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Abstract

estions and faithless mind were turning into self-loathing and anxiety.</p><p id="83dc">Why must I always teach life lessons?</p><p id="4a7e">Why must I always lead the sheep?</p><p id="fa0f">Why do I always have to get back up with broken bones and keep on smiling?</p><p id="f99f">Why must I always be so lonely, why is love never given back to me?</p><p id="6ced">I was sick of hearing, “You’re the strongest person I know,” because I don’t want to be; or, “You’ll figure it out,” just because I’ve had to previously. I’ve been knocked down so often, my face on the floor became comforting. Then I read the most beautiful words,</p><blockquote id="e020"><p><b>“…Our soulds leave the great all to take human form we contract with the universe to experience painful things on earth that are spiritual so we can learn…”</b></p></blockquote><p id="0a90">I felt heard — that someone or something had finally listened and given me the answers to all my questions. And right when I needed them. Just like that, faith and spirituality started the journey of restoration.</p><p id="1e6b">They say as long as man has a why, he can endure many tragedies. Maybe I am meant to teach whatever life lesson it is someone needs when they happen to know me. Maybe that is my purpose and in that thought, I reconnected with my spirituality.</p><p id="f9e5">Here are a few of the articles that have also helped inspire this response to the lovely <a href="undefined">Marcus aka Gregory Maidman</a> Sunday Spiritual prompt.</p><div id="2c46" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/why-is-it-so-easy-for-people-to-believe-the-most-obvious-lies-yet-require-proof-of-god-339a2a07cc4f"> <div> <div> <h2>Why is it so Easy for People to Believe the Most Obvious Lies yet Require Proof of God?</h2> <div><h3>Conversely, Why Does this Walking BS Detector not Believe 90% of Peoples’ Claims Yet Firmly Believe in Eternal Souls…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*_aRGIjRiHnfKiuui)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="9589" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/life-is-school-for-the-soul-9b081dbe8453"> <div> <div> <h2>Life Is School for the Soul</h

Options

2> <div><h3>A reader asked me: “What if upon reincarnation the person is still a narcissist?” I clarify my thoughts on…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*TGnMkTcoBhN5TfpJIjYL5A.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="5422" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/spiritual-prompt-for-the-week-of-march-20th-through-march-26th-86216651cfff"> <div> <div> <h2>Spiritual Prompt for the Week of March 20th through March 26th</h2> <div><h3>Let’s take a look at the purpose of lifecycles aided by a quote from Hermann Hesse’s Steppenwolf</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*P2360qgQsJJ6cVssAAlA0w.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="323e">Take a look at my other responses to the Spiritual Prompts hosted in Promptly Written by <a href="undefined">Ravyne Hawke</a>, and created by <a href="undefined">Marcus aka Gregory Maidman</a> every Sunday!</p><div id="b481" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-correct-prayer-3a6eba8a4122"> <div> <div> <h2>The Correct Prayer</h2> <div><h3>Spiritually Prompted Response</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*kzeX8SfvjqNIwgbbStt25w.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="bac7" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-gives-us-meaning-db06f1bd99f"> <div> <div> <h2>What Gives Us Meaning</h2> <div><h3>If not the freedom of choice</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*UzXpRFSASICo0Ll5W8rVZg.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

The Purpose In Me

Spiritual prompt response

I struggled with spirituality before even walking into the rooms. They say without faith, works are dead, so I was already doomed, to be stuck in these revolving doors never quite grasping what I needed to do.

My battle with “God” began with my mom’s addiction. Why would “someone” who supposedly loved me give me such an ugly story? Why would a being so “all-knowing” give this afflicted woman 7 innocent children?

As life went on these thoughts were reinforced with every tragedy God gave me.

I veered off course, I started running my own show. I shut down, trampled on, and buried any notion and mention of a higher being near me. “He’s just a manipulative bastard,” is how I started thinking.

I mean were they really blessings or just the results of hard work put in? Is it really a miracle or something we just haven’t discovered with science yet?

When my sister died by suicide, that did it for me,

God was dead.

How could there ever be a reason for such a young and special life to be taken? Then he took my mom, I thought, he’s got to be joking! Just when she was discovering sobriety I got a phone call — she wasn’t breathing.

In that moment all faith left my body.

That was 2019.

2 and a half years clean has given me some clarity.

I don’t hold as much hatred in my heart since my last stay in treatment. A new door to spirituality opened when I learned I could change “God’s” definition to my own understanding.

The first time I read Mystical Meredith's interpretation, I felt as if I had been wrapped in a blanket of understanding. I have spent my entire life always struggling, getting hit with obstacle after obstacle — no rest stop on this road to insanity.

Just endless compliments on the strength and wisdom I had inside of me for such a young lady.

The words in that article came to me right when my questions and faithless mind were turning into self-loathing and anxiety.

Why must I always teach life lessons?

Why must I always lead the sheep?

Why do I always have to get back up with broken bones and keep on smiling?

Why must I always be so lonely, why is love never given back to me?

I was sick of hearing, “You’re the strongest person I know,” because I don’t want to be; or, “You’ll figure it out,” just because I’ve had to previously. I’ve been knocked down so often, my face on the floor became comforting. Then I read the most beautiful words,

“…Our soulds leave the great all to take human form we contract with the universe to experience painful things on earth that are spiritual so we can learn…”

I felt heard — that someone or something had finally listened and given me the answers to all my questions. And right when I needed them. Just like that, faith and spirituality started the journey of restoration.

They say as long as man has a why, he can endure many tragedies. Maybe I am meant to teach whatever life lesson it is someone needs when they happen to know me. Maybe that is my purpose and in that thought, I reconnected with my spirituality.

Here are a few of the articles that have also helped inspire this response to the lovely Marcus aka Gregory Maidman Sunday Spiritual prompt.

Why is it so Easy for People to Believe the Most Obvious Lies yet Require Proof of God?

Conversely, Why Does this Walking BS Detector not Believe 90% of Peoples’ Claims Yet Firmly Believe in Eternal Souls…

medium.com

Life Is School for the Soul

A reader asked me: “What if upon reincarnation the person is still a narcissist?” I clarify my thoughts on…

medium.com

Spiritual Prompt for the Week of March 20th through March 26th

Let’s take a look at the purpose of lifecycles aided by a quote from Hermann Hesse’s Steppenwolf

medium.com

Take a look at my other responses to the Spiritual Prompts hosted in Promptly Written by Ravyne Hawke, and created by Marcus aka Gregory Maidman every Sunday!