The Constant Battle Between Being Content and Wanting More

We humans are so darn complex.

I remember when I came up with this blog idea. I was doing laundry at my local laundromat, jotting down possible blog topics when I wrote what you now see as the title.

I stared at it for a while and realized this is something I struggle with and always will.

Right now, I’m living what I believe is the best season of my life so far.

I’m financially independent — living on my own and taking complete responsibility for myself.

Yet I think a lot about where I’m going and what’s next.

I used to have a finite mindset.

I thought I would be done once I graduated from school and got a job that paid my bills. Throw in a husband, house, and kids, and that’s when it would all be ‘complete.’

I would be done thinking about what’s next.

But that’s not at all what happened — many of us face crossroads at one point.

I learned I hate being a corporate rat. I cannot sit in a cubicle and stare at a screen for eight hours, five days a week. I did it for two years, and I almost lost my mind.

My eyes were also opened to my family and my dysfunction. I began seeking counseling and other self-improvement resources.

I started to change, and I realized that’s not at all what I want.

At the same time, I had to ask myself, what did I actually want?

I’m still figuring it out.

I constantly battle being happy and content with where I am and my ambition to achieve much more.

I want financial security. I don’t mean a job with benefits. With the pandemic, I learned a job can disappear in an instant.

By financial security, I mean owning assets, having skills that make money, that cover all my expenses and some. Having multiple sources of income — basically, entrepreneurship.

I’m on my way.

I’ve been writing on this platform for almost two years and have made some money. I’ve also started affiliate marketing on the side.

• I will update you on how that’s going. I’ve decided to change part of my strategy because I need to make it clearer.

But there are moments when I pause and look at what’s happening in my life right now — my current job (bartending) isn’t stressful. It provides me with a very nice income without working myself to the bone.

It also gives me ample time to dedicate to writing and building a digital marketing business during the week (I work about three to four days, mostly on weekends).

I’m in a really wonderful spot. I don’t feel overworked and have plenty of time to take care of myself and my creative outlets— it’s a blessing.

But most days, I think about the future and how I’m not where I want to be. There’s so much work to do.

Sometimes the pressure gets too much in my head, and I get analysis paralysis.

Lately, I’ve become very good at managing it. I have to thank writing and Medium for that. When I find myself thinking too much, I write.

I digress. The point is I’m always managing my ambition and my content. And I’m sure many of you are too.

Carefully balancing the two so we don’t stay too long on one side or the other.

Ambition is great. It drives us to make our dreams a reality. Unchecked ambition is dangerous.

I don’t want to fall into the mindset that believes the end justifies the means.

Contentment is great as well. It teaches us to be grateful and be okay with our circumstances, even if they are not ideal.

But unchecked contentment is dangerous too. It can lead to settling and staying in our comfort zone for too long.

Every day I wake up wondering which way my thoughts will go — I’m either going to be extremely grateful for where I am in life at the moment, or I’ll be thinking about all the work that needs to be done to make my goals a reality.

I’m sure many of you understand this feeling.

A battle rages on in our minds to keep these two opposing ideas balanced, so we don’t go crazy.

Tell me, what do you think is more important — being content or ambitious?