The Hidden Ways COVID-19 Messed Up Our Lives

COVID didn’t just mess with the obvious things.

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.-Charles Darwin

As the isolation from Covid-19 eases up, and life inches its way back to normal, the world as we know it has changed, at least for now, for most of us.

I got lucky.

My situation wasn’t affected very much. I temporarily closed my business, but our government supplemented people who lost their jobs, even self-employed people like me, quickly and efficiently. I received about half my wage, but it was enough to keep us going. My husband is an essential worker, so he kept working.

I’m a homebody and introvert by nature, so isolation didn’t seem like a big deal.

Life went on pretty much, as usual.

Sort of.

In the “before times,” a few times a week, after work, my daughter and I would go thrifting.

We had our ritual.

We’d get coffee and hot chocolate and then set out. There are four stores we’d go amongst for our treasure hunts, and we’d do this usually 2–3 times a week. On the weekends, I’d go farther afield, I’d also grocery shop, and go to garage sales in the summer.

I didn’t realize how important these little outings were until they stopped.

Giving up these little trips was more difficult than I thought.

Since I don’t see my friends often, that didn’t really change, so I wasn’t missing them.

It was the contact with people who work in the places I frequent, I missed the most.

That surprised me.

It never would have occurred to me that I’d care about not seeing people I don’t really know.

But we all have a secondary social web.

It’s a no man’s land of people who aren’t strangers or friends. They’re not even acquaintances. The relationship stops just short. We barely acknowledge it, but it’s there running in the background. These people who filter in and out of our lives, however briefly, still affect us.

We all still make a difference to each other.

There might be a guy you nod to every day, a store clerk, or a barista where you get your coffee. You might have a friendly little chat with each of these people every day or every week. You probably don’t even realize you look forward to it or how it anchors you.

As people struggled through the last few months. I’m convinced an unconscious longing for our unnoticed anchors is part of the problem.

Secondary social interaction keeps us planted firmly in the framework of our lives. It reminds us of who we are and keeps us in context. When we lose the outside world, we become slightly less tethered to reality.

Lack of structure and freedom can be liberating in small doses, we all look forward to the weekend. But when stretched out over long periods, it begins to wear thin.

It took less than a week of self-isolation for me to begin to crave the routine and structure of my everyday life. That included my work.

I have a daycare, so I understand the importance of structure and routine for toddlers. It orients them, keeps them calm, and makes them feel safe. They build their world on the foundation of the routines they live by.

We all do.

Since I create tight, consistent routines for the children, my life is also very structured during the week.

In theory, being freed from my workday and the other distractions that usually take me out of the house should have freed me up to write more. But it wasn’t as easy as I thought to use that extra time productively.

I thought the more free time I had, the more focussed I’d be. As a writer, I had this fantasy of how much I’d do if I could practice my craft full-time.

But surprisingly, it wasn’t the case.

All that free time left me unfocused and rambling. More free time caused more procrastination, more aimlessness.

When you’re pressed for time, every moment counts. When all you have is time, a lot of it gets wasted because it’s no longer precious.

COVID turned life upside down and created a Bizarro world for me.

Things I thought I’d enjoy the most, I didn’t, and I missed what barely registered before.

There’s a lot of mental distress going on right now. A lot of it is coming from the obvious places.

But if your life seems turned upside down and you can’t figure out why have a think about the things on the periphery of your life. See if there are routines and rituals you’re missing that you didn’t even realize you had.

Thanks so much for reading!

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