The Ordinary Instant of an Extraordinary 2023

An invitation to come with me on a new journey.

If Vincent van Gogh hadn't had his brother, Theo, we would have never heard of van Gogh. Of course, Theo was not just an admiring brother. He was also one of the nineteenth century's most influential art dealers.

Recently, I have been chewing on this thought — how much of art is talent, and how much is having that one influential person who believes in you?

For the last three years, Medium has been my Theo.

I came to this platform without any social media following. I can't tell you how hard it is to succeed as a writer if you don't play the social media game. Bloomsbury once insisted I join Instagram as part of an impending book deal. Of course, I capitulated. And then I took a metaphorical shower. I felt dirty for months.

Writers make these Faustian bargains all the time. We have to.

So, for whatever reason, Medium chose to promote a B-listed author with no social media platform. And I am truly grateful. As I approach 130K followers, I am also grateful to readers who have supported my work.

But lately, I am getting that "something wicked this way comes" sense of foreboding. I look back at my older articles, and they are edgier than my newer ones. Now, when I sit down to write, I am constantly worried that Medium’s gatekeepers will think my tone is too punchy or the topic has not been properly sanitized.

Kurt Vonnegut said, "Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia."

Yeah, so lately, I am hacking up a tuberculosis lung. I am writing to please too many people — readers, nominators, boosters, publication editors, my parents, my imposter syndrome inner child. Ugh! There are too many voices screaming in my head.

I only want to write for readers.

We have statistics telling us which articles are shared and read the most. My best-performing articles (over 100K views) have always been about sex and relationships.

However, I confess I have been shamelessly tricking readers for the last three years. Many of you would show up for my sexuality articles, and then just when I had you panting for more bubblegum-colored penis and vagina illustrations…I would pull the ole' bait n' switch and fire off a depressing read on why men are committing suicide.

I call this the hidden vegetable approach. When my son was a chubby baby warlord, I couldn't get him to eat a single green leafy substance. I am convinced he believed I was secretly trying to poison him with broccoli. So I did what all mothers do when faced with insurmountable childhood obstinance — I tricked him.

I steamed and pureed cruciferous poison into every meal. (You would be amazed at how much cauliflower you can sneak into mac n' cheese.)

But lately, I got no cheese whiz to tempt you with.

Since introducing the Boost program, Medium is no longer promoting any of my sexuality articles. And to get my feminist pieces boosted (shown to readers), I have to placate nominators (the gatekeepers) who do not share my un-bitchified views on feminism. Consequently, my sexuality and feminist articles are no longer being shown to readers.

Let's face it. Everyone is curious about sex, but a feminist rant is a harder sell.

I can't tell you why Medium made this decision. I have never been allowed to sit at the popular table. (I applied to be a nominator twice but was rejected.) But given how passionate I am about improving the abysmal level of sex education in this country, I no longer feel I belong on this platform.

To be clear, I am really hoping Medium will lift this gag order in 2024. I am going to continue to give readers my best work. But I will also be slowly dipping my toe into new waters in 2024.

First, I have joined Substack and will launch Conversation with Carlyn after the new year.

Yes, I cringe at that egocentric newsletter title too. But it describes exactly what I want to do — have intimate conversations with readers about sex, feminism, equality, history, culture, and modern love. I always say the mark of a successful article is if your comments section is more interesting than your article. I plan to have some fierce discussions in the Substack comment section in 2024.

My diabolical plan is to put racier articles on Substack and the squeaky clean, Windexed pieces on Medium. My Substack will be a mix of paid and free content. I will publish every Wednesday and Sunday. Wednesdays will be recycled Medium articles, and Sundays will be new content for paid readers.

If you have not joined my Substack newsletter, subscribe here.

If you prefer to read only my Medium articles, subscribe here.

Second, I need to get my next book proposal to my agent. She is also my Theo. Book proposals are very time-consuming, so if I disappear from Medium for a few weeks, you know why. I will return.

One of my favorite Joan Didion quotes is, "Life changes in the instant. The ordinary instant." It's one of the reasons why I have always loved this platform. On Medium, a writer's entire career might change in an instant. That article goes viral because it pulled on an influential person’s heartstrings or that one agent or editor takes a chance on your raw talent.

I hope you have many extraordinary instants in 2024.

Carlyn Beccia is an award-winning author and illustrator of 13 books. For past articles grouped by subject, see my Table of Contents.

Update! I am launching Conversations with Carlyn soon to have more open and honest conversations with readers about sex, love, feminism, culture, and the latest science behind our most intimate human interactions.

If you enjoyed this article, please support my research and writing by becoming a paid pledge.