The High of Having Done It: 7 Strategies to Stay on Track

It’s magical and better than any intoxicant. Nothing feeds and soars the spirit like setting a goal and following through.

I just finished a proposal to entice publishers to buy a book I haven’t yet written but have been talking for at least ten years. I did it, folks. I did it.

If I could, I’d leap and click my heels. That’s how happy and proud of myself I am for finally doing the damn thing. And before you judge me a show-off, I don’t mean that in an egotistical, prideful way that says “look at what I accomplished.”

This is what I mean: I’m proud of myself for trying, for having put in the hard work, and for sticking with it every day. For finishing.

My daughter, mother of three boys, who started nursing school at 50 — at the dawn of the pandemic, no less — and graduated two years later, had the same feeling when she passed the state certification exam. She put in long hours, studying, doing homework, sitting in classrooms, sometimes grumbling as she watched presentations on Zoom because class couldn’t meet in person. She did it.

I submit to you: There’s no “high” like it.

And it doesn’t have to a Big Important Undertaking. The feeling of “having done it” can happen when you’ve checked an item off your to-do list, even a relatively insignificant chore, like cleaning out that hallway closet. You did it.

Why It’s So Hard

It feels sooooo good, so life-affirming. But here’s the rub: Whether or not you get that feeling depends on you.

Emotions and excuses get in the way. It took me this long to finally write my book proposal, in part, because that old ogre, Self-Doubt, kept interrruping me. I constantly talked about my old ladies and wrote stories about them on Medium. But is it a book? Will anyone care?

I sometimes questioned whether I wanted to work “that hard.” I’d say to friends, “I paid my dues.” I’ve done at least twenty book proposals. Fifteen became mainstream books, one a huge best seller.

I know first-hand that writing book proposal is a difficult and distasteful task. Why this book, why now, and why are you the perfect author? My agent assures me more than once that “writing the book will be easier.” True, but do I really want to write another?

Yes, I did. But for a long time, I kept writing something else instead.

When I’d take a day to work on the proposal, I complained that it was “so hard.” Several well-meaning friends pointed out that I am older now than I was in 2011 when I wrote the proposal for my last book.

I managed to stop myself from lecturing them on the dangers of buying into the ageist beliefs. Instead, I explained that “old” is a writer’s friend. Experience deepens the mind, broadens the perspective. Aging has done does for my writing what it does for wine: made it better.

Why, then was I not writing? It wasn’t because I am not “too old.” I might be too lazy, too out of practice, too disorganized, too worried that the idea isn’t right, too distracted by the detritus of online life that flows by every day. Age isn’t the problem.

Commitment: Getting Out of the Way

Luckily, discipline doesn’t have a shelf life. A few months ago — after all the excuses and all the conversations and all the fits and starts — one voice in my head finally drowned out the others. Stop this madness! That was my inner old lady speaking. She’s the wisest and most compassionate part of me and always knows what’s best. Just do it.

I listened. I first promised myself, then said it out loud to loved ones and trusted friends that I would scrap my plan to return to Paris. I would stay in Miami for three months and do nothing but the proposal.

I also took care of myself — ate, exercised, slept and wrote every day. Without realizing it, I essentially put myself on “E.A.S.Y” — Eat, Activity, Sleep, time for You — Tracy’s Hogg’s routine for infants in Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. In 2019, when I adopted then 11-week-old Rocky, I discovered that E.A.S.Y. works on puppies, too. Predictability also benefits grownups.

In short, I took care of my needs but also sealed the escape hatch. I wouldn’t let myself back out. I shared my goals with people whose opinions I respected.

In short, I committed.

There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” — Ken Blanchard

No surprise that business leaders talk about commitment. Find a passion, take a first step, be brave, and dive in. Commitment makes it happen.

However, commitment has to start at home. It is the key component of getting anything done — and it comes from inside you.

It’s also a choice. No one forced me to write another book. I had to choose writing each day to finally getting the proposal done.

Admittedly, I still had my moments. Here’s what helped:

1. Realizing it was now or never.

“You won’t be happy with yourself if you quit,” said my partner. “You’ve been talking about this for years.” She was right. When I dared to imagine how I’d feel if I didn’t do the proposal, I didn’t like what I saw.

2. Ignoring the negative voices.

I turned my back on Fear. I told Self-Doubt to mind her own business. I yelled at Ageism for standing in my way. I told Insecurity to take a hike. We all have our demons. They’re just feelings.

3. Staying in the now.

Whenever I found myself “wondering” whether publishing houses would like my book or worrying that it had been ten years since my last one or that I didn’t have a mailing list or a big social media presence or that publishers often prefer investing in “young” authors, I remembered what a very wise woman told me years ago when I was anxious about money. Her words are true of anything you fret about:

Look around you. No one is knocking on your door. You’re not being threatened or carted off to jail. What’s going on is in YOUR mind. Just be where you are and take the next step.

4. Getting support.

It’s hard to take first steps on your own. I’m blessed; I have many good people in my corner who tell me the truth. “Just keep writing,” said my agent patiently as the months dragged on. Early readers said, “I love this” or, better, “I cried” — reactions that encouraged me to keep going.

5. Believing in the project.

This is the golden era of getting old — over 120 million people (Boomers and GenXers) are doing it. But it isn’t just the market for this book that kept me going, it’s the subject matter. I was pitching a book about my much-older friends — women who keep going no matter what. My old ladies taught me the importance of staying in the game, of embracing life instead of dreading age. How could I let them down?

6. Reminding myself of the past.

I’ve done hard things before. I’ve lived through failure and learned from it. Just as important, I’ve had trumphs before. I have a track record. Suck on that, Self-Doubt! I can recall what it felt like to finish other hard tasks. I like that feeling!

7. Letting go of the result.

Putting in time and energy doesn’t guarantee that a project will be successful. I might be asked to rewrite or, worse, no publisher will be interested. Neither possible outcome obscures the accomplishment. I did it — I met my goal. And that, alone, is something to celebrate.

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