The Making of a Difficult Woman
The story too many of us share
I have read this kind of story too many times.
The main character is a woman who didn’t know she could take the lead role in her life. Everybody around her had opinions on what she should do, the correct way to behave, and even what to believe in.
I have read this kind of story too many times., and yet, it’s never quite the same. But there’s always a woman…
Setting
Once upon a time, there was a girl — eager to learn, to discover what the world was all about. She loved to run, jump, scream in delight, and ask difficult questions.
To most, she was a wild girl. Too wild.
Most of the grown-ups around her decided they needed to help her. They knew that, if she kept going like this, once she grew up, she would be deemed a difficult woman. She would struggle to get friends, a partner, or even a job.
Therefore, with the best of intentions — and also in fear — they did their best to tame her. This, of course, was not an easy task.
To tame the girl, they had to crush her spirit, shame her when she expressed pleasure and joy, and hurt her whenever she tried to take over her own fate. It was the only way…
It wasn’t easy, but with so many people helping around — parents, teachers, mass media — success was pretty much guaranteed.
Even when her body changed and new feelings arrived, she knew she had to be quiet and pleasant.
She was a good girl now.
Conflict
She turned 18. She was a woman now… that’s what so many people kept on telling her after taking a look at her body. They did it, of course, because this body didn’t really belong to her.
This body had been made to please the rest of the community. She was told she had to be smooth, hairless, curvy in the right places, and skinny in others. Her body was to be available for consumption, not so much she might become a whore, not so little she showed she was a prude.
She listened to what everybody said…everybody else always knew what was convenient for good girls like her.
She figured the rest of her life would forever be like this. She was so young, and yet, her fate was sealed. However, on a fine morning, something unusual happened.
She came face to face with a difficult woman. She knew she had to call her that because that’s the label people attached to her.
And, oh, boy, did this woman live up to her nickname… The things she did!
She asked questions — of the uncomfortable kind. She said, “no,” when she was not interested in doing something that had been asked of her. She wanted to pursue her passions and be at the top of her game. She took her time to choose the right partner for her. She publicly stated she wasn’t sure whether or not she would have children.
Such a difficult woman…
The good girl looked around. She could see how almost everybody disapproved of this woman. They called her names and tried to show her where she truly belonged. Clearly, it was dangerous to be a difficult woman. Still, something had been stirred in the girl’s mind.
A seed of enlightenment had been planted in her heart.
She didn’t know it was possible for a woman to do so many things, to dare to be so much, to risk to be everywhere and speak aloud. And now she couldn’t stop thinking about this.
At this point, a narrator would have said, “the plot thickens…”
Rising Action
The girl kept on trying to be good. Still, she couldn’t help to notice that most of her efforts were not really for her benefit.
Her silence protected the predators. Her intelligence was taken advantage of. Her talents were milked to benefit a few powerful ones. Her sexuality was used, even if she gained no pleasure from it. If she had children, for some reason, it would appear as if they only belonged to her…she might as well had been a single mother, for her partner left her alone in the little adventure called parenting.
The seed in her came to life. Suddenly, she felt the urgent need to ask uncomfortable questions and to raise her voice a little bit too much for other people’s comfort.
It felt good…and she couldn’t stop.
Climax
Once she learned she could challenge her reality, she wanted more. She desired to be the owner of her life. She ached to take her gifts and let them reach new heights. She listened to her voice, the real one, and loved its sound.
People got, shall we say, uncomfortable.
“You used to be so nice, and now you are so selfish. You used to be so kind; now you look angry all the time. You used to be a good girl, but now you are so difficult to deal with…”
A few of her friends left her. For a moment, her career got stalled — nobody wanted to work with a difficult woman. Her own family threatened to abandon her.
She doubted herself…could it be that she had made a huge mistake?
Then, as the mob repudiated her, she spotted a quiet, little girl. They locked eyes. And she knew this little girl had been given the gift of a new seed of enlightenment.
Falling Action
She lost some friends. She truly loved them, so she will miss them. Maybe she even had to say goodbye to her partner, since they refused to let her soar.
She decided to embrace her identity. “I am a difficult woman,” she said to herself and smiled.
She acknowledged it was her job to make a raucous. To claim her soul and find those who shared her cause.
Resolution
Her story has not ended: she keeps on fighting.
She can see now that she is not difficult; she is powerful. The others, the ones that want her to go back to her old ways, complain because they can’t keep up. Her strength unnerves them; they have no idea what to do about it.
No, she is not difficult. She is not nasty. Yes, she was a bit angry at first, but she used that passion to fuel her appetite for freedom.
She is liberated. She is, finally, herself. She is a woman…and her story has just begun.