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Abstract
</p><p id="db64">“These <i>are</i> my toys, Paul!”</p><p id="ff39"><b><i>More from Kiki Wellington:</i></b></p><div id="9ec1" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/not-so-smooth-criminals-5-cases-of-sex-toy-theft-gone-wrong-6b223e5aa71f"> <div> <div> <h2>Not-So-Smooth Criminals: 5 Cases of Sex Toy Theft Gone Wrong</h2> <div><h3>The lube didn’t stick, but the charges did</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Gzb5kx9hHQTXInd1ECblOQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="8b1e" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/of-sex-toys-and-stealing-3-daring-sex-toy-heists-410b9c16fef9"> <div> <div> <h2>Of Sex Toys and Stealing: 3 Daring Sex Toy Heists</h2> <d # Options iv><h3>When fingers get sticky for all the wrong reasons</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ORK9Cta5l-eCYaO9KFna8g.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="ebac" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-sex-toy-secret-research-shows-when-it-comes-to-sex-toys-people-are-hush-hush-41b1ba517521"> <div> <div> <h2>Quickie: The Sex Toy Secret</h2> <div><h3>Research shows when it comes to sex toys, people are hush-hush</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*TghNtNxpEHsG-urhrVAn3Q.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>
“Why are you naked, Paul?”
“What did you expect?”
“I didn’t expect you to be naked!”
“But my love, you said you wanted us to spend the evening with your toys!”
“Yes, Paul, but that doesn’t explain why you’re naked.”
“So we can play with your toys! Where are they?”
“These are my toys, Paul!”
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