The Ministry of Silly Walks

thank you Adrian CDTPPW for your Rainy Day Prompts #8: Today’s subject — walking styles. Do you or someone you know have a funny or bizarre walk? Describe the walk.

I have oft been accused of needing to join the revered Ministry of Silly Walks. It certainly depends on my mood, my physical energy level, and the atmosphere, but I have a variety of silly walks, as any applicant should.

I started out with a cautious toe-to-heel walk, which prompted the other children at school to either compare me to a cat or call me a princess, depending on who was saying it or what I was doing when they noticed. I tried to stop walking that way out of embarrassment, but I didn’t completely break myself of that. In fact, I just added other more ridiculous walks to the roster.

Of course like any silly walker I used to love to skip, especially into puddles and the like, but my knees can’t handle that sort of thing these days. I also developed an aversion to being damp. I pretty much have a meltdown over it, so no more skipping in the rain for me.

I have the ball change step, a rhythmic combination of a step forward onto the ball of the front foot, a momentary step back, and then proceeding with the step forward.

I have a kicking march. It is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a very structured walk. Raising of the leg, extending of the calf, retracting it back, placing the foot on the floor, and repeating the process moving forward.

There is the alternating sideways slide, also fairly self-explanatory. shuffling sideways with one foot, sliding the other to meet it, pivoting 180 degrees, and repeating the pattern.

Most of these are predicated on music, really if there is music on, I could break into dance and or song at any moment, I am a real-life walking musical like that. It doesn’t always have to be playing aloud, I could just be humming a tune in my head, but usually I like to be able to hear it. I don’t know if you have noticed, but a lot of places have music playing in the background.

Of course, the more likely silly walk these days is a slow, stunted gait, with one limpy knee and the occasional sudden crash to the floor due to my traveling kneecaps and general hypermobility that wasn't properly supported for years. That is why I have started working much harder and exercising every day, I am tired of being so weak, and having such a lame walk, pun intended.

K.B. Silver

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Thank you for reading!