The Secret To A Lasting Marriage
Every long-term relationship, whether it’s marriage or friendship sits on something so small, yet so significant; change can topple it.
Sheri was relaxing watching the sunset while listening to a group of males and females complaining about being unable to maintain long-term relationships.
“Everyone in a lasting relationship, there is a secret to why and how it last,” one of the females said.
“I don’t think so,” another female disputed. “Love dies like everything else in life.”
“But some persons managed to get it to last until death-do-us-part,” a male reminds.
“Unintentionally and intentionally for some on the death-do-us-part,” someone adds.
“Not a lot though,” a female voice said. “Because some of these men murder their wives.
“It cuts both ways,” a male throws in.
“More men do it,” she argues back.
“There got to be a reason why their love lasts,” someone in deep thought said, shoving the topic back on track.
“Of course, there is,” Another male suggests.
Sheri slowly turned her head to the right without moving the rest of her body, so she could hear everything they said. Her eyes were still focused on the sun as it slowly bade goodbye to her side of the world.
“Sometimes there is just one tiny thing that he or she loves about their partner. Very small, but powerful and strong enough, like a vice grip, it holds that marriage together for a long time,” a voice closer to Sheri, said.
“So, it’s more than love,” someone else asks.
“I think so,” a female admits.
“I agree because I am more than sex,” another female protested.
“So, there is a secret,” a male voice states.
“Unfortunately, none of us can answer that question because none of us have been able to maintain a lasting relationship,” another voice reminds them.
Sheri has been married for thirty-seven years. Her brain began to stir, wondering how and why.
Sitting in her living room beside Ian, her husband, she turned off the TV and asked, “What one thing that you love about me that you still love, and keeps you here?”
A smile emerged, and Ian said without effort, “I love how you stayed inside and talked to no one.”
Shock held Sheri briefly, and she said, “you loved the fact that I am an introvert.”
“I don’t care what you call yourself. You socialize with no one. You don’t discuss any private moments in our more than thirty-year marriage with anyone. Not even your family. Everything in our home, that happens in our home, stays in our home. I don’t have to share you with anyone, except our children. I don’t have to worry about our neighbors or anyone knowing anything I don’t want them to know that happened between us. I love that part,” Ian stressed.
Sheri’s mouth popped open as her eyes widened.
“Plus, I have no competition because you hardly talk to anyone, and only speak if you must. Well, except to me and our kids. Honey, you are perfect and have all of my heart!”
Sheri’s mouth dropped and he went on.
“You allow me to be me without fear. I never had to pretend around you, even when I am stupid. You don’t judge or criticize me. Plus, you just get better and gooder as the years roll by.”
Grinning like a teenager in love, Sheri said, “Gooder is not a real word.”
Smiling, Ian begged, holding on to Sheri’s hands, staring into her eyes, “Please, don’t change.”
With a mischievous smile, Sheri teased, “so, if I want to get rid of you, to marry a handsome millionaire, all I have to do is to become an extrovert?”
“Become an extro, what?”
“Become you,” she rebounds.
The confusion on his face, she elaborates, “studies have shown that couples in long term relationships will switch personality with their partner.”
“You mean I could become you and you become me,” he asked staring at her in shock.
Sheri nods grinning.
Ian stared at his wife as the smile recedes, then said in deep thought, “damn, that’s how many marriages failed, someone change the order.”
“It’s not deliberate. Change is a must as we age,” she informs.
“But I don’t want you out there without me,” he protested.
“You go out and enjoy yourself and socialize with everyone without me,” she reminds him.
“I am a guy,” slipped from the wrong side of his brain.
He apologized as her expression changed, and then he complimented, “I like the fact that you mind your own business and stay out of everyone’s way.”
“But you don’t,” she reminds him.
“That’s because I am different.”
“And so am I,” she said.
“It’s just the thought of you being me is frightening,” he admits.
“Why?”
“I don’t think I would love you if you were like me,” he confesses.
“So, you hate yourself?” Sheri asked.
“Being me, works for me. And being you works for me too,” he reveals.
“So, it’s all about you and what you want?” Sheri questioned, staring into her husband’s eyes.
“Changing the order can be dangerous,” he said fear in his heart.
Sheri reached over, hugged Ian, and said, “You don’t have to worry, I love me. And I love how you treat me. I have no intention of messing up the order.”
His smile returned and he turned the TV back on. Then she went to the kitchen.
Minutes later, Ian rushed in, and said, “what handsome millionaire are you planning to leave me for?”
Sheri burst out laughing, pouring orange juice into her glass, then said, “If there was one, the time you took to realize, I would be married already.”
“Please,” Ian begged, pulling her into his arms, and staring into her eyes. “Don’t change who you are. You are perfect for me.”
“And what do I get in return?” Sheri bargains.
“A handsome guy,” he taunts back. “One out of two isn’t bad.”
Sheri smiled, hugging him, “Your heart is worth billions, so you are rich and don’t know it.”
Yes, every long-term relationship, whether it’s marriage or friendship sits on something so small, yet so significant; change can topple it. Knowing it and its value is power.
This piece is dedicated to LOVE! Inspired by my husband telling me what he liked about me.
#relationship #love #humor
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