PERSONAL GROWTH / LIFE / PSYCHOLOGY
The Powerful Antidote To Disappointment In Life
If the life you want is never meant for you, would you relent?
Disappointment is inevitable in life. Some of them could be more severe and dampen your spirit.
Have you ever felt so tired of fighting with fate?
You believe that you could put up a good fight, but you were defeated sometimes or repeatedly for some unfortunate ones.
That’s how we are often told — do not put up with fate, fight with it and win the battle.
From my observations of half a century on earth, it may not always be a happy ending for many.
At times(or shall I say, oftentimes? it depends on the individual), life is like a naughty little boy who likes to play dark jokes on humans.
Story I: If it’s not meant for you, it just won’t happen
All this famous female singer ever wanted in her life was to have her own biological child. Yet, she failed again and again in all her relationships and passed away at a relatively young age succumbing to ovary cancer. Ironic, right?
She had everything most people wanted — a classic rags-to-riches story, from a very humble background to dazzling stardom. She had acquired fame, fortune, and a circle of good friends.
She accepted the fact that she would never have a family of her own after being bashed by the many rounds of failed relationships. Her only wish was to have a child of her own but this was never fulfilled.
She was a very strong-willed lady but she failed to win over fate, despite all her efforts.
Story II: A rash decision that caused him to miss ‘The One’
A middle-aged man was looking for a wife. He is a good man with integrity. However, he seemed unlucky in love. He was always being ditched by his potential girlfriend to another man.
He was trying his very last chance at love hoping to marry the girl that he likes. He was introduced to this attractive young lady. He was instantly attracted to her.
However, this attractive lady was spoiled with choices at such a young age. She took her own sweet time going around choosing the prince that she deemed the best for her.
This man felt that his curse struck again. He misinterpreted that this young lady was choosing other men who were better than him.
He threw his towel. “I’ll never get to marry the woman I like!”.
He decided to marry another plain older woman that was recommended by his mother, right before the young lady confessed that she fancied him.
However, his marriage arrangement was already proceeding.
There was no turning back, despite knowing that his future wife was never the type that he liked. He was hoping that both of them could work it out after the marriage. They both couldn’t wait any longer to have children and a family.
However, this never happened after thirty years passed and they both grew apart as the years went by.
He and the young lady remain friends and it only grew strong over the years. They both realize that they are a match for each other but are not meant to be together as a couple. Nothing can be done as their morals prevented them.
Can you see how fate plays dark humor on people at times?
Takeaway
So how do you handle your negative emotions and adopt the right mentality when let down by life, after you’ve done your very best?
Below are the suggestions from my personal experience:
1. God Proposes Man Disposes mentality
This is so cliche. Yet some people may find it hard to swallow these bitter pills.
We're only human, just do our best and leave what we cannot control to the unseen forces. If it doesn’t happen there are lessons to learn, or you need to adjust your expectations.
However, finding ways to accept it is the ultimate way to not torture yourself so that you can have peace of mind.
ACCEPTANCE is the antidote to this poison.
Never forget that Timing Is Everything In This World.
To achieve worldly success, it needs a combination of three factors — the right timing, the right place, and the right people(assuming your strategy is correct). Success cannot be achieved with any one of these missing, according to an ancient Chinese proverb.
2. Your Character Is Your Destiny ~ Lao Tzu
Character plays a vital importance in success. let’s hope that you’re not born as a very emotional character. Being too emotional will destroy your chances in life.
Never let emotion become your master. As difficult as it seems you must train yourself to score high in emotional intelligence.
Worldly success never belongs to the weaklings.
You need a strong will to stand a chance to win the battle with fate. You may be beaten many times before you could win, or have the will to accept defeat after you've done your very best.
Though a healthy body is important to achieve worldly success, it’s still possible with some physical defects (whether born with it or developed later in life), e.g. Stephen Hawkings, and other extraordinary men who were born ‘limbless’ have shown to achieve success.
One thing they all share in common is their astonishing steel-like strong will.
3. When One Door Closes, Another Opens ~ Alexander Graham Bell
Stay positive and be thankful for whatever happens to you be it good or bad. This will enable you to identify the new ‘door’ (opportunity) presented to you. Gratitude helps you to see this new door faster and move on.
References:
https://www.purewow.com/wellness/dealing-with-disappointment
https://www.betterup.com/blog/disappointment
https://hbr.org/2018/08/dealing-with-disappointment
https://www.inc.com/john-rampton/10-qualities-of-people-with-high-emotional-intelligence.html
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