The Powerful Effects of Hiding My Vulnerabilities and Emotions
We shouldn't go through life not knowing when to share or shield them.
Society often expects us to mainly display strength and resilience, making it uncomfortable for some to openly express vulnerabilities or emotions. While this can be particularly true in certain cultures or workplaces, we generally hide our vulnerabilities and emotions to serve various purposes and our reasons for doing are just as complex.
Vulnerability vs. emotional concealment
If my experiences have taught me anything it is, that life requires you to find a balance between sharing your inner feelings and thoughts (vulnerability) with people and keeping them private (emotional concealment) depending on the circumstances and your personal needs. Therefore, you need to make conscious decisions about when it’s appropriate to reveal your emotions and vulnerabilities and when you are better off keeping them to yourself. This balance will be your guiding star of wisdom and strength.
Apart from society’s expectations, people generally conceal emotions for a variety of other reasons like the loathing of the feeling of being judged or stigmatized, and expressing strong emotions often feels like a loss of control. Hiding vulnerabilities can also be a sort of protective mechanism because people believe that by not showing weakness, they can avoid exploitation or harm from others. Experience has also shown me this can be very true!
“Life requires you to find a balance between sharing your inner feelings and thoughts (vulnerability) with people and keeping them private (emotional concealment) depending on the circumstances and your personal needs.”
The effects
As with most things in life, hiding our vulnerabilities and emotions can have both positive and negative aspects depending on the context and specific situations.
First, the positives:
- It allows for maximum maintenance of composure. In my professional settings and in emergencies, maintaining emotional composure is of enormous advantage because that is how I get to make the rational decisions I need to make without being overwhelmed. So, at these times the ability to hold it in can be the difference between success and stumbling.
- Hiding strong negative emotions like anger or frustration prevents unnecessary conflicts and allows for smoother interactions and relationships. If I happen to be in a disagreement with a valued friend, even though I may be seething with frustration, taking a step back and concealing that immediate anger can prevent as escalation to a more heated argument. Hence by tempering my emotions, I preserve the harmony in our relationship while leaving room for healthier communication down the road.
- Keeping my vulnerabilities private provides the personal space and time to process feelings and thoughts first before sharing them with others. I am not denying them, but the space I have created for processing and understanding them on a deeper level facilitates my personal growth.
Some possible negatives:
- As you would expect, keeping emotions under wraps all the time can take a heavy toll on your mental health. Just imagine carrying the weight of unspoken fears or worries day in and day out. Over time, this emotional suppression can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. This brings to mind the idea of the balance we spoke of earlier: it’s crucial to recognize when it’s let those feelings breathe.
- The friendships and bonds you cherish the most will most likely be those that thrive on shared experiences, emotions, and vulnerabilities and if you hide your true self behind in the name of stoicism, you risk straining those valued connections. Authenticity is the glue that holds relationships together and too much concealment can erode it. Once again, balance.
- When you constantly live behind a mask, only showing the world a version of yourself that doesn’t really align with your true essence you can end up having to grapple with a deep sense of inauthenticity. Not to mention that, by not sharing vulnerabilities at the appropriate times we may miss out on the support and empathy of people close to us who can provide assistance or guidance. Consistently shielding our vulnerabilities can do that to us. So, to be authentic we need to take a different route: embrace our vulnerabilities when appropriate and allow ourselves to be real. That is the path to a more genuine and fulfilling life.
Settling on a pattern of sharing or shielding vulnerabilities and emotions is, however, a personal journey. And it is usually not a rigid choice but one that keeps evolving throughout our lives. However. understanding when to lean into vulnerability and when to protect ourselves is the key to finding that balance and strength. This is necessary because, as we have seen, hiding our vulnerabilities and emotions can be beneficial in certain situations, but expression can also lead to the sometimes necessary support from people close to us to help address and process those emotions and vulnerabilities.
Takeaways:
- It’s not inherently good or bad to hide vulnerabilities and emotions; it depends on the context and individual needs.
- Hiding vulnerabilities can sometimes protect you from exploitation by people who prey on weakness, help you maintain composure, avoid conflict, and enforce boundaries.
- Constantly keeping your emotions under wraps can take a heavy toll on your mental health, jeopardize your connections to people you cherish, and cause you to grapple with a deep sense of inauthenticity.
- Striking a balance between healthy self-expression and necessary emotional control is essential.
- Getting support when needed depends on finding appropriate outlets for our emotions to be able to maintain well-being and maintain our relationship effectively. Especially those that thrive on shared experiences, emotions, and vulnerabilities.
- Settling on a pattern of sharing or shielding our vulnerabilities and emotions is a personal journey. And it is usually not a rigid choice but one that keeps evolving throughout our lives.
