The Tao of Spyder: Part Trois
Another fifty nifty rules to live by
Hi again, I’m still Spyder Darling. And in my almost 62 years of walking the Earth, I’ve been to some exotic places, done some unusual things and learned a few lessons along the way. Here are 50 more of ’em. As always please use for good and not evil.
101. Nobody ever became a somebody by doing what everybody else was doing.
102. Better to be on the path than under it.
103. Anyone giggling while working should not have to get paid.
104. The best way to ensure that it won’t rain is to bring an umbrella.
105. Anyone who says “I hate to tell you this” has something they are going to love telling you.
106. Everyone is for free speech until someone speaks freely.
107. If it weren’t for offensive content, there wouldn’t be any jokes at all.
108. Anyone who says they don’t want to cause trouble, can’t wait to cause trouble.
109. A watched Instantpot never pressurizes.
110. Don’t call it what it isn’t.
111. Better to be the diner than the dinner.
112. Beast mode beats least mode. Though pie a la mode is pretty good too.
113. You’re never through. There’s always more you can do.
114. If you don’t do better, you can bet that someone else will, thereby making your services unnecessary.
115. The future started yesterday.
116. Fate was meant to be tempted.
117. There’s no use having followers if you don’t lead them anywhere.
118. The perfect road trip is when your time and refreshments run out simultaneously.
119. There’s no getting out of things you can’t get out of.
120. Stay on the attack or end up flat on your back.
121. One tick at a time.
122. Nothing good happens by itself.
123. Get it before it gets you.
124. Naps, they’re not just for cats.
125. The couch will be ready when you are.
126. To wine own self be true.
127. Outcomes need input or they’re kaput.
128. Trying to please everyone is a great way to please no one, starting with yourself.
129. The more you do, the more you can do.
130. If you don’t, who will?
131. Food tastes better when someone brings it to you.
132. Where there’s a will, there’s power.
133. You are the boss of you.
134. Everyone agrees with the Four Agreements until it’s time to agree with one of them.
135. The only constant is change.
136. If you don’t get started, how will you ever finish?
137. Knowledge not applied is knowledge denied.
138. The fort won’t hold itself down.
139. Hit it so hard you won’t have to hit it again until tomorrow.
140. If there’s one thing sports betting has taught me, it’s how to spell Phoenix.
141. Bet with your head. Not over it. And never on the Jets.
142. If you want to see a team perform in a way they never have before, but not in an especially positive way, bet on them.
143. The half point giveth, the half point taketh away.
144. The only time to have a cell phone in the kitchen is when it’s time to call 911.
145. The best pajamas are the least pajamas.
146. Dress for the temperature, not the calendar.
147. It’s not day drinking if you haven’t slept yet.
148. You can’t have quality time on an empty stomach.
149. The trouble with taking your time is that it takes time.
150. Don’t try and kid yourself. No one knows you better than you.
There ya have it sports and Bermuda shorts fans. Which of the tips above were your favorite? Please let me know with a comment below and don’t forget to Follow and subscribe so you don’t miss whatever life tip or trick I come up with next!
Also, just in case you missed ’em, please be sure to check out or revisit the original Tao of Spyder and The Tao of Spyder: Part Deux for my first hundred tips on getting through la vida without going loco.
Finally, if this is your last free story of the month, now is the perfect time to do us both a flava and join Medium team as a paid member with my handy, if not downright dandy referral link. That way for $5 a month, less if you pay for a year up front, you can read until your eyes bleed and go down more literary rabbit holes than Lewis Carroll would every know!
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© 2023 by Spyder Darling
