avatarSally Prag

Summary

The UK government has introduced new 'Plan B' COVID-19 restrictions, which include a controversial exemption allowing individuals to remove masks for singing in both religious and non-religious settings.

Abstract

In response to the rapid spread of a new COVID-19 variant, the UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has enacted 'Plan B' measures that mandate masks in all indoor settings except when singing. This decision has been met with skepticism and humor, as it allows for mask removal in places of worship and potentially in public spaces like supermarkets, under the guise of having a 'reasonable excuse' to sing. The author of the article humorously suggests several 'reasonable excuses' for singing, such as lung exercise or expressing devotion, and criticizes the logic behind the rule, questioning the intellectual basis of such a decision.

Opinions

  • The author expresses a lack of confidence in the UK government's decision-making regarding COVID-19 restrictions, labeling the latest 'Plan B' rules as nonsensical.
  • There is a clear sense of irony and sarcasm in the author's tone, particularly when suggesting that the new rules could lead to impromptu singing performances in public places like supermarkets.
  • The article implies that the exemption for singing while maskless is illogical and potentially counterproductive to the goals of public health measures.
  • The author indirectly criticizes Boris Johnson's leadership by highlighting previous instances where he was called a clown and by questioning the quality of education at Oxford, from which Johnson graduated.
  • The piece concludes with a satirical invitation to meet in the cheese aisle for a singing duet, further emphasizing the author's view that the new rules are absurd.

The UK Announces Plan B Covid Restrictions and This One’s A Corker

Come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant…

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexel

After the total mockery of the UK government’s history of CoViD-19 restrictions, I genuinely thought that they couldn’t come up with anything else that could compare.

It turns out that I have far too much confidence in humankind, especially where UK leadership is concerned.

Enter Boris’s Plan B

With the fast spread of the new variant, the UK Prime Minister recently announced the new, ‘Plan B’ rules. They came into effect yesterday.

Among these new rules, Boris Johnson, who is often unjustly called a clown, even by French President Emmanuel Macron very recently, during their fishy scandal, announced that masks will be compulsory in all indoor settings.

However, an exception was made for singing. This rule was initially created with places of worship in mind.

When it was queried as to whether that should include singing in non-religious institutions, after some careful deliberation, the response given by the government was that indeed, it would do. This means that, here in the UK, you can now spice up your normally mundane weekly shop by whipping off your mask and serenading your fellow shoppers!

How good is that?

So, non-singing members of the public who are keeping their mouths shut, and their saliva safely tucked inside them, have to wear masks. Meanwhile, those who are opening their mouths wide and projecting their voices…and spittle…out into the big, wide world are cordially invited to remove their masks to do so.

Making the usual sense there, Boris!

Sorry, is this the kind of intellectual logic that a degree from Oxford rewards you with?

However, they apparently followed this up to clarify that you have to have a ‘reasonable excuse’ to sing.

I mean, I can think of a thousand. Here are just a few…

  • Exercising my lungs to keep them healthy (necessary in current circumstances)
  • Practising for upcoming choir auditions/band practice (you can always find some auditions or form a band if you aren’t currently in one)
  • Harmonising with the hum of the freezers in the frozen aisle
  • Expressing my 24/7 devotion to God
  • Needing to enact my upcoming opera in a real-life setting
  • Simply because I like the sound of my own voice

Feel free to add a few of your own.

I mean, honestly Boris, you’ve outdone yourself with this one. It definitely goes down as Rule of the Year!

And I will meet you in the cheese aisle, Me, a soprano, and you, a tenor, As the lingering lyrics of our love song collide With the odour of a ripe camembert

I will toast to that 🥂 Bottoms up, old chap!

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UK
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