The Flintstones and Other 60s Shows: I Have Questions

Why was the family holding a car frame while running?

The “Modern Stone-Age Family” elicits many questions

On the heels of The Brady Bunch and Other ’70s Shows: I Have Questions, it became crystal clear that I wasn’t the only one who needed answers. Watching TV back in the day, perhaps we were more accepting of the reality that was presented to us due to our lack of instant fact-checking via Professor Google.

Yes, we were complacent with situations that were clearly unrealistic, untenable or downright ridiculous. Let’s discuss.

The Flintstones

The first animated prime-time television show featured a working class, somewhat simple man, who got into all kinds of trouble with his equally simple friend, Barney Rubble. Sometimes Wilma and Betty their wives (respectively) were in on the activities. More often than not, Wilma came to the rescue to bail Fred and Barney out of their misery, much to their chagrin.

Here are my questions:

1. How was Dino the family pet? We all know that dinosaurs didn’t exist with humans. The last of the dinosaurs (non-avian) died in the Cretaceous-Paleogene era, around 66 million years ago. Modern humans first appeared approximately 300,000 years ago — a very long time after the demise of the dinosaurs. Yet Fred, Wilma, Pebbles and Dino lived in prehistoric bliss in Bedrock’s apparent existence outside of the space-time continuum.
2. Why did the Flintstones and friends run everywhere carrying a shell of a car? Fred and friends took many trips in the family “car” — one without wheels but rather, one that ran — or was run — literally by the passengers’ feet. Why bother? The cons definitely outweighed the pros to doing this, considering the extra weight each passenger was actually carrying for each trip.
3. When did Fred work? Although he supposedly put in time at a full-time job at the quarry, the only time he seemed to see Mr. Slate, Joe Rockhead and all of his other work colleagues was when there was a problem, or there was a party when people dressed up in costumes.
4. The Great Gazoo: Huh? I have so many questions. A green alien who provided advice, admonishment and affection? Whose idea was this and how was it supposed to work? Would most people willingly follow the direction of a (literal) little green man who told them what to do? Most would question their sanity if the answer was “yes.”
5. The “Annie”/Anne Margrock dichotomy Anne Margrock aka Pebbles’ babysitter “Annie,” as she was known, was just too pretty, too sweet and too old to be Pebbles’ babysitter! Wasn’t that obvious to Wilma and Fred when the fire-haired Stone Age sexpot showed up for work that first day? Sure — she loved Pebbles and was good to her, even singing to her about lambs with the most exquisite voice this side of Bedrock — but how believable was she as a child-minder, really? Were Wilma and Fred so clueless or perhaps careless as to not have some suspicions about “Annie”’s true identity? C’mon now.
6. Again, think about this: Running with a car frame…The “car” was really a car frame with people holding it up and running with it. Really, what was the point?

Bewitched

“Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I…”

That old standard speaks to me in more ways than one. The basic premise of “Bewitched” was that mixed marriages can work. “Mixed,” in this instance, refers to the combination of a witch (Samantha) married to a mere mortal (Darrin). The ensuing shenanigans by Sam’s perennially-meddling relatives made the show engaging, if not question-inducing.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved Bewitched — I am the main protagonist, Samantha’s namesake, after all — but there were and continue to be nagging questions that almost 50 years after the show’s demise, still need to be addressed.

Let’s discuss.

