Life-Hack — Make Decisions Based on What is Authentic to You.

The cost of living a life based on your values and beliefs is worth it.

Even though I am nowhere near where I want to be in life, I am finally at a place where I’m living based on my values and beliefs. I am no longer dependent or closely tied to relationships, places, or circumstances that hold me back.

I am content and find joy often because I’m starting to live the life I was always meant to. The first step to getting here was disconnecting from all the places and people influencing my choices.

I couldn’t tell at the moment how those influences were affecting me. I needed to be removed from the environment to realize it and move forward.

I learned you need to set a foundation for yourself instead of relying on one built by someone else. Why? Because if you’re not the one setting the rules, someone else is. That's not a bad thing, but it means that some important decisions are made based on what someone else says.

If you’ve never been alone, figuring it out is terrifying. I know because I’ve been there. I faced difficult circumstances where I needed to figure out how to make it independently.

However, I’m grateful this happened because it gave me the push to start figuring out my life. I got to prove to myself that I could do it. I am smart, strong, resourceful, and good enough to make it.

One of the biggest ideas we struggle with is believing we can do it.

This held me back for years. Not believing I had everything I needed to make it on my own. Thinking it was ‘smarter’ to stay put. And in some cases, it is, but sometimes we don’t realize the price we’re paying when we forfeit some of our freedom. I let mine take a back seat for a long time out of fear of rejection.

Life is funny that way. It will make you face your biggest fears. When I had to face rejection head-on, I survived. I’m proud of myself because I learned how to thrive despite it.

It’s incredible how little awareness we have about our choices. The influences push us in a certain direction without us noticing. I lived this way until my mid-twenties. Eventually, I began to wonder why I was not satisfied.

It wasn’t until I ‘rebelled’ that I got the opportunity to look back at my old self and understand why. I was too dependent on the approval of others (I still struggle at times but am doing much better).

I was living under someone else’s roof, following their rules. This, of course, is normal if you’re a kid. But as a young adult trying to find my path, it got in the way.

Not to say I’m not grateful for being provided a roof over my head. I am and always will be. But there comes a point when to figure out where you’re going and how you want to get to your destination, you need your space.

You need to go on your life journey on your terms. Not the ones your family, friends, or society dictate.

As an adult, I had become too dependent on my family’s support. I’m not saying I can’t count on them or they on me. It means I was making excuses for not taking responsibility for my life, needs, and wants. I put my family’s satisfaction before my own.

Eventually, came a point where I grew tired of it. I wanted to start making choices that reflected what I wanted to pursue and how I wanted to live. Soon after, some people around me expressed dissatisfaction with my change.

Dissatisfaction grew into resentment, and resentment into rejection. The time came when I could no longer pretend that the people around me would always support me. I had to let go of some of them.

I do not regret any of the changes in my life. All of them have added up to create the life that I have now. I am glad I followed my instincts.

I’m in a space where I am exploring, at my pace and in my unique way, the type of lifestyle I want to have, the things I want to do, the people I want to hang around, and who I want to be.

I am growing, evolving, and changing.

I am making decisions based on what Angelica cares about. Not what family, friends, and society say I should. It sounds selfish, but it’s necessary if you want a life based on your values.

What I’ve learned is everyone’s vision is a little different. And some people can’t tolerate it. Some want everything around them to be their way. They can’t respect or accept another person doing things differently.

Sometimes these people happen to be close to you. It’s painful. But putting yourself and your life in second place is more painful. Compromising your values so someone else is comfortable.

I had to learn this lesson the hard way.

I make the rules now, so I am free to make any decision. Having the freedom of choice is an amazing feeling and blessing.

On so many occasions, I’ve disrespected my beliefs out of fear of making a family member or friend uncomfortable. I’ve sacrificed my integrity because those who set the rules saw no problem with it.

Making decisions authentically, especially those that can dictate the course of my life, is the most powerful and loving act I can do for myself. The same goes for you. It’s never too late to start making changes and turning things around.