The Great Tough Love
When a self-help guru gets too tough
me: I feel so sad. I just want to be left alone and allowed to exist. guru: Fuck it. Nonsense. That’s not going to happen. Stop crying like a baby and start thriving already.
me: I am sad. I think I am depressed. I just lost my son. You know how it feels. guru: No no. I don’t know. I don’t sit and cry just because I lost one of my creations that came out of an accidental frustration release from my part. Stop your childish excuses and man up. I had read a lot of expensive psychology books from my privileged couch, and so trust me I know what is good and right for you. You might get some deep valuable insights into what matters in this life and what doesn’t during this stage of grief, but fuck it I say, just follow my productivity guide.
me: I am not able to focus on productivity these days. You know what, I was thinking maybe I should just relax and forget everything for a while. What do you think? guru: Forget what? Your lazy ass? Just focus harder and put in the work. Life may be calling you out for new adventures and your psyche might be signaling it, but you have no choice other than to follow my strict soul-sucking productivity routine with my new hyper-attention trick which I developed in order to ignore the crying call from my soul.
me: My girlfriend just dumped me and ran away with a neighbor boy. I feel so low. What should I do? guru: Get out of your bedroom and grab the next chick on the street. There is absolutely no reason for you to feel sad when there are many girls out there. Stop being a loser.
me: Covid is hitting like a tsunami. What’s the point with all this improvement good-boy pretence if I could be just fucking dead soon? guru: You need daily routines and be so hyper-focused on stupid goals and tasks that I assign you. In that way, you would not get time to contemplate scary things like death and the meaning of life. me: But isn’t that escapism from one’s fears? guru: No. me: Why? guru: Because I said so. And also I don’t like being questioned. Don’t ever try to push me out of my comfort zone.
If we are to love we must extend ourselves to adjust our communication to the capacities of our beloved — Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled
The entire world revolves around my toughness. If I ain’t tough I am scared something bad might happen — OneSuchToughGuru