1. Gladys Kravitz and her pathological “need to know” This woman was the epitome of “the nosy neighbour.” She spent most of her days peeking out of her front window, watching the comings and goings of Sam, Darrin and the various visitors to 1164 Morning Glory Circle. Okay — perhaps she wasn’t working outside the home, and without the Interwebs back in the dark ages of the 1960s, who can blame her for being entertained/curious/nosy? But seriously, didn’t this woman have anything else to do? And her poor husband Abner. Dude spent most of his time in his easy chair, looking mildly defeated and cowed, trapped in what should have been the relaxing confines of his retirement abode with a woman who clearly had serious issues. Poor Abner.
2. Endora’s unannounced appearances Can we please discuss the very obvious yet unspoken issue of the mother-in-law always popping up unannounced, apparently always watching, listening and knowing what Sam and Darrin were doing at any given moment? Ummm…there are times when a couple might want some privacy, you know what I mean? The all-knowing, ever-present flame-haired, peacock-blue-eyeshadowed mother-in-law would be a real turn-off in more ways than one.
3. Doctor Bombay was a doctor? Really? “Calling Dr. Bombay! Calling Dr. Bombay! Emergency! Come right away!” We knew that when Sam uttered these words, all hell would break loose. That was because the good “doctor” that she summoned would hightail in from some fantastical location and experience would bring his chaos into the Stevens’ home. Okay — for argument’s sake, let us assume that this gentleman really was a doctor. This being the case, should he not be retested on his medical knowledge and abilities by the Warlock Medical Association (or the much-cited “Warlock Council”)? I ask because clearly this individual was a few cards short of a deck. Perhaps the bar is set really low in the witching community, but seriously. Darrin had his number and called him a “quack” on more than one occasion. And still he persisted.
4. Cousin Serena, played by “Pandora Spocks” She looked an awful lot like Samantha. That family resemblance was uncanny! She was also more sly and wry, with a je ne sais quois that made her particularly appealing. Was she Sam’s long-lost identical twin sister? What did Endora know about Pandora and when did she know it? Did Sam ever want to dye her blonde hair black and let the chips fall where they may with a new devil-may-care hairdo, just like her cousin?
5. Mr. Tate’s sociopathy I’ve long thought that Darrin’s insufferable boss should be hauled in to the ethics committee for his shady acts and abuse of subordinates. The yelling, the threatening, the lying at pitch meetings…all signs of a sociopathic leader or, in 2021, a modern-day CEO.

Get Smart

The 60s was a time when James Bond and the lure of dashing spies filled the minds of daydreaming men and women. It was no surprise, then, when Get Smart, a comedy sitcom based on the spy genre, hit the airwaves and became an immediate hit.

Agent Maxwell Smart, his boss -“Chief,” Larabee and a whole slew of memorable characters entertained and engaged audiences who needed a laugh in the midst of turbulent times.

But there were questions. And there still are questions. We need answers.

1. How did Maxwell Smart pass spy school? It’s fair to say that Agent 86 was not the sharpest tool in the shed. A genial guy, sure, and a very snazzy sports car owner but smart (pun intended)? Not so much. And yet he was working for CONTROL, a counter-intelligence agency on behalf of the United States government. Critical thinking and just general good common sense seemed to be absent in this individual, and yet he was expected to thwart various threats to the country and to the world? Um, okay.
2. The Cone of Silence and it’s continual disfunction This device, created to assure complete and utter privacy for classified conversations, was a complete and utter failure. It malfunctioned, and often. Whether it was raising and lowering at incorrect or inconvenient intervals, or better yet, was completely non-functional — allowing all to hear the “private” conversations going on inside, it was a flop. And yet CONTROL used it for the duration of their quest to stop criminals. No wonder they failed…miserably.
3. How did the Shoe Phone get reception? Let’s face it: it was analog all the way in the late 60s. Digital and cellular communications didn’t exist. You couldn’t text your friends to tell them you were late; nor could you call your work colleague on hands-free from your car when you were running late for a meeting. So how did Maxwell Smart manage to connect with Chief and others via his shoe phone? I know, I know, he simply took off his shoe, removed the sole and started dealing. Voila! He was connected. Wireless and everything! Except there was no wireless. No cell towers pinging off multitudes of phones passing by either. So HOW?
4. Why was Agent 99 there? I get the obvious answer — she was a beautiful and smart foil to Smart’s not-so-beautiful and not-so-smart character. But in some ways she was too beautiful and way too smart to realistically be in that role for as long as she was. Think about it: beauty, brains, a cool, calm demeanour: totally not the persona of an individual who needed or would want to stay with bumbling Agent 86.

As you can see, many of these classic shows from a bygone era elicit more questions than they provide answers. I’m going to get to the bottom of these queries no matter how long it takes.

I’ll be back next week with yet more questions. Do you have answers? I’m all ears.