in a room is a door that locks and carpet that isn’t filled with sand.

I don’t recall the name of the place, but it felt a lot like The Knight’s Inn at Gretna. First, that’s a terrible name. Second, there’s this review from Ellen M.

“SURVIVAL CAMP. The hotel was dirty it had the look and feel of a pay by the hour for use hotel….Once we got into our room there was no light bulbs in the lamps. After we settled and woke up in the morning we had absolutely no water and …saw the sheets were stained and that there were wall plugs pulled out of the wall with exposed wires everywhere. I DO NOT recommend this hotel to anyone.”

Final Recommendations

This is not an article about Life Lessons, as I’ve recently become aware that no one cares what life has taught you unless you are famous and writing a memoir.

Instead, it’s simply a reminder that if you are traveling in America and you encounter stains, psycho managers, a family of jackals, disappointed motel owners in Texas, or moonshine in the parking lot — run!

And most of all, clown based items are for the Burning Man gatherings and kid parties, not motel rooms.

Jean Campbell is a 4x top writer in humor, food, psychology, and fitness. You can sign up for her stories to come directly to your inbox. Thank you for reading.