The Secrets to Finding a Boyfriend Revealed

We’ve all been there. You’re scrolling through your Facebook feed and you see your high school friend’s engagement announcement. Suddenly, you’re hit with a wave of panic and loneliness.

You think to yourself, “What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I find someone?”

Don’t worry. You’re not alone.

A lot of girls find themselves single for long periods of time, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

It seems like every other day another girl is posting a status update or tweet about how she is still single. And while there’s nothing wrong with being single, most girls (and women) eventually want to find themselves in a relationship.

So, what’s the secret to finding a boyfriend?

There are certainly no guarantees, but we’ve got some tips that might help.

In this blog post, we’ll reveal 24 secrets to finding a boyfriend.

1. Figure out what you want in a boyfriend

You can’t find someone if you don’t know what you’re looking for. And it’s not just about looks. Sure, he may be tall and handsome but would he make a good boyfriend?

Think about the qualities you want in a significant other and write them down so that every guy you meet can be evaluated against your list of criteria.

2. Put yourself out there

You can’t find a boyfriend if you don’t have any options. If you spend all your time hanging out at home with your cat, chances are slim that you’ll meet someone new.

You’ve got to get out of the house and interact with people. This could be as simple as going on a coffee date or you can attend a networking event or even sign up for an online dating website.

3. Look beyond the bar scene

For a lot of women, their social circle consists mostly of friends that they’ve made at bars and clubs. While this can be fun in college, try branching out your circle of friends to include other venues like your gym, book club or even an art gallery opening. Once you expand your social circle, you’ll be exposed to many more potential candidates.

4. Date multiple people

There’s nothing wrong with dating someone until they cheat on you and then immediately breaking up with them. While it may seem like this would give your confidence a boost, it may actually cause you to overlook the other good guys that are out there.

There are plenty of great guys who are not cheaters and if you never give them a chance because you’re too busy dwelling on your last relationship, then you’ll never find one of these non-cheating, great guys.

5. Be positive

This one may seem like a “no-brainer,” but it’s important. Having a positive attitude and outlook on life will attract people to you. There is nothing more unattractive than someone who treats everyone else with disrespect, talks poorly about other people or has a negative outlook on life.

In contrast, having a positive attitude means being nice to others and approaching life with a glass half-full mentality.

6. Don’t be difficult or hard to get

If you want the guy, make it easy for him to fall in love with you by being nice and making it clear that you like him. Instead of acting like you don’t care, show interest. If he is into you, he will reciprocate.

7. Don’t play games

Don’t lead a guy on just because you don’t want to hurt his feelings or tell him that you’re not interested when there really is no attraction between the two of you.

If it doesn’t feel right, then say so and move on without making up excuses to why you don’t want to date him. Now, this isn’t a license to be mean either. There’s a difference between being civil and just being cruel.

8. Keep your independence

It is important to have your own life outside of the relationship so that you won’t resent the boyfriend for taking up all your time. In order to keep your independence, you may want to continue living with roommates (and not your boyfriend) or even maintain an active love life that doesn’t involve him.

9. Don’t lean on him too much

If you’re in a serious relationship, then it’s important to be there for each other during the good times and bad. However, it’s equally important to maintain your own identity and not completely rely on the boyfriend for every decision you make.

If he wants to support you in your goals (and vice versa), then go for it. But if not, don’t get discouraged. There are plenty of guys out there who will want to support you no matter what.

10. Impress him with your cooking skills

Nothing says that you’re girlfriend material like baking a cake or making lasagna from scratch.

Sure, it sounds cliche, but if you want a guy to fall head over heels for you, cook him a three-course meal.

What’s the worst that could happen?

He might think you’re a little weird — big deal. As long as he doesn’t kick you out of his apartment and delete your number from his phone, you’re doing just fine.

11. Make sure he knows how much you care about his family and friends

If you’re trying to become someone’s significant other, it helps to show them that you’re interested in their inner circle.

And we’re not talking about the people they hang out with on a Saturday night after you guys have gone your separate ways. We mean their family and friends who know them best.

After all, these are the people that will be giving you glowing recommendations to future boyfriends; the ones who will vouch for how great of a girlfriend you are.

12. Make sure he knows all about your past relationships

Picture this: the two of you have been together for a few months and everything is going great.

You’ve met his family, become Facebook friends with all of his college buddies, and now it’s time to take the next step in your relationship… But he doesn’t want to.

Why?

He’s totally freaked out because you’ve never told him about your past relationships and he thinks you must be hiding something really bad.

Don’t make this same mistake in your relationship.

Make sure there aren’t any surprises when the topic of exes comes up. Talk about your past relationships and make him comfortable taking the next step with you. However, you may decide not to be the first to bring up the issue.

13. Be okay with seeing him on a regular basis

In today’s age of technology, it seems like no one is ever too far away from their cell phone or tablet/laptop.

It’s easy to go days without actually spending any time together in person. If you want to find a boyfriend, your best bet is to take the time to be in his physical presence.

