Slothfulness

Some lazy limericks

Q: What did you gain out of this pandemic? A: Gained weight.

There once was a man in great pain

all because of the excess weight gain

he blamed it on pandemic

later decided to be systematic

so he wore a mask and went for a jog, only to be let down by a heavy rain

There once lived a lazy man

who was visited by a shaman;

to help him heal

but ended up in fail-fail

as shaman soon became a happy sloth being eternally grateful to that lazy man.

There once was a lazy fellow named Ted

who always spend his time resting on a bed

resisting even his urge to pee

later he got very thirsty

took no water for it might force urine to be shed

There once was a lazy man with no hope;

passing time staring at his precious laptop.

When needed to rotate his monitor

— being in a state of absolute stupor —

he expected sliding his fingers on the touchpad would rotate the laptop.

There once lived a man who was a lazy creature

people asked him to go for some travel adventure

but he would simply laugh

making them feel put off

he believes by simply being on his couch he is on a ‘travelling-in-time’ adventure

There once lived a man who was fed up with his laziness

he then visited a meditation teacher who teaches mindfulness

he was asked to be mindful

but he found it to be awful

so he soon fell asleep and went back to his usual slothfulness

There once was a lazy young boy from Rome

he used to bunk his karate class and just roam

watching birds in the sky;

suddenly heard a voice: “Hi”

he turned and pissed in his pants as it turns out it was his angry mom

Again there once lived a man with a lazy self

people asked: why don't you motivate yourself

“fuck off,” was his response

as he knew in his bones:

“there is no need to panic as life will take care of itself”

Wondering how to thrive as a mere poet? Here is how: