Life Experience

The Skills You Should Not Live Alone To Master

Surviving In Solitude

Towards the end of 2017, I made the decision that I would travel abroad to chase my post-graduate training. I can’t say it was an easy decision, but I can’t say I had put a lot of thought into it either. It was one of those semi impulsive decisions that I made throughout my life.

Back home in Egypt, up to my late 20s, I used to stay in my parents' house. I wasn’t exactly the helper type when it came to home errands. And as I was still in college, I used to convince myself that I am too occupied for such things.

I moved to the United Kingdom in December 2017, and as I did not have any close friends or relatives in the country, My Life has been more of living alone and moving from one place to another as my training progressed. As I was living a very stable life before — and looking back at those years retrospectively — I can’t say If it was better or worse. But, I can definitely say, It was different.

When you start to live alone, lots of things change instantly; you lose any help you are used to, you become the responsible person for everything in your life, and you start seeing a few things differently.

While I can be in no position to give any sort of life advice, I will try to share a few things that I learned — or think I did — along those two years that, in a way, changed my personality and made me process events differently.

You Are Your Own Boss

You are the only person in charge of planning your life, and there are two plans you need to keep clearly in your mind. One, that is your short term, weekly plan, which involves your usual errands — sorting your groceries, cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry — and Two, more importantly, your long term plan, which can involve your next job aspiration, studying for your exams or even writing a paper/thesis. These two plans, side by side, helps keep you on track to achieve your goals

Enjoy Your Own Company

I think It was a late realisation for me that I can be living in a place where I don’t have anyone near me who I enjoy their company. I always imagined that I would have someone, even my family at least. Mind you though, as this can seem quite eccentric or depressing. Developing the mindset of enjoying your own presence and finding things that you can do by yourself that actually satisfies you — not as a distraction — can be quite.. challenging. But having said that, once you do, you will unleash an insane amount of self-actualization. The reason is, those things that you will enjoy, would be things you truly want to do, not being imposed on you by a person, culture or a community.

Who Is Actually Important In Your Life

The other way around applies as well. As I spent a long time alone, I discovered whom I actually enjoyed my time with. I made sure whenever I am with anyone whom I appreciate, I would dedicate all my attention to them. So even If I spend less time with them, the quality of the time itself is different. And in turn, I avoided anyone who would waste my time.

Taking Care Of Yourself

By now, I would consider it as a shame If you do not know how to cook yourself a nice delicious warm meal; If there is no one to cook for you, how are you planning to survive? and Mind you, this is only basic. You get extra points making a good grill, baking, etc.

Same for cleaning, ironing and washing your clothes. And in case you are wondering, being a man does not cut you slack. Sorry.

Maintaining Your Own Finances

Money is important. So you should know the basics, at least, about savings. If you are getting paid and spending all your money by the end of the month, I would look into changing that. To my surprise at some point, I discovered the fact that everyone should know about how to invest the money as well as different methods to grow your money.

And most crucial… Survive

The moment you realise you have survived alone, without any help, the moment you’ll see everything and everyone with no attachments. Yet, everyone is important. Maybe that is a bit difficult to understand. In other words, I would say,

Treat everyone as if they are important, yet, disposable.

Best of luck,

Moataz