14. Be confident in your appearance

While it might seem like some guys can’t get enough of a girl in sweats and a ponytail, some men actually prefer more put together women.

If you want to find a boyfriend (who is worthy of sharing his love and affection), make sure you take the time to look good for him. Go to the gym, get a new hairstyle, and don’t be afraid to go all out with your makeup.

15. Treat him like he’s your best friend

Of course, you want to find a boyfriend who is good looking and successful, but don’t forget about the friendship factor. To make him yours for life, put as much effort into your relationship as you would if you were his lifelong best friend.

Find things you have in common with him and enjoy spending time just being with one another. Keep the conversation going when you guys are together so he never gets bored or tires of your company.

16. Be patient

Once you’ve found a guy who makes you feel special, don’t be so quick to screw it up by trying to rush the relationship into something it’s not.

Remember, finding a boyfriend is like growing a beautiful garden. If you try to rush the process by pulling out the flowers before they bloom, you’ll never get to see your hard work blossom.

Take your time getting to know one another and make sure he knows you want this relationship to last forever.

17. Flirt with him

Nothing shows that you’re interested in somebody more than flirting. Send him flirty text messages throughout the day, make sure you bat your eye lashes when he walks in the room, and make sure to use his name when you talk to him.

18. Dress to impress

Put some effort into your wardrobe and make sure that your clothes fit well and are flattering to your body type. Find the best pairs of jeans, skirts, and dresses that highlight your best qualities (and make you feel like a million bucks).

Sure, you might be totally comfortable in sweats all the time, but if you want to catch his attention for good, it’s important to look hot.

If you don’t make time for yourself and your personal appearance, how can you expect to be girlfriend material?

19. Give him space

Nobody likes smothering or being suffocated, so don’t text or tag him on social media constantly and never open up the conversation with messages about how much you miss him.

Instead, wait for him to come to you instead of bombarding him with messages. Even though it’s nerve-wracking, it will show that you trust him and are mature enough not to smother him.

20. Treat him like he’s your king

Nobody likes being treated poorly, so give him plenty of respect and show appreciation for everything that he does for you (and don’t nag him).

If he opens the door for you, let him know that you appreciate it. If he makes dinner reservations or plans a surprise weekend away, thank him profusely instead of waiting for him to do something first next time.

Remember, men need to be appreciated more than women do — especially if they feel like they’re not getting praised enough by their significant other.

21. Do good in your community

Nothing shows people that you’re a stand-up guy more than giving back. When you help others, it not only benefits them in the long run but also helps to show everyone else around you how caring and kindhearted you are.

This makes your significant other love you even more — and gives him more evidence of why he’s so lucky to have you.

22. Be honest

You don’t want him to feel like he can never trust you, so be honest about yourself and your life whenever possible — even if the truth might make you come off as less than perfect or whatever.

Be truthful when it comes time to talk about your family, friends, past relationships, etc. Don’t be afraid to admit your mistakes — it will only help you grow as a person and make it easier for him to trust you more.

Most importantly, don’t be afraid to speak up if something bothers you! Nobody wants to deal with someone who’s passive aggressive or tries to play games because nobody likes being messed around with.

23. Have self-respect

No one likes dating someone who feels like they’re not worth it or even worse — someone who doesn’t respect themselves.

Even if you happen to be in a relationship, don’t change yourself to make him happy (or anybody else for that matter). Be proud of your accomplishments and feel good about the person you are.

Loving yourself is the first step to loving somebody else and showing them that you’re worth it — instead of relying on someone else for happiness, make sure you follow the steps above to make yourself happier (and build a better life for yourself).

Once he sees how amazing you are without him, he’ll hopefully realize why you’re so special and want to be a part of your life.

24. Don’t give up

If you want to find a boyfriend, don’t give up if things aren’t working out. Keep trying and eventually, you’ll succeed.

Even if you’re looking for a serious relationship, it’s important to be patient and not let setbacks get you down.

That being said, don’t keep someone hanging around that makes you feel like crap or doesn’t appreciate all your efforts to make them happy. There are plenty of other people out there who will (and deserve) the chance to put a smile on your face.

And if you think all hope is lost, rest assured that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. There’s always someone out there for everyone, but it’s up to you to find them and make something great happen.

Dropping your standards isn’t going to help anybody — so keep trying and keep your hopes up. Whatever you do, don’t just give up on love.

Final word

Do you find yourself constantly wondering how to find a boyfriend? You’re not alone. A lot of girls and women feel the same way.

But don’t worry, I’m here to help.

In this blog post, we have revealed some of the secrets to finding a boyfriend. So, whether you’re single and ready to mingle, or you’ve been single for a while and are starting to feel frustrated, read carefully. You never know, these tips might just help you find The One.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading this. Feel free to join my newsletter. Grab our free e-book on how to create a better version of yourself.

If you’d like to support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member through my referral link. It’s $5 per month. You will get unlimited access to stories on Medium. Click here to sign up. If you sign up using my link, I’ll earn a small commission.