Psychological & Spiritual Integration

The Power of the Enneagram

Unveiling the mystery of our own personality type, creating a deeper personal awareness, and recovering our own true nature

The Study of The Enneagram

I first learned of the enneagram many years ago in a therapy session. I then went and bought a book titled The Wisdom of the Enneagram, by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson. My therapist had mentioned after several sessions that she felt studying the enneagram could help me better understand my patterns in life and that it may help me dive deeper into better understanding my own true nature. She went on to explain that we all have a personality type and subtypes that we are born with, however through conditioning and programming often, we lose our innate spirit and take on other personality traits. So, for example I had learned to be a people pleaser in order to fit in with my family and therefor I was behaving as two on the enneagram, but that was not my true nature.

This therapist was truly a genius and gave me an incredible gift, the gift of self-study and getting back to my authentic self. She knew I was not going to get the answers I needed from her. So, I read the Enneagram book. I studied it keenly. I journaled about experiences in my life and after taking the quiz at the beginning of the book, she was correct. I was indeed an acting as 2 on the enneagram which is, The Helper.

“He who knows himself knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.” ~Lao Tzu

The Nine Personality Types

1. The Reformer
2. The Helper
3. The Achiever
4. The Individualist
5. The Investigator
6. The Loyalist
7. The Enthusiast
8. The Challenger
9. The Peacemaker

There are nine types of personalities in the Enneagram, and it is not religious, but serves to prove a common connection between all types. Meaning all one’s have similar personalities despite race, color, ethnicity, or religion and so on. We all can recognize a little of each type within us but have one predominant trait that we are born with. Each type has positive and negative qualities and has variations of best, average and worst. No type is better than any other type and we also have wings, or subtypes.

Opening the Door to Possibility Rather Than Labeling

I have had friends and clients say they do not believe in personality tests because they do not want to be “put into a box” well, I do not believe in labels, but I do not believe that is the purpose of personality tests, in fact I do not think it creates a box, but opens us up to unlimited possibilities and connects us to our higher self by explaining our natural weaknesses and strengths and once we are aware we can then make an effort to improve our behavior. In addition to studying the Enneagram, I have taken the Myer-Briggs test, studied the Archetypes, and taken other personality quizzes and I find them all very helpful in learning about myself as well as how I interact in relationships.

My Enneagram Type

Back to my Enneagram personality type when I first started learning about myself, which by the way, was also at the dawn of my yoga teacher training. This was a revolutionary time for me. It was very exciting, but also very scary because as I started to learn more about myself and practice self-love and acceptance, I also awoke to the fact that I was not as happy in my relationship as I once thought I was. Spiritual awakening is like growing pains in childhood, it hurts physically and mentally, but it is entirely necessary in order to level up in life.

According to The Wisdom of the Enneagram, the Type Two was the helper.

“Type Two: The Helper, The caring, interpersonal type. Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but they can also be sentimental, flattering, and people pleasing. They are driven to be close to others, and they often do things for others in order to be needed. They typically have a problem taking care of themselves and acknowledging their own needs. At their best, healthy twos are unselfish and altruistic and have unconditional love for themselves and others.”

So, I accepted the fact that I was a two. Was that so bad to be a helper? I was after all warm-hearted and generous. The problem was when I got honest with myself and realized after ten years of relentless self-study, divorce, and several failed relationships, I returned to the study of the Enneagram. Wow, major light bulb moment occurred.

Life is Not always What it Seems, Unveiling the Untruths to Reveal my Authenticity

Before a recent meeting with a client, I re-took the Enneagram quiz just to re-assess out of curiosity where I was on the personality chart. Sure enough I was quite surprised. I was no longer a two. In fact, I am now a Seven, the Enthusiast. My Therapist was correct. I was never a two after all. I was acting partially as a two due to contioning or a contact I felt I had to uphold with a possible narcissictic parent. So, I took on that role, when in fact that was not my true nature. The fact is you cannot ever change Enneagram Types, but you can change your behavior based on past programing and self-limiting patterns.

