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Abstract

not the point. The thing is, when I’m doing housework, I just want to get it done as fast as possible because it consumes a lot of my time and energy.Sometimes, it’s already 5 pm when I finish all of the wife stuff I’m supposed to do. At that moment, I’m tired, a bit pissed, and perhaps even hungry. Yeah, beneath all of that, I might be a little bit horny, but since I’m in survival mode, that excitement will die down.I may want to have sex, but I’m too damn exhausted.You say you get that and then offer to help me. “Just tell me what I can do for you. Everything would be easier if you just spoke up,” you have replied in the past.Oh, boy!<h1 id="fcc3">Bandwith</h1>So, I do a lot of stuff every day. Not only that, but I have to keep track of everything that goes on in this house.I am, in fact, the freaking house manager. If I don’t schedule it, it doesn’t happen. If I don’t organize it, it won’t get done.Do you have any idea how exhausting that is?My brain can barely keep up as it is. And now, on top of that, I have to tell you what needs to be done?Boy, all you have to do is pay attention.Go to the kitchen. You will see there are some dishes there. Here’s a tip you should be able to remember: if the dishes are in the same room as you are, then it would be a magnificent idea to get them washed. Don’t ask me if I need you to clean them. Don’t make a big display of how hard it was for you to do it. Heck, don’t even tell me you did it.To quote a famous slogan, “just do it.”Our kid needs some help with his homework? Guess what? You can do it — no need to ask for my permission or call

Options

me. Go ahead.In other words, behave as if you were a grown man who has to keep his home clean and fully operational. Oh, and by the way, that’s exactly who you are. Do you really need me to remind you of that?<h1 id="2be1">Consequences</h1>So, let’s say you realized you are an adult and decided to behave like one. You go grocery shopping when you see it is necessary to do so. You start doing laundry, our laundry, which of course, includes folding and putting clothes away.Best of all, you do it not because you are helping me, but because <a href="https://readmedium.com/3-things-women-want-more-than-a-nice-relationship-5fb655d52466">this is our home, and it falls onto both of us to keep it like a good place to live</a>. You don’t try to make it look as if I owed you something.I don’t.Once this happens, you will become aware of something. First of all, since I’m no longer carrying the whole weight of running a house, not only do I have more free time, but I also find myself less tired. It will clear my bandwidth. That’s definitely going to help my horniness come to the surface.Second, even though you won’t tell me what you have been doing, I will see it. And I’m not just talking about the clean dishes or the folded clothes.I will notice you. A man who understands we are equals. A man who respects my time and effort. A man who shares responsibilities with me.That’s sexy AF.So, no, it won’t be the sight of you cleaning the toilet what will get me off. Instead, it will be the knowledge that you truly are my partner. My companion. And trust me, I’m gonna want to hit that!</article></body>

Doing Household Chores Is Not Sexy

But being a true partner could be

Nope, he is not sexy (photo by Kladyk from iStock)

Hello, my dear, I’m back from running some errands.

I put on my mask, got some groceries, picked up that new hose we need, and paid the bills. Now, I’m back home and have to do the laundry, wash the dishes, and cook.

Doing this doesn’t bother me per se. The problem, dear, is that now I’m back, you asked why haven’t we had sex in a while. “Don’t you find me sexy anymore?” was your question.

*sighs*

I told you I was overwhelmed with work and household errands. That I was tired and just not in the mood. You nodded a lot, so I assumed you understood.

The next day, you cleaned the kitchen floor. I know because you made a big fuss about it. “See, I helped you. Do I look sexy now?”

*sighing intensifies*

Ok, dude, sit down. Here’s what you need to get into your head.

No, cleaning the floor is not sexy

I have cleaned a lot of floors. I have also done the dishes tons of times. I have cooked thousands of meals and folded an infinite amount of laundry.

I have never felt sexy doing that. You know why? Because it isn’t.

Ok, I get it, maybe in porn they can make it look hot, but that’s not the point. The thing is, when I’m doing housework, I just want to get it done as fast as possible because it consumes a lot of my time and energy.

Sometimes, it’s already 5 pm when I finish all of the wife stuff I’m supposed to do. At that moment, I’m tired, a bit pissed, and perhaps even hungry. Yeah, beneath all of that, I might be a little bit horny, but since I’m in survival mode, that excitement will die down.

I may want to have sex, but I’m too damn exhausted.

You say you get that and then offer to help me. “Just tell me what I can do for you. Everything would be easier if you just spoke up,” you have replied in the past.

Oh, boy!

Bandwith

So, I do a lot of stuff every day. Not only that, but I have to keep track of everything that goes on in this house.

I am, in fact, the freaking house manager. If I don’t schedule it, it doesn’t happen. If I don’t organize it, it won’t get done.

Do you have any idea how exhausting that is?

My brain can barely keep up as it is. And now, on top of that, I have to tell you what needs to be done?

Boy, all you have to do is pay attention.

Go to the kitchen. You will see there are some dishes there. Here’s a tip you should be able to remember: if the dishes are in the same room as you are, then it would be a magnificent idea to get them washed. Don’t ask me if I need you to clean them. Don’t make a big display of how hard it was for you to do it. Heck, don’t even tell me you did it.

To quote a famous slogan, “just do it.”

Our kid needs some help with his homework? Guess what? You can do it — no need to ask for my permission or call me. Go ahead.

In other words, behave as if you were a grown man who has to keep his home clean and fully operational. Oh, and by the way, that’s exactly who you are. Do you really need me to remind you of that?

Consequences

So, let’s say you realized you are an adult and decided to behave like one. You go grocery shopping when you see it is necessary to do so. You start doing laundry, our laundry, which of course, includes folding and putting clothes away.

Best of all, you do it not because you are helping me, but because this is our home, and it falls onto both of us to keep it like a good place to live. You don’t try to make it look as if I owed you something.

I don’t.

Once this happens, you will become aware of something. First of all, since I’m no longer carrying the whole weight of running a house, not only do I have more free time, but I also find myself less tired. It will clear my bandwidth. That’s definitely going to help my horniness come to the surface.

Second, even though you won’t tell me what you have been doing, I will see it. And I’m not just talking about the clean dishes or the folded clothes.

I will notice you. A man who understands we are equals. A man who respects my time and effort. A man who shares responsibilities with me.

That’s sexy AF.

So, no, it won’t be the sight of you cleaning the toilet what will get me off. Instead, it will be the knowledge that you truly are my partner. My companion. And trust me, I’m gonna want to hit that!