The One Word Teachers Shouldn’t Say In Front of Students
No, not that one. Why saying ‘don’t’ may disrupt classroom management.
The brain is a fascinating muscle isn’t it?
The way it processes words can really make the difference as to how we respond to what we hear on a day to day basis.
And so today, I want to discuss a popular word that teachers may often say in the classroom without thinking of its effect on students and classroom management.
I made the connection myself after listening to one motivational speaker discuss with his audience the impact of the word “don’t” on the brain.
It never dawned on me that this word “don’t” can actually translate to the word “do” in our minds.
Come to think of it, as I write this article, I remember seeing videos of parents testing the effects of the word “don’t” out on their children.
The “Don’t Touch the Candy” Test
Here’s an example of a popular video I’ve seen on social media recently.
This “test” starts out with parents placing candy in front of their toddlers and a parent would say “don’t touch the candy until I come back” and disappears for what may seem like an eternity to the child, but in actuality may only be 30 seconds or less.
You’re then left to watch this child wait in agony until the parent comes back.
You really end up feeling sorry for the child.
I’ve seen some children pass this test, while others failed as soon as the parent left the room.
I remember one video with two little boys that when their dad left the room gave each other a cheeky smile that said “he’s joking” and when the younger one reached for the candy, the older one followed suit and they began eating the candy, looking at each, and laughing.
If we dive a little deeper into this test, could it have any connection to the way parents raise their children?
If parents are inconsistent with the rules they present to their children, could it be that saying “don’t” doesn’t have as much of an impact as when children consistently know that when mom or dad says “don’t” — it’s for a good reason.
To prove my point, I saw another video of a father try to convince his son to take a certain lollipop and eat it, but the child absolutely refused to touch the lollipop because his mom told him the dangers that could happen if he ate such lollipop.
This child really didn’t want to be caught going against his mother’s rules about lollipops and actually ended up running away from his father who was encouraging him to break the rule.
Therefore, a likely conclusion to this would suggest that parents who remain steadfast in raising their children with viable rules consistently may find that saying “don’t” works as it should.
It translates into the brain “do” be good and reap the rewards.
And for teachers, these students are usually the blessings they need when it comes to establishing classroom rules.
The Do’s and Dont’s of Classroom Rules
I recently taught a lesson on classroom etiquette to students and on one side of the board I wrote the word “don’t” and on the other side I wrote “do” with the words classroom etiquette in the middle.
Etiquette is a nice word when you think of it. It means the rules of polite behavior that people in society or as members of a particular group abide by.
If you just abide by the “dos” and avoid the “don’ts”, then all will be well.
Knowing what I know about the word “don’t” I asked the students to start with this list and tell me 5 points to write down.
So in making their list of “don’ts” on the topic of classroom etiquette, students came up with:
- Don’t be late
- Don’t talk while others are talking
- Don’t show disrespect in the classsroom
- Don’t come to class unprepared
- Don’t break any classroom rules
So in turning the “don’ts” into “do’s” we can also help to shift the mindset of students and turn classroom etiquette into classroom rules.
In creating the list of “do’s”, I asked the students to change the don’ts into do’s.
And so naturally the list turns into:
- Do come to class on time
- Do listen while others are talking
- Do show respect in the classroom
- Do come to class prepared
- Do follow all classroom rules
So you can see being consistent starts with mindset and word choice.
Teachers need only take the list of “do’s” that students helped create in the classroom and use that to remind them better outcomes happen when we dedicate our time to a positive mindset and postive word choices.
If teachers start with “don’t”, students may see it as an opportunity to disrupt the classroom management and act upon what the teacher doesn’t want them to act on.
Consistency is Key
In establishing rules to the classroom, being consistent in reinforcing these rules is key to building the classroom community that is safe for teaching and learning to take place.
Students may not be intentional in forgetting classroom rules but they do respond to a teacher who is consistent in reminding them that the rules are there for a reason and it is for the benefit to their learning.
So as part of being consistent with what they need to do in the classroom, teachers should work to establish the consequences for not following the rules.
The consequences should be realistic in terms of what makes sense if a student does not want to follow the rules.
Consequences that are discussed with the students are easier to enforce because teachers can remind students that the ideas came from them.
As an important part of consequences, students should be aware and understand that any disruptions students cause in the classroom not only affect that particular student but all other students in the classroom.
When students are aware of this and accept this, then they should be mature enough to take responsibility for their actions in the classroom.
So a viable first step is to have students understand that a verbal warning should be enough to have them understand that their behavior needs to change for the better after this warning and no further action should be taken.
Then if the students need further reminding, then it should be documented and students should reflect in written form about their behavior and how it can impact on everyone else in the classroom.
And if teachers remain firm and consistent in establishing consequences along with the rules, then students should understand that rules in the positive sense are meant to be beneficial for everyone in the classroom.
A Final Message on Classroom Management
In establishing classroom rules with students, teachers can have students be at their best when it comes to being ready to learn.
Rules help to create a safe classroom community that teachers and students can help manage together.
However, the idea that teachers are the sole individuals in charge of the establishing and maintaining classroom management is one that is bound to fail and may lead to student behavior problems in the classrooms.
Classroom management works best when teachers work alongside students in establishing the rules with a positive mindset and word choices so that students’ can see that the ownership is on everyone in the classroom to keep it safe and manageable.
If you enjoyed this article, please consider reading my other articles on classroom management.