“Type Seven: The Enthusiast: The busy, productive type. Sevens are versatile, optimistic, and spontaneous. Playful, high spirited, and practical, they can also be overextended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but they can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with superficiality and impulsiveness. At their best, healthy Sevens focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming joyous, highly accomplished, and full of gratitude.

I completely resonated with what I tested for recently which was type seven. I have to admit this sounds quite accurate for me. I am very spontaneous, resilient, and on the move, scattered and undisciplined. I still love to help others, but I no longer seek outside validation like I did several years ago.

Another quote from , The Wisdom of the Enneagram,

“One of the profound lessons of the Enneagram is that psychological integration and spiritual realization are not a separate process. Without spirituality, psychology cannot really free us or lead us to the deepest truths about ourselves, and without psychology, spirituality can lead to grandiosity, delusion, and an attempt to escape from reality. The Enneagram is neither dry psychology nor fuzzy mysticism but a tool for transformation that uses the clarity and insight of psychology as a point of entry into a profound and universal spirituality.”

Life comes in ebbs and flow. We may not understand a lot of our thoughts and emotions because many of them are subconscious. The other part of that is a lot of what rises to the surface and hijacks our amygdala are unconscious childhood messages and each personality Type in the Enneagram has a childhood message associated with it. For example:

The Type Two Childhood Message: I’s not okay to have your own needs.

The Type Seven Childhood Message: It is not okay to depend on anyone for anything”

Enneagram and Relationships

I find this very interesting because in my current quest for a happy healthy relationship I have pushed my partner away when they wanted me to rely on them. Now that I am aware I need to work on trusting myself as well as trusting that I can rely on them. The Enneagram is loaded with deep messages and helpful knowledge and wisdom that is helping me to grow into a better version of myself. I have got to stop self-sabotaging.

I am now aware that each type has a healthy, average, and unhealthy variation. I have been in all three categories at various points of my life and can relate, maybe you can too. It all makes perfect sense once I can see it all before me. Now I just have to break the self-limiting patterns that are standing before me and my desires to reach the next level of my life. It is most important to practice awareness. I am open with the parts of myself that I do not enjoy and that I am not proud of. This is how I grow. Then I practice acceptance and forgiveness. Next, I know I need to be patient with myself as I enter this next phase of life learning to ask others for help and allowing them to support me. I now know I can depend on others.

I hope that You have enjoyed learning about the Enneagram. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. Life is not linear it is a dance where we take one step forward and several backwards, but the important part is to keep moving. When we are in flow with life rather than resitance it becomes so much easier. So, thank you for being a part of my journey. Life is always better with good company. Thank you for putting up with my flaws.

Gratitude

I want to thank Sahil Patel for having the courage and the forsight to start this new publication. I love the concept and imagery behind the Summit. Also, Dr. Preeti Singh, Dr Mehmet Yildiz, Marcus, Ravyne Hawke, and Diana C. thank you for being so supportive and inspiring. You go above and beyond not only for me, but for many other people here and I am sure also in life. You are truly all outstanding people and I am honored to know you and to call you friends. Thank you for inspiring me, helping me and pushing me to be a better writer and honestly a better person.

Please register for my emails so that we can stay conected. I would also love for you to join me on Instagram. I am getting ready for an epic trip where I am so incredibly excited to go meet someone I have known for about six years through IG and I am finally going to meet this beautiful soul in person. She started her yoga journey after following me on instagram and claims it not only saved her marriage, but changed her life. Julie (I have her permission to link and share her page as well) was the inspiration for my story If I were a Tree and You Were a Forest Animal.

One last tidbit of writing love for you! If you are interested in making a little extra cash for the holidays…. I would encourage you to join me in a contest on Vocal the deadline is December 29th at midnight. Your Fiction story can be between 600–4000 words and you can enter as many times as you wish. You can even repurpose a story you have already written here on Medium. They are giving $125,000 total in prized distributed to 25 people winning $5000 each. Not too shabby friends! It is worth a shot or two, and I am not talking about tequila. I do get a small referral just to be completely transparent. I submitted by tree story.

Let’s kick off the week on a positive note and let that momentum pull us through the week. Diwali is coming and that indeed is the celebration of light over dark, victory of good over evil.