The Biggest Mistake Men Make When It Comes To Dating
The majority of us are guilty, I guess.
I made this mistake myself for a long time.
Fortunately, I have learned from it and can give you a tip that I would have urgently needed a few years ago.
I am sure that many can use this advice. I see men making this mistake all the time.
As a teenager, my success with girls was rather moderate, to put it nicely. Of course, like all young at that age, I wanted a girlfriend. That’s why I tried harder and harder.
Without suspecting that this was exactly counterproductive…
I tried to be nicer to girls I liked, texted more girls on social media, even signed up for tinder, and racked my brain for the perfect profile. I also watched Youtube videos of pick-up artists to learn how to best flirt with girls. Today I know that these things had a triple-negative effect on my dating success.
But why? Aren’t these things supposed to help?
Let me explain.
- I focused on what I didn’t have. What I lacked. This negative attitude destroyed my self-confidence the more I tried to improve my success with girls.
- I tried too hard. This made me seem needy or even desperate to women. I was too nice. Texted too often. I’m sure women sense something like that very clearly and it turns them off extremely. Who wants a man who absolutely needs a girlfriend to complete his life.
- I wasted time. Of course, all this took up time that I would have better spent in the gym or with my textbooks. My attempt to get a girlfriend made me worse at some things. I neglected more important things.
In retrospect, I’m ashamed of that. How stupid I was…
The Switch
But one day I made the best decision of my life. After the success was still missing despite my efforts, I decided to stop thinking about girls for the time being and to concentrate on myself. I trained harder, did better in school, and improved my relationship with my friends. I deleted Tinder and stopped actively messaging girls.
After a few months, this focus on myself and my development bore its fruits. Also with the girls. I don’t know if it was because I got a better body or because I no longer showered them with attention but they were clearly more interested in me.
How crazy. Now that I no longer try it finally works, I thought to myself.
This phenomenon is common and can be observed in many areas of life. The modern philosopher Alan Watts called it The Backwards Law.
How can we explain this?
Let’s think of myself as a product that I want to sell. Initially, I was just racking my brain about marketing.
How can I present myself better on the Internet?
How do I talk to girls so that they like me?
These questions occupied me so much that I completely forgot to improve my product. On the contrary. It even got worse.
After I stopped doing that, I fully focused on product development. Obviously the most important thing. Apparently, I was so successful that after some time the product sold itself. Without any marketing.
I think I also became more attractive because it’s rare for men to keep their goals in the first place when a pretty woman is involved. Most of them would skip their training session to go out for ice cream with a pretty girl. I didn’t. Instead, I told her I didn’t have time until after my workout. At the risk of not making it that day. This ambition is probably one of the most attractive features of a man.
Who would want to be with a man who drops everything for you and completely neglects his body and his goals?
Lesson
Don’t chase, attract.
Work on yourself and you will attract women. Forget Tinder and pick up lines and stop making women your priority. Instead, get a little stronger, a little smarter, and a little more confident.
Maybe also earn a little more money, dress a little better, and learn to speak a little better.
If you work on yourself, your success with women will increase. I promise.
Thanks for reading!
Wait a second. You should get my articles in your inbox. Subscribe here. Maybe you also want to start writing on Medium yourself and make money. I made $3400 in my second full month! You only need a membership for $5 a month. If you sign up with my link, you support me with a part of your fee without additional costs.
I think you will also like these stories:
