Reflections

The Story Behind The Window

What is the story behind your story?

Many stories have a story lurking behind them. Over the past week, my husband and I have been watching the latest season of the Netflix series, “The Movies that Made Us.” Each episode goes over the making of a popular film, like Pretty Women and Jurassic Park. Most movies stem from a book, so I love hearing how the original writers came up with their idea. How it grew from that spark into something bigger, like a movie. The alternative titles and endings. Vast changes made to the story and characters.

I love hearing about the process that leads to the eventual story.

In 1993, I wrote a creative nonfiction piece, “The Yellow Sweater,” in a college writing class. It was about my experience as a 12-year-old watching my grandma pass away and reclaiming a relationship with her after her death.

I remember writing the essay, filled with nerves, as it was the first personal essay I shared with another human being, besides my mother. It felt raw yet empowering to my 20-year-old self, who didn’t feel she fit in anywhere. After one more year of college, I left school because of anxiety and panic attacks. I was lost.

About three years later, I shared the essay with my then-boyfriend, another new writing level I unlocked. Sharing something I wrote with someone outside my family and school.

It was the last time I shared my writing to another human until 2020.

Eleven years ago my mother passed away unexpectantly. In the corner of my basement rests her memories and my childhood memories in plastic containers. It took the stillness of 2020 to go through them. To revisit her past, along with my past in photos, journals, and yearbooks. At the bottom of one bin I found my college paper, “The Yellow Sweater.” The copy I gave her.

I had long lost my copy and didn’t have a file of it saved.

It felt like a sign. From her.

I placed the paper on my desk for safekeeping. Another year passed before I read it again.

Then about a month ago, Medium announced writing challenges. One prompt is Death. I knew this is the time to merge what I had written nearly 30 years ago with my words today.

It is not about winning a challenge (yes, of course that would be beyond awesome) but the act of removing the hesitation I’ve sat in for so long. I pushed past it and clicked the “publish” button without hesitation.

This is the journey I am on.

Don’t overthink, just do. The active verb.

That is my story behind The Window: A Reflection on the Passage from Life to Death.

@2021 Ellie Jacobson

Do you have a story behind a story (fiction or nonfiction)?

Tag me and I’ll read your words about your story. Tag other writers so they will share their story. And on and on. You are welcome to join in the conversation at anytime.

Inspiration

Trista Signe Ainsworth’s newsletter this week inspired me to write this post about signs in nature. This wasn’t a sign in nature, but a sign in life.

And continued inspiration from Ramblin' Rose’s discussion about what is holding us back.

Be a Writer

I invite you to write with us at Flint & Steel, your home for writing prompts to spark your creativity.